The BrikWars Forums

KittywithLEGO:
We're in Gothenburg with nothing to do so we bought some lego and are about to kill eachothers armies.

Arkbrik:
It was ages since I had a live BrikWar, but it was impractical to transport my Lego to Gothenburg. So we went to a toystore and spent a while feeling up some minifig bags looking for figs that were not fucking snowboarders.

KittywithLEGO:



These are my mighty warriors. In the 80s, the guy in black, Jack, was robbing a bank near Buckingham Palace in London when he ran into Sammy, the woman in pink who beat him up for messing with her music. A nearby standing guard chased them down an alley where they met a mafia boss dressed as a clown named Kia, who turned out to be the leader of Jack and Sammy and they decided to kidnap the guard, since Kia was a buddhist and couldn't kill people who hadn't attacked first. Then they suddenly saw a group of people approaching Buckingham Palace...

Arkbrik:



Cleopatra used her incredible ancient Egyptian magic to transport herself and her barbarian bodyguards to the future (the 80s) which she planned to conquer to expand her empire. The first person they met was Jane Goodall. Cleopatra said "Take me to your leader! So I can kill her and take over her empire!" so Jane showed Cleopatra the way to Buckingham Palace and the queen. Just as they were about to storm the palace, they ran into Kia and co., and a fierce battle ensued in the street...

The battle begins tomorrow, October 15th at:

11:00 Swedish time

10:00 GMT

5:00 EST

19:00 Japanese time

18:00 Western Australia time

You will be able to offer tactical advice as the battle progresses. Which we will probably ignore.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

...I'm not bloody flying to Gothenburg tomorrow! Jeez. What do you want from me?

Arkbrik: Oh, we should have mentioned that we will be taking pictures of the battle and uploading them turn by turn... no need to be here in person. Unless you really want to.

KittywithLEGO: You are very welcome to visit me, but I can not give you a place to sleep.

Arkbrik: Ten minutes left until the battle begins! Get your popcorn ready!

KittywithLEGO: Overwiev of the battlefield



My wonderful army



Arkbrik's lesser army



Arkbrik: I have numerical superiority thanks to my monkey and snake, but KittywithLEGO's army is well equipped with ranged weapons (revolver, rifle, boombox). This will be a tough fight.

Turn 1

KittywithLEGO:



I advance my powerful army and i do nothing.

Arkbrik:



My army advances as well, the monkey gets a good sprinting roll and takes a flanking position.



Cleopatra tries a Feat.

"Oh mighty Horus, turn Your sunny eye away from these infidels, so they can't hit us with their silly guns!" she shouts...



...but Horus is displeased and curses her, giving her -1 to all rolls.

Turn 2

KittywithLEGO:



Jack shot and missed, Sammy and the palace guard shot at Cleopatra.



Cleoptatra was redshirted by a barbarian.



Kia tried to do a heroic feat by throwing the pie at Cleopatra with lethal force.



But Kia fell into the pie instead.

Arkbrik:



The monkey charged Jack the gangster, but its banana was blocked. Cleopatra picked up the club of her fallen bodyguard and charged Sammy, but the curse of Horus prevented her from doing anything but flailing around.

The remaining bodyguard, Jane Goodall, and the snake all attacked Kia, scoring a ton of damage...



...but the mafia boss was redshirted of course, by the red shirted guard.

This is awesome!

Turn 3

KitttywithLEGO:



Kia tries to crawl out from under the guard's corpse, avoiding opportunity attacks



One of the barbarians spots Kia and picks Kia up and readies her club.



Splat! She whacks Kia at Sammy killing the boss. Sammy survives.



Meanwhile, Jack kills a monkey



Sammy picks up the gueards rifle that Kia brought along and uses it together with her boombox to beat Cleopatra to death!

Arkbrik:



Mad with grief over her slain monkey, Jane Goodall charges Jack, with rage bonuses to damage.



She mashes his skull with her bone, screaming and crying.



The barbarian bodyguard picks up her comrade's mace and charges Sammy along with the snake, but she manages to block all of their attacks.

Turn 4

KittywithLEGO:



Sammy kills the nasty barbarian with her boombox and rifle combo



She picks up the clubs in triumph

Arkbrik:



But her triumph is short lived, as the snake leaps into her guts while Jane Goodall shoots her with Jack's revolver.



Final overview.



The victors. Jane Goodall will now have to become an expert on snakes instead of monkeys.

In conclusion

KittywithLEGO:
i would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those nosy animals!

Arkbrik:
A glorious victory for the British Empire. The Queen will surely make Jane Goodall a Dame in gratitude.

I'm still laughing at Jane Goodall's exploits. Too bad about the monkey, though.

an awesome battle indeed!

heavyfishcannon wrote: I'm still laughing at Jane Goodall's exploits. Too bad about the monkey, though.

Monkeys are short lived anyway. I had totally forgotten about the snake.

This was quite awesome. Congrats.

Wonderful. Nice posing, and great blood effects!