Jolly Green Mech and the Looters: Silent-Sigfig
The Jolly Green mech starts the turn with a feat to tear the tower out at the roots.
Unfortunately the he critically fails the feat and the tower collapses onto him, covering him with rubble and not even managing to hurt the Venetian on the tower.
The chainsaw raptor and the chrome bat man kill the trooper holding the hostage.
Most of the rest of the team heads towards the grey mansion, climbing the slope to the doorway.
The Sniper takes aim at his opposite across the map, the Fire Sniper...
Well versed in sniper vs sniper, the Fire Sniper puts down his sniper and switches out for something in his pack..
His flamethrower! He begins setting his sniping post on fire.
Fully fireproofed, the Fire Sniper retakes his position in the tower, knowing that the smoke and flames will obscure the Looter Sniper's shot at him totally.
The rest of the team advances and fires at the Bandstand, although the Plasma launcher and the AK hit successfully, the Bartender's SN die Beer Shield block the attacks completely.
Angry Warhead: Brikguy
Warhead decides that he should change his looks, and begins tearing off his beard to summon some undead.
However, a stronger necrotic presence messes with his control of the undead, he only manages to light his beard on fire and summon a pair of pizza men, one of whom is a berserker.
Prinz Karl “Gustav”: Silverdream
The Jaeger continues to head towards the front.
Venice Away: Quadruple.Digits
The APC backs over Captain Red's disrupted form, pinning him under it and knocking the boxes away.
The pilot takes a shot and blows a hole through a flamethrower heavy unit with the APC's cannon.
The Band keeps on playing, rolling so well that the other members of the band gain inexplicable Metal hairdos to aid their playing.
They roll so well in fact (two crits) that an agent from the Recording Industry comes to sign them for a 3 album deal and a tour.
One of the nearby troops takes up the roll of manager and works out the nitty gritty details of the contract, making sure none of the candy bowls in the dressing rooms have red M&Ms etc.
The officer on the hover bike does a full auto drive by on Warhead, missing one shot and not killing the redshirt Pizza boy on the second.
Captain Slab charges into battle with a small group of redshirts, murdering another heavy with Natty Slice.
Captain Red’s Revolutionary Red Army: Piltogg
Itchy and Ginger get to the top of the APC battlements, Itchy notices something interesting sitting in the corner..
Captain Red shakes himself from disruption, getting ready to preform a heroic feat. His OTC revs...
And he saws through the floor of the APC, getting into the inside and breaking down the door! The interior is now open for the rebels to seize.
Ellie Driver picks the Hostage back up, reactivating the 6 inch no-shoot zone.
Bartender: Bfenix
Although he fails his mosh-pit feat, his playing causes the band further transformations, rendering the singer and the bass player shirtless. The singer begins in on the chorus, putting his soul into the screaming.
Venice Home: Alex
The buggy driver hits a button on the inside of the K9 van, triggering the noise of gears grinding.
... Followed by the reveal of 4 size 2 rockets inside the back of the van.
He triggers them all at once and they speed towards the APC's now open back, straight at Captain Red!
failing his redshirt roll, Captain Red bails 3 inches, just enough to avoid being killed outright, but not enough to not get damaged, he loses 2 out of 3 HP due to a shitty armor roll.
One of the rockets goes straight through the area that Captain Red vacated, killing the pilot of the APC and totally wrecking the controls. Score one for teamkilling.
To add insult to injury, the other rockets destroy both the track coverings and the tracks themselves for the APC, killing the cyclops sheep that was nearby.
The buggyman then gets back in the buggy.
The remaining troops arm themselves.
Others head to the front, taking positions at the windows.
The Military Neckbeard realizes he is out of both minerals and vespine gas, not to mention he requires additional pylons.
To remedy this he deploys a mining robot to collect more minerals from... somewhere?
Team Sheep: Lawmaster
The Sheep notices something on top of the disabled APC.
It's the severed head of Zombie Lincoln! The artifact his team has been searching for!
The Fez Sheep, hearing the psychic baaaas of his fellow, leaps into action.
He boosts himself with his SN dice into the air, butt-jetpacking his way to the APC's battlements.
Using his momentum and cloven hooves, he knocks the head off Itchy and claims the head.
Levitating the head into the air, he begins an arcane ritual...
He psychically corrupts the necrotic power of Lincoln, warping it into a woolly form and beginning... THE SHEEPOCALYPSE!
He starts off strong with his power, summoning 7 Eldrich Sheeplings into service with the stats of normal sheep.
Meanwhile in the Medical wing...
Il Duchessa: "Ow ow ow ow ow ow, fuck this hurts."
Doctor Almagna: "Well you're giving birth to what's likely to be the next Rambo, I wouldn't be surprised if he's made a Fallopian flamethrower from scratch in there.
Prinz Karl "Gustav": "Dear you're crushing my hand, if you don't stop squeezing I swear it's going to..."
POP!
Prinz Karl: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
Il Duchessa: "SHIT, sorry dear! Ow ow ow."
Doctor Almagna: "Looks like you've got seriously high blood pressure from that geyser there, I'll write a prescription once the baby's delivered.
Prinz Karl: "OW OW MY HAND!"
Il Duchessa: "Sorry!"
OVERVIEWS
But wait!
A noise comes from the deep, there's blood in the water...
And of course, blood in the water attracts a fuckton of sharks.
Prof Landshark: "IT'S SHARK WEEK!"
Faction Unlocked! Prof Landshark and the Legshark Brigade: Theblackdog
The mechanics shop seems quiet...
Most Mafia hideouts are.
Secret Faction Unlocked! Space Mafia Plague Squad: Vami_IV
SEND ORDERS!
lol j/k
