Trolling: A Personal Journey

[Natalya]

Silent-Sigfig: Diabetes forever, diabetes forever... Wait, what's this?




Silent-Sigfig: Umm, okay...




Silent-Sigfig: Wait, what about that music thing? What a hypocrite, she walked right into this one.

. See, trolling with your powers is fine so long as it doesn't become boring or un-funny.

Does this mean you're done putting music on the forums?

Silent-Sigfig: Post sent. Let's see what she says about that. Queen troll indeed.

[Natalya]

Natalya: Oh some people responded to that thread I made. I'll check it out.




Natalya: Wait, what?




Natalya: Oh man the nerve, he thinks he can come in here and post some shit like that?




Natalya: I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll make him regret ever posting that. I'll get my Mod-Bots to go kick his ass.

[Natalya]

Mod-Bot: Major, we can comply with your request. We have located the Silent Signature-Figurine and are ready to kick his ass.




Mod-Bot: However, it is my duty to inform you that if we comply with your orders you will just make yourself look like a jerk and it will not be funny.




Natalya: What do you mean by that? How wouldn't that be funny?
Mod-Bot: If we kick his ass for you then it will only prove his point; you will have been a hypocrite. And hypocrites aren't funny, they are annoying.

[Natalya]

Natalya: I'm not getting this, what does this all mean in the end? Is he right?
Mod-Bot: Major, when you troll the forum with music, it annoys people. Annoyances are by definition not funny.




Mod-Bot: Trolling therefore is not something you can do with your powers, going by what you said earlier, because trolling is annoying instead of funny.
Natalya: Whaaa..




Natalya: Trolling... not funny... hacking the forum... annoying... annoying... ANNOYING.... ANORAK
Natalya: My god. I am not become admin, banner of noobs.
Natalya: I am become Anorak, ruiner of forums.



Natalya: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Silverdream]

I like how this one is thematically consistent with the rest of the Overwatch saga, where all stories are about self conflict and the inability for people to connect on a fundamental level.

[Natalya]

Natalya: I've become an Anorak oh my god oh my god oh my god....

Natalya: Wait a second...
Natalya: Where the hell am I?




Natalya: Oh shit this better not be one of those stupid things where you suddenly find yourself in an infinite vast expanse of nothingness.




Natalya: God damnit, it is one of those things.




Natalya: Fuck!! You know what? This isn't even creative. This has been done so many times before. Jesus Christ this is so cliché.

[Natalya]

Natalya: Okay so whenever this shit happens someone always shows up and says something. So where the hell are you?
Carpeticus: Are you blind? I've been right here the whole time, asshole.




Natalya: The carpet is talking? Are you fucking shitting me?
Carpet: Actually, since you asked, I am going to be shitting you out all over the place you insignificant worm.




Carpet: This is my world and I am a god here. You are just another fleck of dust upon my vast all-encompassing presence.
Natalya: I must be tripping this is whack.
Carpet: Quite a mouth you have, but no brain behind it. You don't even know what you are. If you could see what I see you MIGHT get a tiny clue of what you're made of, but I doubt your brain would be able to comprehend it.
Natalya: Oh yeah? Try me. I'm the smartest person I know. You're just a fucking carpet, what could you possibly know?
Carpeticus: You have no idea.

[Natalya]

Carpeticus: Look over there. See all the junk strewn about? Everything is frozen in time, as are you. You're just a pawn and you've been left behind like everything else here.
Natalya: Fuck you, I'm the legendary Major of the ASE, I've commanded my soldiers to victory. I've banned people from the Four Rums. I've kicked people from the Czat. I'm the most important person ever.




Carpeticus: And yet, here you are, just another piece of junk waiting to sink in and be forgotten. Honestly, you bore me to tears. All of you think you're so special, so important when actually you're just some ABS that thinks it matters.




Carpeticus: See that? That's another iteration of your body. Cast aside like the worthless rubbish it is. The same as you. Now piss off, Major Natalya. A major pile of crap is all you are.

[Natalya]

Natalya: No. You're wrong. You're wrong, I matter.




Natalya: I fucking matter!!




Natalya: Why can't I get out of here? I know I can get out, I'll kick your ass once I figure it out carpet. You're a liar, you're going down. You do not know who you messed with.




Natalya: When I get this sorted out I'm going to spill wine on you and grind crumbs into you, and I'm going to buy a cult and it's going to eat too much food and throw it up all over you!!
Natalya: Wait...
Natalya: What the hell is happening now?

[Natalya]

Natalya: What the hell you're sucking me in?




Natalya: Let go of me you stupid carpet.




Natalya: I'm not going down, I'm not going to be defeated by you. This isn't how Natalya dies!!

[Natalya]

Natalya: I hate you carpet. I hate everything. This sucks. Someone help me!!




Natalya: Rainbow Dash, Sailor Moon, Haruko, where are you guys when I need you most? I can't do this. It's too strong...

[Ben-Jammin]

THE BEIGE STRIKES BACK

[Kommander Ken]

THE BEIGE STRIKES BACK

[Carpeticus]

*BURP*

[Natalya]

Natalya: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Natalya: Hhhh-- oh...
Natalya: What a horrible nightmare.




Natalya: Wait a minute, I was just on board the Sonks, oh my god that carpet thing was real. Oh man. This is all kinds of messed up.
Natalya: How am I supposed to deal with all this crap?




Natalya: If I can't troll people, then who am I? If I have to change what I do, then am I changing who I am? What's the point of me if I don't do the stuff I do?