And now onto our main story of the hour, the former mafia protectorate of Emeria has devolved into civil unrest and widespread violence after less than 2 months of de-facto independence following the mafia forgetting they owned Emeria. Since then the newly formed government has split nearly down the middle into two factions. The right-wing monarchist faction, supporting the Major-turned-Prince Romano, is led by General Vivian J. Franco. Under her direction they have begun to call themselves Gamermerians, allying themselves with other Gamer-led governments such as 8tron, a former member of the 4tron collective, and OASIS. The slightly less right-wing, but also still monarchist faction, supporting the Archduchess Isabella, is led by Anita Alcalá-Zamora. They have defined themselves as the newly resurgent Femerian Fempire. Now let's look at the situation on the ground with our battlefield correspondent, Slab Squatthrust. How's it going Slab?
Thanks Big, it's near constant fighting down here, the Femerians have the advantage in the eastern reaches of the country, with their headquarters in Bilbaotaku, and the Gamermerians hold the center around their provisional capitol at Cadiz-in-Action, the front goes back and forth almost daily. The Femerians have the advantage of a much larger platform from which to bombard the Gamermerians, but the Gamermerians have an exceptional intelligence department, able to find the locations, or "dox" of the enemy's leaders nearly instantly and use gorilla warfare to effectively harass enemy flanks. Back to you Big.
Stay safe Slab, the unrest began when a group of generals under Franco accused the provisional government of being a cutout for Venetian and Peach interests, shoehorning in a female heir to the monarchy in an attempt to quote "undermine the role of the male and phallus in the governance of Emeria." unquote. Clashes began between supporters first through social media and then openly on the streets after that. General Anita united her forces, saying that the opposition was, quote "a bunch of whiny babies who are standing in the way of the femocracy and the bright future of the Third Way." unquote. Additionally, the Gamermerians accuse the Femerians of conspiring with un-emerian powers like minorities and sicilians to gain control of the country, while the Femerians accuse the Gamermerians of accepting aid from 8tron's leader, Literally Piltogg, and recruits from OASIS. When pressed for comment about the situation, General Vivian stated: "It's all about ethics in toy wargaming boards."
Although this is a turn for the worse for an already unstable regime who has already been roughly been abused by our own glorious imperialist power, and doesn't seem to be on its way to recovery. However, there is one bright spot, despite all the violence and uproar, analysts suspect it will fall into obscurity and be mainly forgotten within the next few weeks. That's the news, have a good night, and praise the great leader, Doge Vince.













