In reverse order once more:
TastySkippy123:
Tell me about it. I was
livid; that junker was purchased instead of the LEGO submarine set I wanted; it took 7 year old me over an hour to assemble it correctly. It only took me a few seconds to chuck it across the room as it disintegrated in my hands, and go back to my Fort Legorado to fight off some space pirates

Which by the way, I should have bought more of, because I truly love having Civil War soldiers. I am a student of history though, so that was bound to attract my attention.
Dilanski:
-Champions sound interesting; I have been considering adding some sort of minor Hero (lieutenant) that doesn't get Cranky when sharing the field with other lieutenants, but is also very underwhelming as a Hero. A solid middle ground between mini and Hero classes.
-Yes, that is a prime example of an unfair fight. Again though, there are ways to balance it, even at that stage. For example; your 20 medieval men are defending, and so have the advantage of a castle, and the height it gives. You could easily claim that the star wars guys count as unarmored against any pointy weapons; body armor is meant to stop blasters, not knives, and arrows go through it like you were wearing cheese. I don't think it's as unfair as you make it, but I do get your point. I don't think it should be about "who's collected the most Lego"; it even says explicitly in the book "bring enough to share", and I almost live by that rule, as the sole owner of LEGOs any longer in my friend circle. And while people may have themed armies, for myself at least, I love the randomness of it all. I have blaster-wielding skeletons riding alongside civilians with machine guns. So facing me, at least, would never yield something as unfair and boring as "all 30 of my minis have blasters, power armor, grenades, and are well-trained. They are backed up by six advanced star-fighters. I'm going to mess your castle up". Yawn, count me out. You might as well have just gone and played Space Marines. At least then my Orks could stomp you
I'm not necessarily here to re-enact the 2nd siege of Carthage, down to the individual minutes. But, I do want something more satisfying than bowmen and blasters exchanging fire with the exact same stats. Which the 2005 seems to solve neatly. Long and short range, beautiful, you don't need anything else. It was really the "everything is 10 inches" that was bothering me. Why did I even bother assembling the elite snipers then, if they're no more threatening than the enemy musketmen?
Stubby:
-I apologize, I suppose that was rather vague. By "serious" I did not mean setting; I love the idea that the minis are fearless psychotic killers; I took that idea and ran with it, I'm never giving it up. In fact I have a few ideas that will make it more entertaining. And I didn't mean ultra-realistic rules for every drop of blood, to make sure it lands on target. I also love the rather arbitrary decision-making regarding blood and corpses; it's precisely what I do with my 40k Orks anyway. No, serious meant "more work than a few weeks was put into it", which was the impression I got initially, that this was someone's side hobby, and that I was going to have to go through myself and make a 'proper' rulebook (as I have done with a few other games, I'm nothing if not a dedicated wargamer). And with you mentioning it lower, yes, I do believe I've been reading the Quikwar versions; the rulebook is vastly more complex, takes away most of my objections, and I'm loving the 2005 edition so far, almost through the Hero section.
-If you're looking for a 'serious' game, the more historically-demanding the better. I can't remember what it was called, but there was an Iron Age wargame that I played years ago, that had rules for every conceivable possibility. It took several centuries to actually finish, but it was one of the more entertaining games I've played, if only because I could expect my troops to carry on realistically. Coming from Warhammer, I'm certainly used to rules that make no real-life sense (a tiny explosion on the 1st floor of a concrete bunker interrupts your super-soldier on the 3rd. Sure GW, I guess we'll roll with that concept.). I will see if I still have the old rulebook for it. And yes, you are correct, that is the point of wargaming. Don't worry, I'm not here to change the slaughter of minis for our own personal amusement; in fact I don't think I'm capable of stopping the wholesale murder of my Guardsmen

I just want the slaughter to
feel like a slaughter, and not like I'm just fighting, to put it in a Warhammer metaphor, infantry-heavy Guard, vs infantry-heavy Guard. Same stats, same everything, and everything coming down to pure luck is a quick way for me to lose interest. However, again, with the real rulebooks I'm now reading, a lot of these objections no longer exist, or are otherwise moot. I am especially excited to try out Heroes properly, I believe we were playing with them completely wrong.
-Yup. I did read the Quikwars. I'm going to be a great Lego commander lol.
"Sir the map is upside down"
YOU'RE upside down trooper! Now enough of your sass, take this satchel of explos-.... cake. It's cake. Run to that wall and throw the cake against it!
"Sir? Cake? I don't under-"
JUST DO IT!
-I have not come across super-natural dice, I will look into that. I absolutely LOVE the Fumbles system. By the way... is the Brikwars logo copyrighted? I actually have contacts all over the world for manufacturing, and the mention of solid gold dice for Heroes got me thinking of making a few out of actual gold, and I wanted to make the 1 the Brikwar skull instead (Fumbles are often going to equal death for my Heroes. If it's not a Feat that can get you killed, it's not a Feat worth doing!). Yes, I do actually have connections with a gold foundry in India

So if anyone else is interested in this, I would be proud to represent the community in some sort of crowdfunding campaign. Not sure what you'd call it, frankly, just an idea worth mentioning.
-Huh, I would think they would be. Certainly not game changers, but a +1 to hit modifier on my Imperial Guardsmen, and I'm dancing around the table with glee. And a -1 modifier to enemy power armor? Are you KIDDING?! I'm popping champagne in celebration, my Guardsmen are dancing and kissing girls like the war's already won; we might actually KILL a Space Marine this turn! That's like, 60 Guardsmen worth of murder. The half-dice concept is interesting, what would cause you to lose half a dice? More importantly, I assume you just ignore half-dice in game, unless they make one complete dice?
-I'm certainly noticing a lot of changes, book to book, so I'm going to go through each version and cherry-pick the things I like into a new full ruleset. Should I name it 2016?
An apology to all Founders for the implied insult, I promise it wasn't. Silly is not a bad goal. Please don't invade my Brikkish Castle Warhead/Manly Santa/Undead Lincoln. Or do! My minis are psychotic killers who've spent years in storage, and they're starting to look at me with the same glint in their eyes as when they look at an unarmed horse (the look says 'mmmm fresh meat'). For my own safety, we should do battle as soon as possible. Thank the universe it's a Legendary Use Rating to kill a human. I don't think any of my minis are up to that.
On that note; is anyone interested in a campaign? I've seen more than one remote campaign go on, and I'm curious how it works. Do you just use the DM's massive collection of LEGO? Does everyone mail in their armies for the duration of the campaign? I'd like to mention that I don't mind that at all; I'd even be comfortable playing as the DM, once I stop reading Quikwars thinking it's the full game
-I would define warhammer as a relatively serious wargame. A fantasy setting it might be, but it doesn't allow a whole lot of leeway for players to make up ridiculous settings. Again, not that ridiculous is bad. But it does lend itself to unfair fights, which in Warhammer translates to "you're going to spend the next 5 hours absolutely hating the game". That's normal for wargaming right? The bubbling rage in your gut?
Thank you for the replies everyone. I'm sure I would have gotten around to the full rules eventually on my own, but this certainly is faster!