Ragnablok

[ninja_bait]

In the vastness of the Beige Linoleum, it is rare to see a pile of greenery.


Even rarer still is to see a red-sleeved arm thrust up out of the magical flora.


Sir Gawayn of the Imperial Magikstrate comes to. He is an ambassador, and a skilled phytomancer. His control over plant life has saved him from a terrible fate (see: Fleet Forum Battle Three),


President Vader of the Council of 500 awakes next to Gawayn. "What the hell happened? One moment, Councilar One is going down in flames, the next we wake up in the middle of nowhere, covered in flowers?"


"I saved us at the last minute using teleportation. But my magik is still not working correctly in your universe. Instead of teleporting to an allied base, we've teleported to this void - some kind of beige world between worlds! I am afraid there is no way to get back home."


"There is always a way home," Vader replies. "I have survived through many wars and wildernesses. None could claim me.
Walk with me, and I think we shall find this one is no different."


Vader and Gawayn trek for days.


Oases are few and far between but the respite from the desolation is welcomed by both men. They stop to resupply.


Eldritch horrors lurk in the Beige Linoleum, but these are not the first Vader has seen. "Go for the Barnicle's neck!" he hisses.


The skilled warriors make short work of the small-spawn.


Vader applies his knowledge of the Barnicle's anatomy and basic engineering to fashion a new arm for himself, replacing the one cut off by Warhead when they had to escape the Grand Galactic Empire.


Vader and Gawayn discover they are not alone. Aboriginal peoples have lived in the Beige Linoleum since time immaterial. Their ancestors came from universes like the Ninja_verse and the Brikverse, but they long ago gave up seeking a way home. They tell stories of even greater monsters, ones with the power to end universes, that stalk the desolate plains.


The sky darkens. "If you wish to escape the Beige Linoleum, there is an Ancient One you must defeat. His footprints are death, and his battle cry is He counts down the days to the end of the Brikverse, and prepares an army that will brutalize your peoples. Even if you kill him, even if you return home, you cannot turn the tide of this apocalypse, and there will be nothing left but ashes. Stay here, where it is safe." But Vader and Gawayn cannot stay.


Vader and Gawayn track the Ancient One's trail of death.


They find him, and stay out of view. The Ancient One's music of destruction rings out across the plains.


The music stops for a moment as Brikthulu adjusts something on his wrist. "Look," Gawayn whispers, "that's the artifakt the old wise man told us about. That's the RAGNA CLOCK!"


"I was wrong," replies Vader. "This wilderness is nothing like the ones back home."

[Falk]

Oh snap it’s the last book!

[lordintype]

[RedRover]

So so good!

[ninja_bait]

Vader and Gawayn aren't the only ones trapped in the Beige Linoleum. The T.L.A. ship Pericles has been marooned here since the Last Battle of New York, cast into the void by the plot-altering powers of Austin's Box. Captain John Carter and his mechanic, Beck Driscoll, are returning from an expedition into the void.


As they approach the makeshift camp assembled under the wreck of their ship, they are greeted by the familiar sound of the Goose twins bickering. So far, they've managed to keep the emergency transmitter broadcasting, but most of the ship was scattered across the void.


Dr. Moses Schlesinger, the Pericles's financier, stands guard by their campfire with Sam Porter Bridges, the man who delivers. "Did you find anything, Carter?" he asks.


Carter sits by the fire and rests his legs. "No, there's nothing in that direction either. Wherever the Pericles's parts are, they're not within two days' walk of here. We haven't found anything more sentient than a fish or more advanced than a pointy stick."


"The beige just goes on forever, Doc. I think we might be stuck here for good."

[ninja_bait]

Chives, boss of the Space Repair Garage, lands his space tow in the Beige Linoleum. He has questions, but a good wreck always takes priority in his mind. "Someone call for a repair team?" he asks.

"That's definitely us," one of the foreign crew says. "Thank the stars you found us!"


Introductions are given all around as Chives' crew gets to work unloading supplies and surveying the damage.


"Hey, I'm Goose, I own this ship, nicetameetya."
"I'm Midge. Excuse me, I have a job to do."
"oh... okay..."


As the SRG crew bustles around, Chives talks details with Carter and Driscoll. "So you haven't found any your parts yet?" Chives asks incredulously.

"This was no ordinary crash," Carter explains. "We weren't even in the Pericles when Austin's Box cast us into this void, so it's a miracle we found the bulk of the ship at all. But we've checked every bit of linoleum within a two days' walk and turned up nothing. There are a few rock outcroppings that might have ore, but of course we couldn't make use of them."


"Well, the good news is with our vehicles we can expand the search radius. And we have some raw supplies and basic mining equipment to extract materials. Now, my lead junker is Jax Redbird; he flew in with us but now I don't see him or his ship. Where'd he go?"


Jax has flown to a distant part of the Beige Linoleum to meet with the old wise man. "I'm looking for a wanderer, the one they call the Street Shaman."

"He has not been to these parts in a Rekonstruktion or more. Only a great confluence of Koincidence can summon the Street Shaman. He usually lands in the Great Clothen Valley."

"Koincidence, I have in spades. Time, I don't. Thank you for your help."


Jax lands back at Pericles base camp as if on cue. "My ears were burning, someone call for a junker?"


A table has been set up, with technical readouts and blueprints spread out over it. "Just in time, Jax," Chives says. "Meet Captain John Carter and Goose. We're reviewing the critical components we need you to retrieve."


"I'll be honest with you, this isn't the usual kind of job the Planetside Assistance Unit handles. We're basically going to build this ship from scratch."

[Quantumsurfer]

!

Also, brilliant effects.

[Maraxous]

I really like how the guys from the comic, translated into the new reality. Nice effect!

[ninja_bait]

Pericles Repair Camp

"Okay Boss, I think the radio is working now."


"Okay, fire it up. Let's see if anyone is listening."


"Alright, here goes nothing. Calling on all T.L.A. frequencies... This is the T.L.A. Pericles requesting aid. Can anyone hear us out there?"


Carter repeats his call for help as the system cycles through frequencies. For a while there is only static, but an image eventually flickers into view... and a voice!
"This is Captain Fury... This is a restricted frequency, who the hell is this? Wait, Pericles? Where the hell are you guys? Are you still on New York? Can you patch me through to President Bob?"


"No, we got trapped in some void by Austin's Box. What's going on over there, what's with the explosions?
Fury yells over the noise. "Not much time! You know that old fairy tale grandma told you at bedtime? Well it's real and it just smashed the W.U.N.D.E.R. and the planet New York! The Hatredcopter is fucking real! We're abandoning ship!"
Carter sucks in air. "So no chance for rescue, then?"
"Shit, no! Listen, we're going to muster as much of the survivors at the fallback point and then figure out what to do... Fucking hell... no Bob, no fleet, is there even a T.L.A. anymore?" Carter struggles to think of an encouraging response. "Whatever! Carter, I gotta go! You know where to find us!"


The transmission ends abruptly, and the radio finds no other active frequencies. Chives turns to Jax in confusion. "What was all of that," he asks. "Sounds like the end of the world out there."
"It is the end of the world. Everything is converging now."
"Wait, I was just making a hyperbole... Why do you look so serious?"


"I can't explain yet. I need to find someone out there first. When I come back it will begin to make sense."


The Invictus blasts off into the sky as Chives, the repair boss, wonders at his mysterious employee.


There is no way for Jax to know where the Street Shaman will be. In the void, a person can be anywhere and nowhere, and not even flying in circles for months can get you close. Unless, perhaps, you are linked by a bond that goes beyond science. Just as two magnets find each other, one quantumsurfer can always find another when the need is great.
And so Jax Redbird, AKA QS! Ninja_Bait, finds QS! Quantumsurfer, the Street Shaman, with ease.


"You're here. Does that mean it's time already?"
"Yes, the threads are converging. The end is near."


"It's not too late to change the plan, Ninja_Bait. I am still not convinced we were not too hasty in setting things in motion. Maybe we should just let the dice roll through their course. Just consider how early Ragnablok is. We are not as much in control as we thought."


"Quantum, the four Ragnabooks have been revealed. The Blue Guy is close to wielding all of them."


"The Quantumsurfers have all been gathered - all the living ones, at least. They voted! They are in agreement."


"My plan is going to save the universe. Don't flake on your part in all of this now. I have the heroes I need, all except the master of Rekonstruktion."
"You flatter me," Quantumsurfer chuckles. "You think I am the Master of Rekonstruktion? Just shows how little you know about the cycle of Ragnablok altogether. Still, I like your plan and not just because I like everything creative. It has a chance of working, and that's special."


"Let's go, Ninja_bait. I assume your ship has two seats?"
"Well... Let's just say things are going to be intimate."

[Theblackdog]

This is getting good

[ninja_bait]

Pericles Base Camp


Jax arrives in the Invictus, parts in tow. "Here's the last bits we need to finish repairs."


"Wait, Jax, are these PEOPLE?"


"Hmm? What people?"


"These ones I'm holding right here! Why are they in bags?"


"Wait, WHAT?"


Falk: "Nyeh heh heh heh"


Chives shakes it off, wondering if he's going crazy. "Alright, let's get this stuff unloaded and finish up repairs. You all know what to do!"
"Chives, you need to come with me. I have a lot to explain," Jax says seriously.


Carter: "Okay, hold on, I think I understand but just in case, you're going to need to explain that all over again, because WHAT?"


"Good, Carter's already here. I'll need both the Garage crew and the T.L.A. for my plan."


"This is the Street Shaman," Jax says.
"Hello!"
"However, that is not his true name, just as Jax Redbird is not mine. We are beings of a higher dimension - Quantumsurfers! Imagine if we were two-dimensional beings, encountering three-dimensional beings for the first time. We would only see a cross-section of them, and they would be capable of doing things we could never imagine. That's what Quantumsurfers are - you can see us as minifigs, but we exist on many more levels than that.
"Some say we control the universe, but the truth is not so simple - nor is it worth explaining right now. Suffice it to say that the things going on in the Brikverse are signs of the end of time - Of Ragnablok! President Bob's adventure on New York is but one part of the puzzle.
"Another piece is here, in the Beige Linoleum. That is why I have brought you all here. The Ancient One Brikthulhu is stalking these planes, waiting for the moment to strike and inflict the Brikverse with Ensanity. If this is allowed to happen, the Brikverse will become truly stagnant, with no soul left in it. We must defeat Brikthulhu and take his artifakt, the Ragnaclock. Already, others are beginning the fight. Are you ready to save the universe?"


Chives stands in awed silence.
"Finally!" Carter finally says. "I've been itching for some action!"


"Let's get the damn Pericles flying!"

[Kommander Ken]

Yesssss so much ossum packed into this. The Ragnahype is real!

[ninja_bait]

Chives: There's still some finish work to do, but she flies.
Carter: And she can shoot. Oh, how I missed you, baby.


Jax/Ninja_bait: Let's stop lollygagging. It's time.

[Theblackdog]

[ninja_bait]

Gawayn and Vader are locked in battle with Brikthulhu. "Come on, Vader, do it! We're getting through!"


"You and I have very different definitions of 'getting through,' Gawayn. Do you SEE the nether portal opening beneath our feet?"


"He's only getting stronger by the second! ARRGHHH!"
"Hold on, Vader, I'm coming!"


Briefly, Brikthulhu's attention is diverted.


The Pericles and Invictus appear from the east, blazing toward Brikthulhu.


"Pericles! We're just in time! You know what to do!"


"Okay! Let's activate the AT shield!"


"AHHH PEW PEW PEW DIE YA SLIMY OCTOPOD"


"Goose, I told you! Guns have no effect on Brikthulhu! Just work on that AT field!"


Vader and Gawayn see an opportunity.


They lunge at Brikthulhu's throat, driving their swords between his fleshy tentacles.


As Brikthulhu cries out in bloodcurdling pain, he grabs the two brave knights.
"o kurwa"


Y E E T


The pests gone, Brikthulhu prepares to end the career of the Pericles with his chords of death.


"Activate it! Activate it NOW!"


"AT FIELD AT MAXIMUM! PATTERN ORANGE!"


The AT Field Shield Generator comes alive just as the death beam from Brikthulhu's bass activates. It holds, just barely. Just long enough.


"Okay, boys! Looks like it's my turn!" Chives' Repair Truck flies out from the shadow of the Pericles.


As it flies by, a figure leaps out the side door.


Brikthulhu's arms are pulled back by the truck's powerful tractor beams.
Ẃ̴̩͓̄̿̍H̴͕̎A̴̛͙̫̋̓͒͠T̸̫̹͒̀̀̈ ̶̢̳̻̥̄Ď̶̪͔̞͔̏́͗̾Ǫ̵̰̩̥̹̋̈́ ̷̜̲̰̾̓͑͜ͅŸ̵̝͖̠̰́O̵̲̪͚̯̣͋͛Ȗ̴̲̘̳̆̋́ ̴͓̠͎̘̎́͠F̷̨̩͓̼͊O̶̲̲͚̠͆̽̓̈̚͜O̷̩͇̩̰͌͛͊L̶͇̘̔͋̾S̸̹͚̟͎̈́ ̵̰̤͙͎͐̆T̸͓͍̯̯̘̍H̵̞͎̤̚Ī̵̧̪̣̬̔̓͜͝N̶͉̣͐̿̽̚Ḵ̸̹̩̻́̀ ̶͕̖̓̚Y̴̤͋̀̇̇O̶̢̹̞͔̣̐Ų̴͂͊ͅͅ ̵̬̇͊͗̕̚Ǎ̷͎̹̀R̸̝̉̚E̴̩̔̒͝ ̶̥͚͑͐͌Ḑ̴̲̊͊̊Ő̷̢̻̾̌Ị̶̀̓̓̽Ṅ̴̳͂G̴͇̼͛́̌?̵̟͇̪͔̀͑̄!̵̧̠̟̦̒̊̒


"Who the hell is that?"
"I don't know, but he has a fire ring. He must be very powerful."


"Brikthulhu! I come to bargain!"


Ị̶̢͒ ̸̭̹͗̀B̷̡̰͗̅̒A̵͙͋͊R̷̙̪͉͍̒̿̒G̴̥̯̃̄̃A̸̺̞͌͛̂̒Ĭ̷͈͂̋̕͝N̶͖̤͇͈͚̉̈́̓ ̷̖͕̿̒̂͝W̶̯͌́͠͠Ȉ̸͔T̶͚̣͇̍̏͠H̸̢̜̗̤̏ ̶̡̰̪̘̀̈́͠Ņ̸̤̈́̅̂͑͘O̸̡̧̮̮͚͗̀̕ ̶̲͌͜M̶͎̩̺̍̐̀̇̕͜Ḭ̴̙̍̂Ṋ̸̢̝̥̈͋̓ͅI̷̦̒̑̓͋F̴̪̘͊̉͑̿I̷̼͊̌G̸̜̈́̏̆͂U̴̬̭̺͎͌̈́̆R̴͙̊̌̆Ë̷̝͕́̑̂̒́!̶̨͓͈͖̳̔̕͝


"Figures," Quantumsurfer mutters to himself.


"Then I must destroy you."


I̵̢̞̍̄͗͘ ̶̨̡̭͉̫̓̒̚D̶̩̣̈́Ä̷̧͔̭̩̈̊̀̓R̷͈̻͙̩̜̈́̊̄̂͠É̵̖͖͂̊͜ ̴̞̳͉́͆̈́Ÿ̶̖̹͙̝̠͝O̸͈̓̀U̴̱̫̎̔̅͑͠ ̷̧̏̅̇T̷͍͍̮̝̫́͋̄O̵̼͐͗̏͘ ̶̫͈̆̓̕͠T̸̮̤̹̘̪̐R̷̭̂́Ỷ̶̰̮͒͆͛̃Ỳ̸̻͐͑͌Y̴̦͗̌Y̵̢̹͒͋̔͜͜͠Y̴͙̟̜̌Y̸̯͈̮͉̓Y̴̹̐̍̎Y̵̤͉͚̤̰͗!̸̡̢̳̖̆͐̍


"RAHHHHHHH!"


SMASH!


"Quickly now, while he's weakened," Quantumsurfer says to the knights.


They strike as one.