[Legend of the Ancient Maniac Beer] (LAMB) Retrieving The Blacksmith
Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2020 5:53 am
PREVIOUSLY...
NOW...
As Ragn enters the seemingly abandoned blacksmith, he takes a look around. Finding it mostly undisturbed, he lets out a sigh of relief. But before he can make his next move, footsteps can be heard nearing the building...
Ragn: "Sh!t."
Protector: "Stop right there, criminal scum! In the name of the CSA, we apprehend you for theft, the smuggling of contraband, murder and a downright crappy attitude!"
Ragn: "I assume we can't talk this out over a nice refreshing can of Maniac Beer?"
Protector: "There's a bounty of a hundred thousand on your head, wise guy. We turn you in and we're set for life!"
Ragn: "A hundred 'kay? How insulting, surely I'm worth more than that?"
Protector: "What th-"
L-MO: "TIME TO PLAY!"
As one of the Protectors is hoisted into the air by L-MO, the other drops their weapon in utter terror. Ragn reaches for his latest invention...
A sickening popping sound is heard, blood and body parts spilling on the ground...
L-MO: "UH OH, L-MO BROKE THEM."
Protector: "S-Stand back, you maniac!"
Ragn: "Consider yourself privileged, my friend. I've never tested this thing before. Let's see what it does, shall we?"
Protector: "Whatever you're planning on doing, you'll pay for it! The CSA will get you for your crimes!"
Ragn: "That's the funny thing about this all, isn't it? I never had a plan, I just wanted free beer."
Ragn activates the invention...
Protector: "WHAT?! Are you kidding me?! There's several agencies demanding your head, and all that just for some be...BeEeeE..."
Protector: "..Eer?...Wow...It's so nice out...Sun's so warm on my face..."
Protector: "Hehe...Hehehe...I feel...GREAT! EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!"
Protector: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!-"
The Protector's head explodes from happiness and excitement, their helmet catching most of the blow. Ragn stares at the aftermath, taking mental notes for the future...
Ragn: "Alright L-MO, let's grab what we came for and get out of here."
L-MO: "OKAY!"
And so they exit the scene, leaving behind a familiar calling card of dead bodies and residue of TP...
L-MO: "MISTER VALDR? ARE YOU OKAY? YOU'VE BEEN REAAAALLY QUIET!"
Ragn: "...Yeah, don't worry. I'm just thinking."
L-MO: "OKAY! SHOULD L-MO SING THE L-MO SONG TO HELP MISTER VALDR THINK?"
Ragn: "Aaah-if you don't mind, I'd rather listen to something else right now."
L-MO: "OH, OKAY! L-MO WILL BE REAAAALLY QUIET TOO THEN."
Ragn: ("...")
NOW...
As Ragn enters the seemingly abandoned blacksmith, he takes a look around. Finding it mostly undisturbed, he lets out a sigh of relief. But before he can make his next move, footsteps can be heard nearing the building...
Ragn: "Sh!t."
Protector: "Stop right there, criminal scum! In the name of the CSA, we apprehend you for theft, the smuggling of contraband, murder and a downright crappy attitude!"
Ragn: "I assume we can't talk this out over a nice refreshing can of Maniac Beer?"
Protector: "There's a bounty of a hundred thousand on your head, wise guy. We turn you in and we're set for life!"
Ragn: "A hundred 'kay? How insulting, surely I'm worth more than that?"
Protector: "What th-"
L-MO: "TIME TO PLAY!"
As one of the Protectors is hoisted into the air by L-MO, the other drops their weapon in utter terror. Ragn reaches for his latest invention...
A sickening popping sound is heard, blood and body parts spilling on the ground...
L-MO: "UH OH, L-MO BROKE THEM."
Protector: "S-Stand back, you maniac!"
Ragn: "Consider yourself privileged, my friend. I've never tested this thing before. Let's see what it does, shall we?"
Protector: "Whatever you're planning on doing, you'll pay for it! The CSA will get you for your crimes!"
Ragn: "That's the funny thing about this all, isn't it? I never had a plan, I just wanted free beer."
Ragn activates the invention...
Protector: "WHAT?! Are you kidding me?! There's several agencies demanding your head, and all that just for some be...BeEeeE..."
Protector: "..Eer?...Wow...It's so nice out...Sun's so warm on my face..."
Protector: "Hehe...Hehehe...I feel...GREAT! EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!"
Protector: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!-"
The Protector's head explodes from happiness and excitement, their helmet catching most of the blow. Ragn stares at the aftermath, taking mental notes for the future...
Ragn: "Alright L-MO, let's grab what we came for and get out of here."
L-MO: "OKAY!"
And so they exit the scene, leaving behind a familiar calling card of dead bodies and residue of TP...
L-MO: "MISTER VALDR? ARE YOU OKAY? YOU'VE BEEN REAAAALLY QUIET!"
Ragn: "...Yeah, don't worry. I'm just thinking."
L-MO: "OKAY! SHOULD L-MO SING THE L-MO SONG TO HELP MISTER VALDR THINK?"
Ragn: "Aaah-if you don't mind, I'd rather listen to something else right now."
L-MO: "OH, OKAY! L-MO WILL BE REAAAALLY QUIET TOO THEN."
Ragn: ("...")
and 
.
