PREVIOUSLY...(Battle Report)
CLOsing Act
A SHORT TIME AFTER THE BATTLE...
[WARNING: CRASH IMMINENT]
[WARNING! WARNING! WAR-]
"SONOFA-!"
"Dagnabbit, Agnus! I told ya to pay attention when pilotin'!"
"Aww gee, Pawpaw. We survived, didn't we?"
"SONNY I'M ABOUT TA-"
"...Wait. Where the blazes are we?"
"Would ya look at that, Angus! Someone dropped a perfectly good keg of
OT!"
"Why, if I had a keg of
OT I'd make sure ta keep it saaaafe an' sound!"
"Well sonny, looks like someone clearly has too much of it. And I think they'd be more than willin' ta share, if ya catch my drift."
"Look, Pawpaw! Those folk over there seem to be mighty busy with something!"
"Let's show them some good ol'-fashioned guestpitality, then!"
Pawpaw whips out the
Sawed Off Godgun, because there is no kill like overkill.
"WHO GOES THERE?! IDENTIFY YOURS-"
*Click-ck*
A sound more comparable to Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture than an actual shotgun echoes through the air, blasting the tree to the ground. The other civilians begin to panic!
Pawpaw wastes no time and immediately goes for the main goal. The skeleton nervously tries to talk the old redneck professor out of it...
But Pawpaw knows better than to trust CLOans, pulling the trigger faster than an indie game developer selling out to Steam. Neither the skeleton nor The Buttman Who Laughed His Ass Off survive the onslaught of oversized shotgun ammunition to the face.
"Would ya look at that, sonny! We hit liquid gold!"
"Hey Pawpaw, doesn't this stuff look suspiciously like blood?"
"Is it red, sonny?" "Ummm, yah." "Is it transparent?" "Uh huh..."
"It's
RT maniak beer."
"Okay, but why is it stored in boxes instead of barrels?"
A long, boring and totally neglectable scientific explanation later...
"Oh wow, it all makes sense now!"
Pawpaw's endless greed isn't sated yet, and so the two scientists continue to explore the pier of Halloween Town. Using the boats as a makeshift bridge, they climb their way to the ritual grounds...
Angus gets to perform the heavy physical labour in restoring the altar while Pawpaw acts as supervisor.
"Gee Pawpaw, why are we bothering with this mumbo jumbo magik stuff? I thought we were science-y folk?"
"Because even those crazy kultists knew what worked and what didn't. Morons just didn't know how or why."
"Ya see, if ya put the
RT in those bowls, and then add a lotta heavy sound..."
Pawpaw plays some of the heaviest metal known to minifigs on the radio, causing the
RT to burst into flames! Things seem to stay the same until Angus adds a touch of whimsical banjo playing!
"DAGNABBIT ANGUS! WARN ME FIRST!"
As Angus' banjo mixes with the heavy metal, the ground begins to shake and fall into the water, all the pumpkins-turned-spiders hidden under the ground pouring out!
Luckily, Angus' music is so awful they all run away in terror!
The streets of Halloween Town fill with spiders and screams, the two scientists looking at their newfound loot.
"I knew it, sonny! Look at alla this goodness!"
"Hey Pawpaw, what's that weird pink one? Looks mighty fancy."
"Who cares, let's get it all on the ship and skeedaddle back to HQ!"
Our two heroes celebrate their lucky find with a nice bottle of underground-cooled
OT, before heading back into space using the engines they stole from the smuggler's boat.
Cheers!
dis gon b gud
