The BrikWars Forums

This thread is for the story-oriented portions of Whatever Quest. For battle, go to https://brikwars.com/forums/viewtopic.p ... ae#p364458.

Directory
Episode 0: Wherein We Meet the Minifigs (SOAP)
https://brikwars.com/forums/viewtopic.p ... 22#p364521
Episode 0.5: Wherein the Minifigs Get Some Weapons (SOAP)
https://brikwars.com/forums/viewtopic.p ... 20#p364522
Episode 0.75: Wherein the Minfigs Battle Some Rats in a Basement (BATTLE)
https://brikwars.com/forums/viewtopic.p ... 78#p364478

Episode 0: The Premise

The land of Sandbawks. Five strangers, none of them heroes, walk into a bar.

Spoiler

Show

The bartender looks them over and says, "Ugh, is this a joke?"

Spoiler

Show

The woman in purple slams the counter, "I wanna talk to your manager about the Hammer McLargeHuge!"

"Ja, I as well." says the blonde. "Ditto." says the rocker. "This tastes like blue!" says the sci fi guy. "Crap." says the orc.

Spoiler

Show

"That's been lost in the Character Funnel Caves for at least like... six years or so." The bartender grabs his gun. "Now, since you're all clearly a bunch of hero-wannabes with no cash and poor people skills, beat it!"

Spoiler

Show

"We better team up." says Petunia Purple, outside of the bar. "Less likely that I'll die if you guys absorb some of the peril."

"I was just thinking ze same thing," Chuckles Ze German.

The rest voice their assent, or indifference, then prepare to go on a quest!

Spoiler

Show

"So, uh, anybody have weapons or gear aside from stolen booze?" asks Brok the Blue.

His answer is a collective "Crap."

Spoiler

Show

Tune in at some nonspecific time for episode 0.5: The Side-Quest for a Sword or Stick or Something... assuming you've nothing better to do.

It's that time again! Oh no! Whatever Quest Episode 0.5!

The crew arrive at McDamage for some weaponry. Tired of lugging their drinks around, Sal Silver and Gottfried Gold down their booze! Petunia Purple, Brok the Blue, and Penny the Pink decide to go in ahead of these clowns.

Spoiler

Show

“Hi! Welcome to McDamage, home of the BigMOC! Can I-”

Petunia interrupts the ninja-cashier, “Get your manager? Yes! I need weapons and I doubt you-”

Spoiler

Show

“Please, ma’am, retain a respectful distance in this establishment! I’d be delighted to help you!”

Penny: “Hey, watch it!”
Gottfried: “No, you watch it!”
Sal: [Contemplating murder]

Spoiler

Show

Brok: “Hey, Petunia, maybe tone down the manager stuff?”
Petunia: “For your information, Angry Karen is going to be my Heroic Cliche. So mind your own business!”
Brok: “Eesh, alright.”
Ninja, storing her gun back in Hammerspace: “She’s right! A hero needs a cliche to be effective, although pardon my astute observation, but you all look to be regular minifigs.”

Spoiler

Show

Penny: “Yeah, until we get the Hammer McLargeHuge! Then we’ll have it all: power, cliches, money!”
Gottfried: “ein-nay on ze oney-may!”
Ninja: “Oh, you guys are broke? That’s too bad.”
Sal: [Contemplating murder]

Spoiler

Show

Ninja: “Normally, I’d eject penniless figs with extreme prejudice! But today’s your lucky day! Help me solve a problem so I don’t have to report it to management, and I’ll give you all a free weapon!”
Petunia: “We’re already on a quest, tha-”
Brok: “It’s a side-quest, fool! It’s normal and acceptable to load up on side quests while your main quest just waits for completion.”
Ninja: “Great! Now, instead of giving you a chance to delay the mayhem any longer, I advise you all grab a weapon and head on into our rat-infested basement and make it safe again!”

Spoiler

Show

Brok secures an axe, while Petunia takes a spear. Gottfried grabs a sword, and Sal gets a space blaster. Penny is concerned.

Penny: “So, like… it’s pitch black down there?”
Ninja: “Oh, no, there’s creepy lighting once you get into the basement, I promise. It’s just a separate set piece so this black plate implies that you can move down a level here.”
Penny: “Oh! Gotcha! I’ll grab that sweet red katana, then.”

The ninja cashier hands Penny her weapon of choice, and Penny jumps in!

Spoiler

Show

Rat 1: “Skree!”
Rat 2: “Skree!”
Penny: “Sh-”

Spoiler

Show

Tune in next time for episode 0.75 of Whatever Quest: Rodent Rumble! If your time isn't really that valuable.