The First Encounter [BF15]

[bann154]

It had been days or had it been weeks? I couldn’t be sure how long it had been since the pointed eared ones had come to the Atherta Federation planet of Vursar. They had struck in the dead of night appearing from seemingly no where they had popped up on the long range scanners in the Duler forest region when a patrol had been sent to investigate the patrol simply disappeared. When that had happened a much larger patrol was sent to investigate the initial patrols disappearance I was part of that second patrol.
It something was out of place as we traveled to the Duler region everything was normal or at least it seemed so to most but something was just not right there were no animals around the area, usually you couldn’t walk a few hundred meters without seeing something along the way. But we paid no mind to it and continued when we were around 1 kilometer from where the first party was last seen when we were hit.
They came from the shadows and from under foliage they charged us some females wielding blades some men with long rifles but the worst of all was their tanks we were sent with only a pair of battlesuits for support and when their tanks fired they blasted them to pieces with but a few shots. We never stood a chance those of us that were disciplined enough formed a shield wall extending our rocket pikes towards the enemy we stabbed everything that drew near soon the enemy bodies began to pile up making us a makeshift defensive wall.
But we were no match for them as each member of the phalanx fell our circle grew smaller until only I was left. I stood at the middle of a pile of dead bodies as they closed around me none of them shot I had no idea why they did not shoot they simply closed in I quickly discarded my shield as it was useless without my brothers to defend my flanks. They continued to close in but then they stopped and I felt a sharp pain in my head and then I fell unconscious.
When I awoke I was being dragged in a place I had never seen before, a large room with white pillars each reaching to the ceiling and then joining each other at the middle of the roof. Set in each pillar was a stone around the size of a fist each one glowed a dull yellow color providing the room with light but at the farthest end was a throne studded with three of these stones one above the head and one below each arm rest and atop the throne sat a tall figure with a slim build and tightly fitting armor that I had never seen the likes of he had long orange hair and pointed ears with a pointed chin slender but deadly was his appearance. I was brought to 12 feet of his throne and then tossed to the ground and then in a soft yet stern voice the figure asked
“Who are you and your people?” I replied with an angry tone
“I am Luthar and we are the mighty and glorious Atherta Federation and these attacks that you have made against us shall not go unpunished release me now or suffer the wrath of the federation forces!” The figure looked down upon me with amusement in his eyes and a slight smirk upon his face as he replied plainly
“Well that would be a miracle as they would have to rise from their graves to fight us as your entire planetary occupation force is dead, well almost you are the last one”….

[Quantumsurfer]

• Concept and Theme: 4/10
• Form: 6/10
• Voice: 7/10
• Style: 9/20
• Presentation: 4/10

Total Judge Score: 26/50

[runnybabbit223]

[quote = "bann154"] Kilometre [/quote]
YEESSSS!
Nice for someone to use something other than ' " or miles. Do you measure your movement in brikwars with Cm?

C&T: 5/10
Form: 7/10
Voice: 7.5/10
Style: 8/20 (+4 for use of word " kilometre")
Presentation: 6/10

TOTAL: 31.5/50

[The Shadowscythe]

• Concept and Theme: 5/10
• Form: 4/10
• Voice: 5/10
• Style: 10/20
• Presentation: 2/10

Total Judge Score: 24/50

Side Notes - Sorry Bann, the idea behind this was really cool - but it really suffers from being one singular chunk of text. It makes the whole thing really, really hard to read as my brain makes me want to jump to the bottom and pass it by. so I had to force myself to try and concentrate just to judge it.

Paragraphs are your friend, my friend.