Turn 4
The cannon and ballista reposition, and several crossbowman take aim alongside them.
The combined fire tears the gatehouse to pieces.
The oil crew is similarly obliterated.
The axemen, now in the clear, take turns beating on the gate. They do three points of grinding damage.
The other infantry advance and start hacking at the stones.
Mathias, ever the kind and wisdomous fig, shouts up at Anselme, his voice dripping with mockery: "Boo hoo Help us, our enemies are so numerous and powerful mimimimimimi!"
Anselme, so savagely mocked and mortally offended, is taken away on a douche canoe.
"Wait, what?" he says, shocked and dismayed.
He's high above the battle now.
Infantry are ready to mount the siege tower once again.
'
With the sound of mystical magiks a series of bricks manifest to stabilize the tower.
Of course, this could only be done by the Brytish wizard....
Which means the fire orb is doomed to crash back to earth.
It barbecues these defenders so bad they become ash covered off-brand skeletons. They also die.
The last armored guard is slain by two vicious strikes.
They take up a strong position on the wall, ready for a fight from either direction.
The crossbowman both crit-fail and drop their bows.
"My lady! What are you doing!" the bannerman shouts hopelessly, but Jeanne cannot hear him because she is cursing in her helmet, the coarse language echoing in the steel.
"You starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock-fish! O for breath to utter what is like thee! you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bowcase; you vile standing-tuck!"
Jeanne, Peer of Touraine, hurtles off the donjon to intercept Wymer.
They crash softly, delicately even (daintily, if you will), and begin to fight.
Though they are joined swiftly by Jeanne's guard. The levy swordsmen prepare to defend the gate. Wymer is wounded in the melee, and he loses 1 HP (1 remains).
Atop the walls, these archers turn their foe into a pincushion.
He falls over the battlements onto the tree, his blood flowing down the leaves in full view of his countrymen who, no doubt, are beginning to rethink their involvement.
Anselme discovers he can steer the douche canoe.
Not well, however.
He flips from the douche canoe.
He materializes on the other side of the battlefield, a la the 1979 smash hit video game
Asteroids, disrupted but unharmed. The douche canoe vanishes as mysteriously as it arrived.
Tomoe flips and zips up to the top of the wall.
She flips. She zips. I dare say she even spins.
She pushes off the unarmed crossbowmen.
They splatter violently on the ground.
The samurai make their way toward the rear gatehouse.
One of them climbs the tower.
Special delivery!
The Fyrthings land on the ground, narrowly avoiding damage. They slay one guard.
Though one is swiftly butchered by a mace.
"Hey!" a Fyrthing complains when he is engaged by the samurai.
"Take that!"
"That'll teach you to attack me, the pride of--" he continues his soliloquy, describing his identify and upbringing in excruciating detail that would make even Miguel de Cervantes scoff, not to mention modern legends like George R.R. Martin or Mike Rayhawk.
Overwatch.
Send orders for Turn 5!
Kills:
Bryton: 10 (1 Benny in reserve)
Touraine: 6
Shogunate: 4
Fyrth: 2
