Filthville - BrikWaRPG: Stubby style - Turn 1

[ikensall]

Big Bethany McMelons will: fill up the glass in my hand from the beer keg (if it isn't already filled), walk to Leechfingers' horse and pick up the torch next to the door on the way. If I still have an action, we'll give the horse a little bit to drink from the glass, he must be very thirsty with that fat ass armoured guy sitting on him all day...

[Zupponn]

Bitchtits will go into her hut and stir the contents of her cauldron with her stick while mumbling about trouble and toils and cackling every once in a while.

[Vami IV]

fish. preferably for something shiny. like a ring.

[Duerer]

Zörgüühl will try to impress the landlord and his guards with some phat metal riffs (song may be chosen by the host).

[Vami IV]

Zörgüühl will try to impress the landlord and his guards with some phat metal riffs (song may be chosen by the host).

tap my foot to the beat of the METAL while he plays and I fish.

[lawmaster]

Beg a tax collector for an object, return it to them as tax payment.

[Keldoclock]

Biceps will grab another piece of metal if he can, then try to finish up those Manacles he's been working on.

[lawmaster]

Also pull the cart I guess?

[Arkbrik]

Ok, I've waited long enough for Scratch's orders. Anyone who's not one of the other nine players can post orders for Apsalar Notathief the Thief.

[Scratch]

Oh shit, totally forgot this was happening, my bad.

Apsalar should scavenge in that little hut for items that are more valuable/deadly than her key.

[Arkbrik]

Turn 1

Hella Dumb - Legomc



Hella spots something more interesting than a frog. A crab.



He wades into the river and picks it up. (UR 3, damage 1d6-1)

Cletus the Watcher of Potatoes - RedRover



Cletus gets to work on his field, harvesting a couple pumpkins.



He hands them over to Lardo Leechfingers.

"Two pumpkins. Very good, peasant!" Leechfingers says. "Only eight more things to pay your tax!"

Buster Nose - lordintype



Buster drops his broom and goes into the inn.



He picks up three drinks. Balancing a glass on your head is pretty tricky (UR 3) but is a typical innkeeper action, so Buster has a Skill of 1d6 for it. He succeeds, no problem.



Buster delivers the drinks to Leechfingers and his men.

"Thanks for the refreshments, peasant", Leechfingers says. "Of course, they won't count as tax. We will be drinking them here, so we can't deliver them to the lord!"

Big Bethany McMelons - ikensall



Bethany walks out of the inn, grabbing a torch on the way. (UR 3, damage 1d4 fire)



She proceeds to get Leechfingers' horse drunk.

Getting drunk gives you a Skill of 1d4 BUT with bonus dice if you roll a 4. With a Submissive creature like the horse, the rider has to roll Skill and beat a Skill roll from the horse to make it obey. Otherwise it will just behave drunkenly.

Only creatures whose Skill is 1d6 or higher can get drunk to begin with. Civilians only drink to dull the pain of their boring lives.

Bitchtits - Zupponn



Bitchtits stirs her cauldron.

"Trouble and toil, bubble and boil... Kaaa-hahahahaha-haaa!"

Interesting.

Helga - Vami IV



Helga fishes (UR 3) with her Fisherwoman Skill of 1d6. And rolls really well!



She hooks a shiny sword! (UR 3, damage 1d6+2) Someone must have forgotten it on the bottom of the river.

Zörgüühl the Deströyer - Duerer



Zörgüühl busts out some metal on his lute (UR 3), picking a song suitable for tax day. With his Bard Skill of 1d6 he passes the check easily.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38-yf6IWdBo



"Great music, peasant!" Leechfingers says. "Sadly we can't pay you for it or have it count as tax payment. But it's really great exposure for you! You could put this on your resume!"

Pinckney - lawmaster



Pinckney grabs the cart from the alley and then goes to beg from the tax collector.



However with her low Move she can't get quite close enough. She can still try to beg (UR 3), but with some Out Of Range penalties (-3). Hopefully her Beggar Skill of 1d6 can handle it!



Natural 1! Critical failure!

"Sir, spare a penny for a poor - "

"You insolent peasant! Are you trying to beg from your lord's own reeve? I'll cut you down for that!"

Biceps McGrump - Keldoclock



Biceps works on his anvil (UR 3) and with his Blacksmith Skill of 1d6 he finishes up some manacles. (UR 3, damage 1d6-1 OR no damage but constrains the target's hands)



He puts another piece of metal on the anvil. There is one more in his supply.

Apsalar Notathief - Scratch



Apsalar sneaks into Cletus' house.



She drops her dirk and grabs a shovel and a broom. (Both UR 3, damage 1d6-1)

NPCs



Retaining control of his drunken horse, Leechfingers attacks Pinckney.



Though he misses with his sword, the horse stomps her to death.



"Now where were we? You have delivered two items as tax. Three turns to bring us eight more!"

Meanwhile his two guards get drunk. (Skill 1d4 with Bonus Dice) Leechfingers was too busy killing Pinckney to get drunk this turn.

Respawn phase



Since everyone is still Rank 0, Pinckney is okay, having crawled off behind the cart. She can act normally next turn.

Overviews







Stats

Cletus the Watcher of Potatoes the Farmer - RedRover
Kills: 0 - Deaths: 0
Helga the Fisherwoman - Vami IV
Kills: 0 - Deaths: 0
Biceps McGrump the Blacksmith - Keldoclock
Kills: 0 - Deaths: 0
Buster Nose the Innkeeper - lordintype
Kills: 0 - Deaths: 0
Big Bethany McMelons the Barmaid - ikensall
Kills: 0 - Deaths: 0
Zörgüühl the Deströyer the Bard - Duerer
Kills: 0 - Deaths: 0
Pinckney the Beggar - lawmaster
Kills: 0 - Deaths: 1
Hella Dumb the Village Idiot - Legomc
Kills: 0 - Deaths: 0
Bitchtits the Wise Woman - Zupponn
Kills: 0 - Deaths: 0
Apsalar Notathief the Thief - Scratch
Kills: 0 - Deaths: 0

Details & equipment:

Spoiler

Show

Cletus the Watcher of Potatoes the Farmer - RedRover
Rank 0 (Civilian)
Equipment: Tool (UR 3, damage 1d6-1)

Helga the Fisherwoman - Vami IV
Rank 0 (Civilian)
Equipment: Tool (UR 3, damage 1d6-1), heavy weapon (UR 3, damage 1d6-2)

Biceps McGrump the Blacksmith - Keldoclock
Rank 0 (Civilian)
Equipment: Tool (UR 3, damage 1d6-1), manacles (UR 3, damage 1d6-1 OR no damage but constrains the target's hands)

Buster Nose the Innkeeper - lordintype
Rank 0 (Civilian)
Equipment: None

Big Bethany McMelons the Barmaid - ikensall
Rank 0 (Civilian)
Equipment: Tool (UR 3, damage 1d6-1), torch (UR 3, damage 1d4 fire)

Zörgüühl the Deströyer the Bard - Duerer
Rank 0 (Civilian)
Equipment: Tool (UR 3, damage 1d6-1)

Pinckney the Beggar - lawmaster
Rank 0 (Civilian)
Equipment: None

Hella Dumb the Village Idiot - Legomc
Rank 0 (Civilian)
Equipment: Two tools (UR 3, damage 1d6-1)

Bitchtits the Wise Woman - Zupponn
Rank 0 (Civilian)
Equipment: Tool (UR 3, damage 1d6-1)

Apsalar Notathief the Thief - Scratch
Rank 0 (Civilian)
Equipment: Two tools (UR 3, damage 1d6-1)

Post your Turn 2 orders!

[Duerer]

Continue playing for one of the drunken guards and maybe one of them might be friendly enough to hand me one of their weapons, then.

[lawmaster]

Pick my begging cup up and beg again. We beg, we die, we beg again.

[Vami IV]

Ever the sly fisherwoman, I wander out of sight to hide my badass new weapon. With it, I can finally get out of this shithole town and learn a real craft: smiting people with a sword!

also protect it fervantly from any would be sword-snatchers. As a Fisherwoman used to handling long wooden rods I should have a good grasp of how a polearm (that is to say, my fishing pole) works

[RedRover]

Keep harvesting and giving pumpkins, also dig for the buried treasure I put in my field.