Time: 04/07/G.R. 2015, 9:02 pm
???: I have carried out the task, Chief Comptroller.
Chief Comptroller: Excellent. I saw everything through KEYNES. You even aimed for the chest rather than the head.
???: Speaking of KEYNES, I have already initiated the Paperclip protocol as you wished.
Chief Comptroller: It amuses me how the scientists think they are in charge, much like the play of little children. Dr. Liang figured it out in the end, but she was too late to unravel the Foucault’s pendulum that we had wrapped around her for three years.
Chief Comptroller: How do you think Siri hacked into Vice President Chutpone’s account so easily? Even with her background in computer science, she could have never cracked the system and sent that communiqué...unless someone did it for her.
???: Sire, did Siri not turn out to out to be an inadvertence to the Trattorian economy? I killed her myself for that charge.
Chief Comptroller: The myopia that characterizes the economists of the United Systems Alliance led to their downfall in 2004. Siri was not a miscalculation, but rather a calculated cost. Through Siri we managed to covertly divert funding to expand the navy.
Chief Comptroller: More importantly, Siri crystallized public sentiment into one easily manipulated autocrat and nudged the Council’s selection of Chief Scientist from Dr. Pang to Dr. Liang. For years the Science Department had grown proud, and Dr. Liang’s failure fractured and humbled it. From their fiasco we harvested insights, technologies, weapons. Especially weapons, designs that might never have been commissioned were it not for the needs of the Trattorian Recovery Force. And the sudden loss of the Council’s quorum forced the Legislature to step in as a nominating body, allowing us an avenue for unprecedented manipulation of the Science Department’s leadership.
Chief Comptroller: Unfortunately, even Laplace’s demon would overlook certain future events not from incompetence, but rather from the inherent uncertainty of the universe. Only one issue remains from this plan-
Chief Comptroller: The Space Mafia.
lol j/k
