[BF19] The Sound and The Fury

BrikWars fiction in long-prose form. Trigger warning: Walls of text

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Venge
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[BF19] The Sound and The Fury

Post by Venge » Sat Dec 28, 2019 12:52 am

The gunships roared overhead, the thunder of their engines pounding in the Warking's eardrums despite his heavy helmet. The sound of their bombing was like a thousand hurricanes roaring bloody murder, and the flashes of light that exploded into the night sky lit up the world as bright as high noon.

And it was glorious.

The fighters screamed above, howling on like a thousand bloodthirsty demons, and the chatter of their guns was like a thousand rabid squirrels gnawing at the the Warking's skull. High above the battlefield they danced with their foe, now and again sending an enemy fighter hurtling to the battlefield below like a fallen angel, bellowing smoke and fire.

And it was glorious.

The dull rumble of the massive Salamander tanks droned through the Warking's brain, and the reverberations of their massive guns threatened to shake his bones from their sockets. Their massive threads churned the ground beneath them into a morass of mud and blood, and the power of the steel beasts struck fear into the hearts of all who stood before them.

And it was glorious.

The roar of the Warpig monotreads was like a thousand angry bears bellowing for blood, and the sound of the riders cranking their engines onward towards redline rang sweeter than any music in the Warking's ears. The insane howling of their riders, each filled with the lust for blood and battle, sent a chill of anticipation down the Warking's spine, and he nearly trembled with his own internal lust for slaughter and havoc.

And it was glorious.

The sound of a thousand screaming Vol warriors was like a glorious symphony of chaos and bloodlust in the Warking's ears, and under his visor a maniacal grin split his face, as he prepared to revel in the carnage and bloodshed that surrounded him.

And it was glorious.

The steady rumble of the OTC clenched in his right fist sent a steady dull throbbing up the Warking's arm, and his body seemed almost to vibrate from the unreleased bloodlust within.

And it was glorious.

The screams of the Warking's foes fell upon his ears like the finest music, and the blasts from the guns of his foes smoked harmlessly off his shield and armor as he strode forth to wreak havoc upon their ranks.

And it was glorious.

The Warking's OTC screamed a song of death and dismemberment as it bit and tore at the ranks of the foe, bright blood spraying in crimson fountains, and limbs flying hither and thither as the Warking worked his bloody magic upon the quivering ranks before him. Through it all, his grim determination never wavered, as he gritted his teeth and set his limbs, hurling himself time and time again into the ranks of the foe, only to emerge gripping with gore and smoldering with rage, his bloodlust climbing higher with every life claimed by his whirling orange implement of death.

And it was glorious.

No foe could stand before him, no armor could withstand his weapon, and no attack could pierce his defenses. He fought 'till his muscles burned and his veins pumped acid, and then he fought some more.

And it was glorious.

And in the end, he stood upon a mountain of his vanquished foes, his armor dented and his shield rended to shreds, and still a demonic grin upon his face. The field of battle belonged to him, and no foe still lived to challenge him, and his bloodlust was satiated for now. But it would come upon him again soon, and then he would wade into a sea of foes again, and again he would emerge victorious.

And it was glorious.

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Re: [BF19] The Sound and The Fury

Post by ninja_bait » Mon Jan 06, 2020 3:00 pm

Concept: 10 - Oops, I gave out a lot of these. Brikwarsy as heck

Form: 10 - at first I was skeptical and then I was like sing bard yaaass

Style: 10 - it's so manly

Voice: 10 - My voice is deeper now

Presentation: 9 - I was listening to the recommended listening from Bookwyrm's entry and it made it much better
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Re: [BF19] The Sound and The Fury

Post by MadMario » Thu Jan 09, 2020 5:05 pm

Concept and Theme - 8 - very brikwarsy tone, like it.
Form - 9 - a little jolty in the measure, but cohesive and straightforward
Voice - 9 - I imagine James Earl Jones reading it
Style - 14 - The paragraphs were a little repetitive. And it was glorious.
Presentation - 7 - solid piece of brikwars poetry
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Re: [BF19] The Sound and The Fury

Post by Bookwyrm » Tue Jan 21, 2020 1:10 pm

Concept and Theme -- 7/10. I like the overall vibe, but not very deep story wise besides just being a cool scene.

Form -- 10/10. Very punchy, reads like an epic poem, I actually like the repetition.

Voice -- 6/10. Not much to speak of in terms of characters since the story itself doesn’t have much meat to it, but what we do get is pretty good

Style -- 15/20. Enjoyable, if not all that interesting from a narrative standpoint. Nevertheless, a fun epic-ballad-esq entry. And it was glorious.

Presentation -- 9/10. Nothing super noteworthy, but good job here overall

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