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Planetflight 02 (Writing Exercise 02)

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:44 pm
by Olothontor
"Get me the damn files!" Maris shouted at the computer terminal, her face blood red in fury. Her team was standing behind her, some peering over her shoulder, others simply milling about nervously. All of them jumped when Maris punched the terminal's screen. She let out a string of curses and stomped away to sterilize her newly bloodied hand.

Maris's team crowded around the terminal, attempting to figure out what had caused her sudden outburst. Through the cracks and shattered glass, they could make out the insignia of the Galactic Empire, and a notice that "the file keywords you have searched for do not exist". Nervous murmurs spread through them. One member, Djorn, had the audacity to pose a dangerous question.

"How do we know it's F.I.R.E?"

"Every last one of those shuttles had the red stripe. You can't tell me that's not F.I.R.E!" Tannis jumped up immediately to confront him. Djorn gave him a skeptical grin.

"The Galactic Empire is vast, Tannis, you can't expect a lone red stripe to be tell-tale to any one faction in particular. Besides, Earth is gone, even if it did exist at one point." Several nodded in agreement, and Tannis shot them a glare.

"Who else would do this? These plans have been in circulation for two years, Djorn. Two frakkin' years in secret government files. F.I.R.E. would be exactly the kind of nation that would hack into those undetected. They did that all the time in the war!"

"That proves nothing! You can't seriously explain to me... " Djorn went silent as Maris reappeared, glaring at the two of them. Tannis and Djorn both stepped back, and the rest of the team gave her a wide birth. Maris cleared her throat.

"I'm not letting those fascist bastards get away unscathed. I'm going after that gun if it'll be the death of me. I say we build a ship for ourselves and follow them. They cna't have gone too far, it takes a lot fo fuel to do a bombing run. We hunt the down, and at the very least take what is ours back. Anyone who agrees, follow me. The rest... go rot in hell." Maris then turned and walked back down the hallway, towards the warehouse. The team exchanged looks. Tannis stepped forward and, with one final look around, followed Maris down the hall. Several more stepped forward, but the rest stood silently, the fear of death gripping their minds and keeping them still.

***

Cane flicked a switch, accessing the terminal. He typed in a serial code, and almost a immediately a clouded face buzzed into view.

"We've got the weapons you requested. They're secured in shuttle 409. The escort is heading back to you."

"Good... " the figure intoned statically. "I look forward to them. Land yourselves on my pad. We're located over what used to be North America. You'll see us." Cane nodded curtly.

"And Cane? Make sure they get here in one piece." Cane watched the figure motion behind him, and saw another large figure appear, brandishing a wickedly serrated knife. Cane nodded again, knowing the master was true t his word.

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:31 pm
by benkim123
Awesome but I think Maris and her team should follow the F.I.R.E secretly. The F.I.R.E have valuable information, they would kill Maris' team easily.

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:33 pm
by Olothontor
I have a plan, don't worry :)

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:34 pm
by benkim123
This reminds me of Star Wars: A New Hope.

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:44 pm
by Olothontor
Heh. I can see the connection there.

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:56 pm
by Popchik
Sounds good.

Would the name "Tannis" be inspired by a Dragonlance character by any chance?

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 4:24 pm
by Olothontor
Uh, no. Although Dragonlance is totally awesome.

It actually came from Song of Ice and Fire, with Tannis Baratheon.

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:40 pm
by birdman
Dragonlance rocks.

Your writing is great, however...

This entire planet is putting in vast resources to steal...
...a minigun with exploding bullets and different fire modes? wouldn't they just make their own?

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:22 pm
by Olothontor
It's more than just that one weapon.

You'll see.

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:46 am
by benkim123
They are fascists they got a lot of money they can make a lot of these weapons.

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:29 pm
by massacre
I have a question!
Is this futuristic or not...... cause it's in space but they're still using guns, so is it like the future but with guns still? Or what?

Also, the bombing run and the chase would be a sweet brikspace battle.

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 8:05 pm
by Olothontor
Umm. I don't know. Just... a sci-fi setting.

And yes. Yes it would.

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:02 pm
by halo 3000
Guns meaning firearms or guns meaning projectile weaponry?

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 7:13 am
by massacre
Firearms. and I am about to do that Brikspace battle right now.

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:13 am
by Olothontor
Awesome, go for it.

(Well, I mean, you're probably already done, but whatever)

Can't wait to see a report!