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Chapter 1: An Invitation to Mystery


It was a night like any other in the Four Rums. I was enjoying a glass of wine while Colette lectured us on some sort of math theory he has discovered. BFenix was making a go at understanding him but it may as well have been Greek to me. To my right, Vami was slipping in and out on consciousness.


Maybe I should introduce myself. The name's Quantum Surfer! Insert_Blank. You can call me Ib for short though, most people do. Yeah it was a night like any other. Except for one thing: my friend Overwatch_Elite had been missing for 2 weeks to the day.
"Hey," I blurted out, interupting Colette mid-sentence, "Where's Overv been?" Silence.


Scratch, the guy with a globe head, took a long pull of his drink. he shifted his globe to look at Colette. Even the hard stare of Asia wasn't enough to calm the tempest I had just created down.
"Who cares? He was a rubbish member and we're better off with him gone," Colette snapped. "Besides I was in the middle of something, Ib. Could you please wait until I've finished?"
The kid's got a mouth, sure but he's not all bad. He's smart, even if he has the social skills of a bull in a china shop.


"Now that you mention it, I am worried." Confided Silverdream. Another good kid with a heart of gold. Silva is always out to lend a helping hand to who needs it. He's also a good friend of Overwatch. "Last time I talked to him he mentioned something strange though. Something about another Four Rum? No that wasn't it... He said 'Forum 14.' Yeah! That was it!"


And then she walked in. In most stories when the dame walks in it's time to put on a tough front. But this wasn't just any dame. Her name's Natalya and she's one of the big wigs around here. When she says jump you say 'how high?' and all that. One tough cookie.
"Hi Natalya! I like what you did with your hair. Wildstyle, right?" said Vami.
"Oh uh, yeah. Hi." She looked bothered, annoyed. Maybe the hair dye fumes had gotten to her. "What are you guys talking about?" It was an innocent enough question. But in my line of work I've found the most innocent questions can lead to the biggest problems.


"Oh, nothing much," Silva this time, "We were thinking about Overwatch. He hasn't been around recently."
"Really? I hadn't notice," She said, cool as a cucumber in winter. "Did he mention anything?" Now I was supicious. Why the sudden interest, Nat?
"Yeah," Silva continued. "He said something about 'Forum 14' whatever that is." As he said the words I saw her mouth twitch. An icy block of fear dropped into my stomache suddenly, mixing with the warmth of the booze. I had a bad feeling.
"Oh, what's that?" Was it me or was she clenching her teeth pretty hard?
"No idea," Silva continued, oblivious.


TheShadowScythe appeared next to Natalya. Another tough customer, this guy. I didn't know him too well but he was legendary around these parts.
"Hey everyone, what are we talking about?" Again he was casual, almost too casual for me.
Natalya turned to him, "Something called 'Forum 14'."
His eyes widened slightly, I noticed.
"Really? And what would that be?"
"Well that's just the thing," she said, "No one seems to know."
"If no one knows what it is then why are we talking about it? Seems silly to me. By the way let me tell you chaps a story.."
Scythe commanded the room, entertaining us all with his drunken expolits. The Four Rums was bursting with laughter, everyone laughing and hooting at his tale. Well, almost everyone.If I were a gambling man I'd have bet the two of them were hiding something.


I finished my drink and turned to leave.
"Hey, Ib, where you going?" Silva asked.
"It's late, time to turn in." I said as casually as I could.
"Oh, well okay. Bye."


"Later, Silva."
At almost the same time Natalya and Scythe turned to me. "Bye, Ib." they said.
I hurried out the door and into the warm spring evening. Nights like these usually calm me down but not tonight. That icy block of fear sitting in my stomache told me to take the round about way home. Just in case.


Back at the Four Rums the party went on into the night...


I got home and checked my computer for messages from Overwatch. Nothing. Then I typed in "Forum 14". The search result was enough to let me know I was on to something.


It was enough to make my blood run cold.


I was on to something but enough was enough. It was late and my head was spinning. I was gonna regret drinking so much in the morning, I knew. As an afterthought I programmed Bjork_Bot to search for any information about Forum 14 that she could. Maybe when I woke up in the morning she'd have something for me.


As I laid in bed I could feel the room spinning around me. The booze, mixed with the tension I'd felt at the Four Rums had really done my head in.
"Tomorrow..." I said to myself, half asleep. "I'll figure it out tomorrow..."

Good stuff.

Indeed, this is great!

Holy fucking shit.
She actually created Forum 14.
And moved The Hill to it.
And we failed to get it out.


Where expedition failed, Crusade will succeed.
Let's fins us a Hill.

Love that picture you've got there, where did you dig that up?

Google.

That could be a Polonian Soldier fair and square.

Gorthaff wrote:That could be a Polonian Soldier fair and square.

If I had the brix and the skill, I would totally make the Conquistadors into the dude in that picture.

Chapter 2: What Bjork-bot Saw.

"Bjork-bot online. Standing by for orders received. Receiving... receiving... Orders updated. Proceed to Forum 14 Firewall."






"Executing walking protocol."


"Identifying users Natalya and TheShadowScythe."


"Users have entered Restricted Zone. Attempting to enter Forum 14 area now.


"Can't let you do that, Bjork-bot."


An invisible laser strike BB from behind.


"Identifying users BFenix and Duerer. Sending greeting... Processing.... Hello, BFenix. Hello Duerer. How are you today?"


"Error. Greeting not received. Attempt to re-greet in 5 seconds. Countdown..."


*Bzzt*


"Warning. Head separated from body. Please consult the Users' Manual."


"Users BFenix and Duerer have quit the channel. Executing 'Go Home' Protocol."


"Good morning, Sir. Accessing cam footage."
"Uh... Hi BB. What happened to your head?"
"Please consult Users' Manual. Error. Error. Error."
"I need to upgrade this bot badly..."

Looks like Bjork_Bot couldn't get ahead of the fire wall.

I had to. I'm sorry.

Kommander Ken wrote:Looks like Bjork_Bot couldn't get ahead of the fire wall.

I had to. I'm sorry.

Banned.







inb4 ban on this account

Begun the Shinji Wars have.

Chapter 3: A Walk in the Forest

I went down to the Four Rums after I awoke, head pounding. Some hair of the dog would do me good after the nigh I had had. And besides I needed answers. What was the firewall about and why had Duerer and BFenix attack Bjork_Bot?


"User Identified: Insert_Blank. You have been banned on this channel. Have a nice day."
Banned? Me? For what? As I pondered these new questions the door slid open.


It was my old friend Silverdream.
"Ib, man. You can't be here right now. What you did last night made a lot of people angry. I shouldn't even be seen with you now."


And before I could say a word, the door slammed in my face.


Something was up and it was my job to figure it out. What was causing everyone to act so strangely?


And so I put on my Adventure Hood and headed down to the firewall to have a look myself.


"Ib, wait." It was Vami_IV. He was a good kid. A little thick in the head, but a good kid.
"You're going to the firewall, right? Let me go with you. This is a mystery that needs to be solved."
"Thanks Vami, you're a good kid. Let's go."


"Sorry, boys. Can't let you do that."
"Duerer and BFenix. I should have known you'd be here. I knew I smelled something foul."
"Your taunts are meaningless, Ib. We are the watchdogs of the firewall. None shall pass."


"Ib, I don't want to fight you," Bfenix said. "We were friends once. Can you remember those times and give up now? The firewall is there to protect us."
"Is that what your masters told you? And you believed them like a good dog! How the mighty have fallen, BF."


I summoned my skeleton proxies and ordered them into defense mode.
"You leave us no choice, Ib."


They sprung into action. BFenix merely swung his mighty blade while Duerer whirled like a dervish, sword swinging and guns blazing.


In minutes the proxies were wiped out.
"And now," Duerer said, "Time to attack your life points directly."


"You've activated my trap card! Return to life, my skeletons!"
"Shit, I didn't know he could do that."


BFenix strode forward. "In that case... Rage! Rage on!


"Can he even swing that giant thing?" Vami asked.
"Man Vami, every time people ask that the dude ends up being able to whip it around like no one's business. Stop falling into obvious tropes."
"Sorry, Ib."


As expected, BFenix swung his sowrd as if it were nothing more than a wooden training sword directly into my skellies. Poor dudes.


With a grunt, he lifted the sword back into the air, taking my monsters with it.


"I bet he's expended his energy on that one, Ib. He's done."
"Vami you're seriously misunderstanding how these fights work half the time."
"Actually he's right, Ib. I'm just gonna drop it back down now, I'm pretty tired.


The skeletons caught on fire for some odd reason after that.


"Oh yeah? Well... I can just summon more proxies to do battle with you until you're too tired to fight anymore."


I felt something cold slip through my back and out of my stomach. I looked down in a daze. "But.. what?"


"That shit was taking forever."
I felt myself falling, blood spilling out of the wound. "But... Vami..."
"Ib, you really think I would help you get past the firewall? There's a reason it's there. Don't you believe Natalya?


"Anyway, gents. Let's head back to the Four Rums. Drinks are on me."
BFenix and Duerer cheered as they left me behind, lying in a pool of my own blood.


Duerer looked back for a moment and we locked eyes. Then he shook his head.


The door hissed shut. I think I lost consciousness for awhile too.

The End

Epilogue: Beyond the Wall

???: You've failed again.
Natalya: How did we fail? Ib was stopped before he began and everyone sided with us.
???: But now they're thinking about it. We've drawn too much attention to ourselves.


Warhead: How are we going to control the galaxy if every upstart Quantum Surfer tries to test himself against our sanctum?


TheShadowScythe: That is a problem that will have to be addressed in our next meeting. But for now Forum 14 is secure and the threat has been neutralized.
Natalya: I don't know where you get off blaming us, you lazy asshole. You're barely around anymore to know what's going on with our plans.


Warhead: That's true. And it's not worth it for us to be infighting like grade schoolers. We're a team and our goals involve the very plastic of the universe.


???: I wouldn't be so sure everything has been wrapped up as nicely as you seem to think it has been.
Natalya: Who are you? How did you get in here?


???: Remember that a cornered dog is at his most dangerous. Don't be so sure you've seen the last of Ib. Perhaps you should have killed him while you had the chance.
TSS: Quantum Surfers can't be killed, you ridiculous fool!
???: Are you sure of that?
Natalya: Nevermind that, who are you? How did you get in here?
???: I have never left this place. You could say it's my home and you're the intruders. Prepare for the coming storm, Triumvirate. Your time grows short as the winds of change begin to blow.


The Man in Red disappears.
Warhead: Who was that ballerina?
Natalya: Yo! That's a rude word.
Warhead: Sorry.

THE END (for real this time.)

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