Battle in the Chat: MedEvuul Fun

[cleanupcrew]

Medivo, ???


Dr. Miyako: Welcome to the planet Medivo, TRFs. I'm here to test my new device which should cancel Medivo's anti-technology field according to the principles of the Theory of Everything. Unfortunately, it only seems to work on contact- when it's time to leave, I'll touch this to your and my own teleporters and we'll get back to Soledad.


Dr. Miyako: Wait, what are those? I thought Medivo was a Trattorian state secret, how do other star nations know about this place?


Fenstermacher: Alright, Bavarian Survey Corps. The Magicians Alliance has expressed interest in using magic to either conquer Medivo or make it into a tourist destination. Given its anti-technology field, it should be the ultimate secure magic testing ground.


Scratch: Alright International Woodland Outlaws, let's go find something interesting to do today.

Orkboyz: mgb


Bavarians: Silverdream


Trattorians: colette


International Woodland Outlaws: Scratch


Crownies: Theblackdog

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Orkboyz

The orkz work together to fling Spearboy onto the wall.


Spearboy falls flat on his face, however


The warlord moves towards the Crownie knight, but his armor weighs him down.

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Bavarians

The Bavarians move up. Fenstermacher volleys a magical attack, to no effect, against the hard, stone castle walls.


The Survey Corps then launches their 3D Maneuvering Gear hooks into the wall.

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International Woodland Outlaws

Scratch's sidekicks move up.


Scratch uses his rum-smuggling skills to transform his alcohol into a Size 3 Molotov cocktail.


Scratch and Maid Marion fire on the TRF operative, but he survives.

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Trattorians

The two TRFs fire on the outlaws but do no damage.


Dr. Miyako: Eugh, I've never fired a gun before. It's so distasteful.


She kills the outlaw Maid Marion.
Dr. Miyako: Not that I have any objection to killing worthless minifigs, but it's such a dirty and impolite action to partake in. The proper way is to delegate the dirty work to a less sophisticated underling, if only they were competent.

[cleanupcrew]

Crownies

The Crownie knight's horse backs up, preparing a charge.


It then knocks over and tramples the ork warlord, disrupting but failing to kill him.


The other crownies try to sever the 3DMG hooks. One succeeds, but the other crit-fails and drops his spear over the wall.


The third crownie readies the catapult.


Somehow, by a miracle, the primitive medevuul soldier manages to not only hit, but kill (again) the powerful Bavarian mage Fenstermacher.

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Orkboyz

The Ork Warlord grabs the hoof of the Crownie Knight's horse.


He then knocks off the knight and swings the horse into the air...


...and beats the knight to death with his own horse.


The other orkboyz climb up the 3DMG chains and slaughter the crownies on the wall.

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Bavarians

Both Survey Corps members pull on the chain to knock over the wall.


They succeed, crushing the Ork Spearboy and disrupting every other Ork and Crownie unit.

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Outlaws

Scratch throws his Molotov into the pile of disrupted bodies.


He thus manages to singlehandedly kill every Medivo unit on the field.

Crownies Eliminated.
Orkboyz Eliminated.


He then picks up Maid Marion's bow and dual-wields Medivo-style against the Trattorians, downing a TRF.

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Trattorians

The Trattorians fire on Outlaw King Scratch.


A dedicated outlaw redshirt saves Scratch, however.

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Bavarians

The Bavarians sprint towards the Trattorians.

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Outlaws

Outlaw King Scratch attempts to matrix-sidestep and shoot the Trattorians in slow-motion.


He fails, however, and shoots himself in the knee, thus precluding him from being an adventurer.

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Trattorians

Dr. Miyako: You know, that feeling I get when I hold and fire a gun?
TRF Operative: Yeah?


Dr. Miyako: I really don't like it. As a functionally immortal Trattorian Citizen, I never think about death, and I certainly don't plan to begin doing so now.

Bavarians Eliminated.

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Outlaws

Space Mafia takes aim at the remaining TRF.


He crit-fails and drops the crossbow, however.


He then runs at Dr. Miyako, intent on picking up an OTC and slashing her head off with it.


He forgot about his wounded knee, however, and trips, falling helpless before Dr. Miyako.

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Trattorians

Dr. Miyako: Well, if it isn't the so-called Mobfather genuflecting before me. I would say it's an honor, but underworld scum like you lack a picogram of honor.


Dr. Miyako: I hate you so much, as does every Trattorian. I know you're too clever to actually be lying before me, that you're some, clever charade, in all likelihood. Nonetheless, I spit even at your effigy.


Dr. Miyako: Of course, I won't shoot you. Killing is for plebeians, after all.


Dr. Miyako: TRF, execute him.
TRF Operative: Yes, doctor!


Dr. Miyako: I think we've seen enough.


Dr. Miyako: I will touch the experiment to your teleporter. Proceed to Soledad.


Dr. Miyako: What value does the Science Department see in such a wretched, forsaken place anyway?




Crownie: What's this? Doesn't do anything...maybe I should present to Lord Brag for his perusal and examination.