[BF21] Remnants of a Bygone Era

BrikWars fiction in long-prose form. Trigger warning: Walls of text

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ArchyX74
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[BF21] Remnants of a Bygone Era

Post by ArchyX74 » Mon Nov 15, 2021 4:50 am

First time entering a contest so uh. Yeah. This is new. Anyways enjoy some lore I made for the trattorian stuff I got.

How long had I been roaming these wastes? Days? Weeks? I lost track how long ago? I don’t know, my memory’s been failing me as of late. After all, I am almost entirely on my own. It’s been how long since ragnablok happened? Months? Years? It’s hard to tell. Everything I ever knew collapsed around me. Hordes of greenskins killed everyone I used to know. My friends, my family, my fellow Trattorians, Everyone. Now I’m left wandering through remnants of what used to be. Remnants of my home. Remnants of everyone else’s homes. What used to be Trattoria. I don’t know how much longer I can keep going like this. *sigh* Mechanik Vickers, signing off for now. -End of log-

As the drone stopped recording, it looked to Vickers the same way it had the many times it finished recording a log. This mechanik had brought him back into the world to aid in his survival in these wastelands of what was once a great civilization. Since Trattoria was cancelled, everything its people knew began to collapse around them in ragnablok. Very little remained of what once was. The drone didn’t care about any of this however, it had a new master to follow. And parts to gather to rebuild more drones. “Augh, dammit!” Vickers had just cut himself somehow. The drone quickly retrieved a plaster from the medik pack he had found earlier in the day. “You still have that thing? Damn. Guess I was wrong, it is useful.” The mechanik took the plaster and treated his wound. Afterwards, work resumed, and night eventually fell. Tonight, was going to be particularly stormy.

As the wind beat against the boarded windows, the mechanik sat near the fire, and the drone sat near his incomplete soon-to-be squadmates. “Don’t worry, they’ll be finished soon. Just need more waist and leg parts…” The drone replied with a beep. “Man, I really gotta get you a voicebox, I’ve never understood what your beeps and boops meant.” The drone simply looked back at the workbench. Vickers finished off whatever he was eating and tossed the can in the corner with a clatter. “Well, I’m gonna get some sleep. We’ll get your solar panels out in the morning. Until then you might wanna power down.” The drone nodded and powered down. Confirming the drone was completely powered down, the mechanik made his way to the makeshift bunk he had set up. Despite the wind beating against the shack, Vickers was able to fall asleep no problem.

As the morning came, Vickers awoke to gunfire. The mechanik quickly powered on the drone and ran to the window with a scrap-rifle. Peering through the boards, he saw a figure running from a gang of scrappers. Looking through the scope of his rifle he saw what it was. Another drone. But something was different about this one, it had some kind of thruster pack. Vickers’ drone finally woke up and grabbed its own weapon, the energy bayonet powering on. The drone outside stopped in its tracks and faced the gang. Powering up its thruster pack it leapt into the air, startling the scrappers. “WHAT THE-” The man didn’t get to finish his sentence before his face was pulped by the sole of the drone’s foot. “What in the hell? That a charger?” The mechanik’s drone beeped in confirmation. Both ran outside to aid the lone charger.

The fight was long, the charger had stolen an axe and pistol from the scrappers, and Vickers was wrestling with another when all of a sudden. BANG. The mechanik fell to the ground. Both drones looked towards the noise, the charger tackling the scrapper before it could finish Vickers and pulping them, while the mechanik’s drone ran to his aid. The drone inspected the wound, trying to find something in the medik box and the bodies that could help his mechanik. “Don’t bother. There’s nothing in that box that can help me.” The drone wasn’t listening, he had already administered a healing gel and bandages scavenged from the scrappers’ own medik. “Where the hell did you find those?” The charger came to their side, standing at attention as if waiting for orders. Vickers’ own drone pointed to the dead medik. “Ah. Right. You’re one hell of a partner.” Upon hearing this, the drone looked to Vickers with a look he hadn’t made before. A look of curiosity. “Heh. Looks like somebody’s neural pathways are evolving as expected.” The drone helped the mechanik to stand, and the trio made their way back to the shack.

How long had it been since Ragnablok? Months? Years? Vickers didn’t care anymore. He had company. His drones now had voices. The medik excitedly talking, the charger for whatever reason speaking like a brootal. In time, the other three drones the mechanik was working on would be finished, and a new faction would rise from the ashes of what was once Trattoria. The Trattorian wanderers. How would they fare in this post-ragnablok brikverse? Only time will tell. What can be said for sure though, is that Vickers’ story has only just begun.

Word count:861

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Gorvoslov
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Re: [BF21] Remnants of a Bygone Era

Post by Gorvoslov » Wed Jan 12, 2022 6:13 pm

Remnants of a Bygone Era

Concept and Theme: 10
Form: 7
Voice: 7
Style: 18
Presentation: 8

Nice intro of a small faction, looking forward to some Overwatch photos when built. The opening felt a little awkward, and the wakeup pacing felt odd to me, feels like it could have been a bit more of a sudden punch personally. Thematically it worked quite nicely, I am a sucker for post-apocalyptic scavengers.

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ArchyX74
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Re: [BF21] Remnants of a Bygone Era

Post by ArchyX74 » Wed Jan 12, 2022 6:19 pm

I shall make note to improve in future. Also, got a bunch of pics for my tratt stuff in the armoury (right here https://brikwars.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=18619), when there's a sizable chunk of units the overwatch will be made.

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silasw
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Re: [BF21] Remnants of a Bygone Era

Post by silasw » Thu Jan 13, 2022 9:47 pm

Remnants of a Bygone Era

Concept and Theme: 8
Form: 6
Voice: 8
Style: 15
Presentation: 8

Fun story to read! I really felt the post-apocalyptic setting coming through. Also I feel really interested in where your lore will go from here.

The small criticisms I have are:
Would have liked to see some more detailed descriptions of things like the drone and the shack where the scene takes place. I was surprised to find out the drone had feet, since I didn't look at the models beforehand.
The all-caps sound effects/shouted dialogue is not the best technical choice IMO. Really minor thing though.
Image

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Kommander Ken
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Re: [BF21] Remnants of a Bygone Era

Post by Kommander Ken » Fri Jan 14, 2022 8:31 pm

Concept and Theme: 8
Form: 7
Voice: 7
Style: 17
Presentation: 8


BROOTAL DRONE!!!!11one

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