Hhhooooorrrrssseee!!!
20200806_222923 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
???: "Horse tell story, now me tell story about horse!"
20200806_225757 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
???: "Me Clops. Me one time ago be very successful newspaper sellsman!
Clops: "Good morn, lady. Me Clops! Me ask if you heard good news?"
20200806_225630 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Lady: "News...? What news?"
Clops: "If you kneel before Zod, gubernment give tax right off and extra stim-U-loss check for being bothered! Clops say 'Win, Win'!"
20200806_230154 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Lady: "Wow really? Here I'll take a hundred year subscription!"
Clops: "You got deal!"
20200806_230419 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
*Cash register sound*
Clops: "Clops big pimping, spending cheese!"
20200806_235215 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Clops: "Clops live high life....high dollar glasses and V.I.P. status...then it happen...
*Bring Bring Blah Cell Phone Notification*
*Cell Phone Media*
"Anno Hurse rule galaxy!!!'
Clops: "Bwahaha, silly horse! Good stuff!"
Clops: "Afterwards and maybe tipsy, Clops hit 'like' button...then end became near..."
20200807_000356 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Clops: "But horse never stop after hit like button
*Bring Bring Blah Cell Phone Notification*
"Anno horse rule all universe, losers! Neigh!"
Clops: "Why horse? Me have to work in hour...hhhhhooooorrrrsssseeee...."
Clops: "This all me thought when went sleep."
20200807_004512 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Clops: "But that not bad part....horse send notification every ten seconds of every day. Clops lifestyle was suddenly dumpster fire, Clops health start to go in toilet. Then after few months horse causes issue!"
Clops: "But Bossman, Clops sorry! Not me fault...horse won't let me go to sleep..."
???: "Look Clops, I like you man! You're an alright kid, but being late 29 out of 40 shifts is just ridiculous! I gotta let you go, bro...I'll totally put in a good word for you wherever you end up."
Clops: "But horse is fault of this! Me late cause of horse notifications! That must mean something after Clops loyal service..."
???: "....yeah....See maybe you should've just turned your phone off or something so you were on time for work. Because selling potentially bullshit newspapers is a hardcore commitment...I'm sorry, Clops! Clean out your shit and be outta here before lunch."
Clops: "But what Clops do now? Clops went to college for this...have massive student debt."
???: "Wow....totally shit I do not care about...clean your stuff out before I call some top men to remove you and your sense of chastity."
Clops: "....Clops on way now..."
Clops: "Horse neverending notifications got Clops canned...Clops at loss as life is in shambles now.
20200807_011414 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Clops: "All down hill then....after 'we'll call you' and 'You're top of the list' bullshit interviews, Clops eventually get evicted by old boss vengeful asshatery and no owed pay to cover rent. Clops now homeless and hitting hooch very strong."
Drunken Clops: "
...hhhooorrssseeee...ssszzznnnkkk!"
Clops: "Not place Clops want to be in life."
20200807_013308 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Clops: "Then spiral downward begins...Clops can't get job because of fickle economy...then Clops hit bottom of barrel...once liquor start to not do job Clops start smoking crack in traphouse!
Clops: "
.....hhhooorrrssseee....this all horse fault!"
Clops: "Needless to suggest but Clops in bad spot."
20200807_015437 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Clops: "When 'favors' no longer got Clops fix, Clops was kicked out of trap house after very severe beating...Clops hit bottom of rock and was cast in worse alleyway in baddest neighborhood in meanest city and left to die.."
Clops: "
....hhoorrssee.....fffaauullt....hhhhhoooorrrrrssseeee...."
U.P.F. Patrolman 1: "The hell you just say scumbag?..."
*U.P.F. Dispatch: "Heavy 2-2-5, possible barfight at the 'Blue Oyster'...all available units are to respond immediately!"
U.P.F. Patrolman 2: "Fuck 'em bro, we got a hot call! Let's roll..."
U.P.F. Patrolman 1: "Alright, I need to crack some skulls...call it, partner!"
Clops: "This is certainly not life Clops envision. No house. No car. No wife. This is not dream lil Clops ever believe in....
20200807_015803 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Clops: "....no. This horse fault. All horse fault! Then Clops have moment of Claire-i-tee..."
Clops: "
hhhooorrr
ssseee!!!"
Clops know what to do then...
20200807_021044 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Clops get off the junk, start weight training and redoubles effort to master Club-Fu!!
Clops: "
HHHOOORRRSSSEEE!!!
Clops have purpose again. Clops have goal! Clops feel good about self and cold revenge dish that Clops will feed to horse!
20200807_021357 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Clops: "Now Clops bigger, faster, stronger Clops! Clops going to put together elite team and take stupid crown off of stupid horse head and give horse to dog food or glue factory, don't know which, and take Clops life back, horse!"
Clops: "
HHHOOORRRSSSEEE!!!"
20200807_021510 by
Dats Private, on Flickr
Clops: "We come for you, horse! I come for you, horse! You try to ruin Clops fantastic life and now you must die! Prepare yourself, horse! I come for your stupid horse crown and to smash your stupid horse head! I come...we come for you, horse! You die before Rekonstruction is over, and nothing will stop Clops or us from vengenance, horse! Get ready for big stupid pasture in sky horse! Clops comes for you....stupid horse..."