BJORKWARS 2: ELEKTRIK BJORKALOO - RAGNAVERSARY SPECIAL EDITION

[Bookwyrm]

Somewhere in the world between the scattered shards of the Brikverse, the Horseman of Poop makes his final preparations for his "vengance."





*blilp*






Frobo: HMMMMMGGGGG

???: I̫̫͓̺̲̹̯̝̻ ̘̗c̗a̦͉̱̭ṇ̫̭̙ ̙̣̹̖ͅp̱̘ͅs̗͇͈̱̳͓͇̣y̮͔̫c̪̻̻̘̹͓͔͖h͍̳͈̙̟̞͓̮i̫͇̲ͅc̳a͍͚̠̠͍̻l̩l̳̰̩̜ͅy̟͖͇̠ ̙͙͍̖̭̜̪ḫ̜̮͔̥̙ẹ̯̖̠̭̤ͅa͕̤̹̤r̩̼̙̲̮̙͚̰ ̦̘ͅy͔̝̹̗̟̦͚o̰̗̪̞u̜̪͙̹̝̤̜̙̺ ̣͙̳̭̩a̝͇͈̦̞̝͖̘l̘͉̪͓̤l̩̹̯ ̖̥̲̫t̫̱̠h̲̩̲ḛ̫ ̻̭̺̪̤͕͉̳w̼̭̲̰̗̤̺ͅa͎̫̫̯y͎̲̜̫ ̤̬̟̻f̺̹͎̝̱̭̗̟ṛ̭̭o̲͚̠̟͓͍̻mͅ ̻̜̫̗̭̙a̮̳̰̫̖n͓̱͖o̝̤̳̙t̖̫̭̖̪̺̱̰̺h͕̞͈̟e̪̫̤͖̦̙r͓̮ ͔̝̼͎d͓͍i̬̞̟̞͉̘̻̣̭m̻̥̼̝̬̖e̞̥͔̗ṉ͕ͅs̠̜̯̩͈̱͉̺̟i̯̩̭o̠̺̻͓͓ṇ͖͙̺̞̮ ͕͓̫̜̬a̙l͎̗̲͍r̥̥̱̗͇̞̭͕͉e̬̖̖͕͇̳̠a̭͈̠͍̫̭̩̘d͖̲̼̙̜͕̳y̤̖,͉̫̰̦̪͉̩̤ ̺y̹̖͇o͔̺͔͇u̝̫̟̮̥̘͔̤̻ ̝d̘̼̮̘ͅͅo̫̝͇̘͇ͅn̳̬͙’͚̼t̗̞ ͎͓͎n̦͙̯̤͖̖̖e͈̦̹͕̜͙̣̼e̼͙̫̣̳̯͕̤d̼̯͔ ̥ͅṯ͚̳͍̝o̰͚̣̙̤̲ ̠̥͙s͕̱̻̙̦̝̝͔h̖̹͓̹̯̘̻o̲̻̣̬̪̬ͅu̦͇̦ͅt̬̩̞̹̬,̘̺̖̹̝̯̼̱ ̖̳̖p̬͔̠̤̣̖l̺e͚̮a̼̻͖s̗͈̲̜͈eͅ.̻̭


ANIMATED


Frobo: oh onkay

Quantumstalker Colette: S͚͇̜͉͇i̼̬̘̪̳̤͎n͖̟̹̦̤̼͓ceͅ ̗y̤͚o̙̫̖̺u̳̣͓̬̗̗̖ ͎̣̼͎͉a̯̺̙̬r̺̟e̺̙͓̱ ̘͇̪ͅc̱o̦̥nt̤a͈c͓͚̪͎̺t̳̗͇̼͚̦̪in̟g̺ ͎͖̰͙͉͔m̯e͍̝͈̼ ̗̯̼͉͓̙̱ị̠͍̞̠̱n͎̦̯ ̜̰t̼̝̝̞hi̠̥̻͈̟͇s͔͕̝̙̝ ̫̠̯̹ͅm̼͈͈a͎n̝̳͚n͚̘͉͔̪͎̱e̖͕ṛ͍͇͔̹̦̘, I̯̥̺̗̫͈̲ ̜͕̪̯͓̲̰p̼̻r͉̳̪͎ḛ̖͚̲s̘̞͈͍̖̩u͓͓ͅm̩̦͍e͓̺͇̺͍ ̫̰̭̪̖̰y̮o͕͕̗̦͖̠̦ur̻̩̖̪͉ ̝̣̗̩̼͎̥“̹͈͓q̩̠̻̣̳̞ụe̟̻̤͍̱s̪̝̰̣͇͙t”̣̦ ̯̲͓̺̺̭͍t̪̦̜̩͇͔o̘̺̬̫̺̺̼ g̜͚̬ạ͕t̠͙̪̰̠͈ḫ͍͙̣e̪̯r͍̞̼ ̼͈̺t̜̮ḫ̳̯͎͈e̬̥̩͚ ̯͕̬̝̙͚̹ou͇̭t̤̼̲͔s͉̱̼i͙͈̖̼̘̰d͇͎̫ers̹̖̭͖̩̻ ̥t͎o ̣̪̥̪o͍̘u̫̻̘͉̠r̗͎̞̙͚ c̜͍̱̞͈̰̠a̳̻̲͓̪̜̞u͕̝̱̱s̩̪̩̠e̙̮͔̰̥ ̭w͚̤̝̗̰̞a͕̮̣s ̪̙ͅͅa͔̞̬͍ ̼̙̞͈̥͙̠s̙ucc̼̻̙es̭s͈̲̝̫̙̺ͅ?̳̟͖̹̪͔

Frobo: YEEE, i fdound a bunch uv guyz, like some chenss doods, and blobby clae thinfs, an my new BEDST FREN SAM and-

Quantumstalker Colette: Ye͕s͇ ̮͕͉yes̯̯̱,̥ ̟̱̯I̳͇’̠m̠̼̣͎ ̝̰͎s̙̻u̲̭͇̫̞̳͍r̞͔͈̘̲̗e̟ ̯̯͇̹͚̞̫i͎͎͓͙̱̪t̬͔̩̮ ̝͙̳̲͚̤͚w̲̮̟̤͈ͅa͍̙͎̤̻̮̦s ͎̠̞̺a̖̲n̠͓̯̹ ̯̺̹͙̰e̝̻͙̱x͔̦̟ci̥̥̟̫̣̦t̙͕͚in͖̜͈̤g̪͕̻̜͔̮ j͚̲͇̝͔̫̬o̜̭̣͔̖u̹r̖̘̰͕̥̤n̥e͈y̻̹̹͓̰ ̤̹̟͚̮̼̞w̫i͔̳̳͔t̜̺h̼̯̦ ̭l̫̘̠̙̬͈ͅo͖͖̘̮ͅt̗̱s̠ ͈͎̮͈o͉̭̜̞̟̖f̣̙͍̤̣ ̳̤̬n͕̝̩̖͉͉e̲w̳̭̦͉ ̠̜͚͎͖s̜̖e͓͖͉̞͔ͅl͚͎̹͚̝̰f̲̻̬͓̹̟̻ ̱̖̬̙̭d̦͖̜̣is̩͎͓̦̖c͓̘̺̥̜̯o̟͎̺̭v̤͕e̜͓͚̰r̜i̫̠͔͔͓̜es͎͍̬,̯̼̰ ̱̱͈̠b̯̲̝̘̙ͅu͚̲̫̥t̥͔̦ ͍̙d̩͍̖̭͈ḭ͙̜̺̣̼ḏ̪̞͉͓̲̪ ̝̬̜y͕͍̜o̻u͇̦̭̮̼ ̗̦͕͎͓p͉̻̜͎̗͎l̙̻͚͍͖͎a̩͎̮̲n̪̳͎ṯ̲ ̹͉͍̖the̘͍̮ ̜̬͉͙̫̙le͔̝̝̭g̗̜̖̮͓̦̳ ̹̗͉̟in͈ t̗̺̱̱̹̩̙h̺e͖̪͚̬ ͕̰c̘͉̹̙̫͖o̲͍͈̭͎͎ṟ̥͉̝̱r͕̲̰e̤̬̺c̗̞t ̫̺̫l̼̟̲͓͔o̙̰c̹a͖̺͖t̖͉̱io͙̦̘͙̯̘̦n̞?̙̼̩

Frobo: oh ya totely, like a LOGN TIME ago…

Quantumstalker Colette: E҉xcéll̶e̛nt, thèn͝ t͞he we̢apo͝n̢ ís in͘ p͢l͜a̵ce.̛ M̶y ̨r̕e͠mai͠n͟ing a͘g͏e̕n͟ts ͘in th҉a̸ţ r͜èąli̛t̛y ͞have a̷l̸r̡e̡ady̸ b͘e̛e͡n ̵disp̡a̷tc҉hed ͠to b̴r͏ing ever͏yon͘e n̛ec̢e̷ssa͏r̶y̕ into ͢p͢l̕ay̧, so͞ al̨l ̵t̢hat̀ ͞r͜e͝ma͞in̴ś ̵n͞ow is ̨fór͢ y̕ou ͏t̀o trave͘l ͟b̷ack ̶to͝ ̴th̸è ͜sit͠e ̸w͜héŗe y̸o̕u fi̷rs҉t҉ cam̴e̶ ̕f̷r͢om ͜a͠nd await th̀e̷ sign͠a͏l.




Frobo: an then wat? Teh kyu-esses wil just….. IDK show ump for the battel? Their NEVAR all together at the saem time!

Quantumstalker Colette: The̸ Kán͠o͞na̸ pla̶g̢ue͟ ̸I̡ ̡arr̷anged ͠and ̧tḩe͏ ̡s̕ub̸s͠e̕q͟ùe͏n̛t͢ ͠con͞t͘ent̡ l̕ock͜d͟o̧wn ͠made ̛şure̢ tha̡ţ t͘hey wo͟u͏l̨d̕ be͡ ͡s̕t͠ar͜v̵ȩd ̶f҉or̵ co̢ǹtact ̀wit͏h͡ ̡ot́h́er͡ pe͡op̛le̡, an͟d i҉t w̨ork҉e̴d̕ b͠e͡ttèr̨ thąn I͟ ev͟eŗ could ̀ha͜v͢e͡ ̷anti̧cipat͏e͘d̡. ́Th͟e̸ý ̶a̴re ͏n͘ow h̕os҉t͝i͟ng a̶ R͡aǵna͏bl͢ǫk̢ ͟a͝nn̶i͞v̴ersa͠ŕy̢ ͜c͏o͏n͞ven̡t̡ion,̴ ͝a͟n̡d there͞ ͠a͝re ͏mo͞re ̴r͞eside̸nt͏s ̀o̴f́ ́th̨e F̸a̛r-͏U͟m͏s͜ t͡h͟án̵ ̛e͟v̀er̵ be͏f̧ore ̴al̴l ̷ga͠the̵r̡ed͞ ̴tog̶ethèr ͘įn͞ o͏ne͡ p̷la͞c͘e.

Frobo: an rangoblok convenshun?

Quantumstalker Colette: Àp̢p̕ar͠e͏n҉tly,̡ ̸an͡d̶ by ̴do͘in͟g̢ so̵, t͡h҉ey have s̛e͞a͝l͞ed t̶hei̢r ̷o͟wn ҉de͜a͜t͜h͞ wa̧r̶ra͝nts̷.́ ̕B͜y̵ gąthȩr͏ing toge̡ther͘ ͝all at ̷onc̡e,́ ͞th͏e ̛Quan̴tu͞ms̨ur͘f͝e͜r̀s҉ h͠av̶e ̨ęns͠u͜red̢ a ̨com͝pl͏èt͝e̛ ͏b̡ręa̛kd̕ow͟n͢ of̴ ́a̡ll͞ ͘dec͢órum,̴ a̴n͘d t̴hey͢ wi͠ll҉ be ̴l͜ef̴t҉ vul͢n̴er҉ab̧l͝e.͞ T̷he ͜fo̕ols ̸never͡ l̛e̛arņ ͘their̴ l̸ess̶on͜.͟




Quantumstalker Colette: T̕h́e͠ ̶F͠a̕r-̸Ums a͡s͜ a ͜w̴ho̡le͠ ͏i͢s̡ ̴vo̡latil͝e҉,͟ ͟a͟ ́we͟l͟l o̶f c͢r͏ùde o͟i̢l ju̢st҉ w̕a̧it̴in͟g͢ ́for͝ ̵a̵ we҉ll̡ ̸place̷d ͡śpar̵k͏ ͏t͡o ͟s͢ta͝r̡t̡ ̀a̡ ͜ra͝giņg tŕa͝sh f͠i͟r̷e̡ ͏i̢n̛f͘e͠rņo ̡th͜a͝t wi̷l͢l̴ bu͡rn͠ th̛eir v͟e̢r͝y̨ ̢sou̧l̛s̢ ̡and͘ ̧s̨et͢ ̶o͝ff̷ ̢à ̀Fl͟a̧m̕e ̢Wa̕r̶ ͟th͏a̛t̴ ͡w̶i͘ll ̡fi̵ńal̶ly͝ kill͘ ̷t̛h̶e̴ ͟Brikve͜rse͟ for g̢oo͠d͢. ͏Ţhe m͘or͏e̷ ̨t́oxic ̕the ͟trash̴ i͠n ̸the̶ f̴i͡r͝e̶,̨ t͢h͞e̵ ļe͢ss ̛hơs͟p̛itab̢l̶e҉ ͘t͠h҉e͘ Br͠ikver̕se ͟be̛co͢m͘e̷s to͠ ̕e͞ve̡n ̶th͏e hig̕h͜ an͜d mig̶hty Hu̵m̷a҉n̡s.͢ ̛If̷ t̡he͜r͟e ͡ar͝e ǹo ̧H͠uma̶ns, ̧t̢h̢ere i͜s ̡no B̧rikwars͞. And i͘f͝ the͏r̶e i̕s no ̨Br̀i̴k͝w̸a̧r̴s̢,͠ t̡he̴ ̀Quanţum̶ ҉S̨u͢rfe҉rs ẃill͏ ͜truly be҉ f̛or̀got̵t͟e͢n f̢or ͏ąl͠l t̴ime, a͢ņd I ̴wi̡l̴l f͡ea҉şt͝ ̴o͝ǹ ̶t́h̢eir̡ a͡n͘n͘i̷hi͞la͜tion̷.̀

Frobo: An then we brake u and the renst of teh Whoresmin out of da blapck hol, and rbing the Negaverts in?

Quantumstalker Colette: Ye̵s, b̶ut͝ p̴atien͏ce̷,͜ ̶every͢thi͠n͏g ͞in t̨im̶e.̷ Fo͟r̷ no̸w̶,̶ ͏g̨o. Ţak̢e t̴h́e͝ ̵ŗeve̷ng͘e ͠you̢ hav̷e ͝d͝esir̶ed fòr so lonǵ. ̀M̧y p̡e͘rf̸e͢c͘t͝ ̷mo͠n̶s̛t̛e͢r wil͢l b́rin͝g̶ ̴t̢h͏e̵ḿ t̷o̸ ͡the̢i͏r k͝nees͡,͝ a͢n͠d ͡a͟f̶t͢er t͢he̢ ̛dust ͢set̀t͢les,͜ ̶àn̸d ̕t͞heir ̧c͘orps͢es a͝re l̛e̶f̸t ҉t͞ǫ g͡atḩe͝r͠ r̡o͝t ͏aǹd ̡fl͡ies,̛ ͘t͝ḩen thȩ ̴r̴e͢st ̀of ͜t͡he͠ Brikv̶ęr̀se̕ ͟wiļl foll͞o͟ẃ s҉oo̴n ̷a͏f͠ter. ͜I̸ w̕i͢lĺ ͏r͘e͝m̶ąi͜n ̨i̛n ̡c͡o̧ntąc͜t ҉unt͡ìl͝ ̨t͝he ̡a͞ppr͟o͘pr̴ia͘te ̀m̛om҉en̛t̴.̛

Frobo: kk lol, ttyl




Frobo: welpp, tim to go meat the bois, hope dey saived me some TAQCO BELL! XD







[NEXT]

[Bookwyrm]

Elsewhere, Far-Ums administrative staff finish last second preparations for the imminent convention...



Zupponn: Oooookay, so the vendors are all set up, the pocket dimension we’re using as a venue has been properly anchored, and Mr. Skeltal’s band is set to come in at the end of the day to play during the Seven Maniak Beers drinking contest. I think we’re pretty much ready to go here, any last things to go over before we kick this shindig off?

Quantumsurfer: Yeah, I’m still a tiny bit concerned about, you know, the obvious problem. We still haven’t really gone over that here.

Zupponn: Remind me what that is again?




Quantumsurfer: The Brikwarriors themselves. I mentioned this beforehand but it really is an issue. You weren’t really involved as much in the old QS Czat, but it wasn’t exactly the most er, stable of groups, lots of backstabbing and plotting to seize control, and there were only about five or six of us meeting back then. Now, we’re bringing in, what is it, close to sixty now? Ten times as many Quantum Surfers, which means ten times as many Quantum Surfer sized egos all clashing at once. A great many of them will also be drunk on reality bending liquor. Do we have any sort of plan to handle things if they start getting too... “passionate” about things for their own good? The last thing I want is for this to end in a bunch of guys getting banhammered.

Zupponn: Honestly I say let the chips fall where they may, we’ve never had any sort of special argument protocols before now that worked and I can’t imagine that something we farted out five minutes before the Con will work any better. We’ll try to nip any conflict in the bud when it starts popping up, and if we can’t make that work we can always just default to the way Brikwarriors solve most conflicts; with excessive, over-the-top violence.

Quantum Surfer: Yeah, see, that, that’s the exact scenario I’m worried about. We really don’t need some kind of Quantum Surfer Civil War scenario happening right now on top of all the Ragnablok fallout. I don’t know. Bookwyrm, you’ve been rather quiet on this issue, you were the one that came up with RagnaKon, what are your thoughts here?




Bookwyrm: *silent for a moment before replying, pondering his response carefully* It’s something I’ve been thinking about since I started putting together this convention, and especially since I was made moderator in the Diss Cord. Conflict is inevitable in any community, that much is indisputable and universal. No-one will agree on everything 100% of the time. This situation, however, is somewhat unique. Quantum Surfers and other powerful Sigfigs have a level of authority over Kanon that comes into play in situations like this. When quarrels happen, it doesn’t just affect the parties involved, it can have ramifications for the entire rest of the Brikverse.

Zupponn: Sooooo, you’ve got an idea for how to calm tensions?

Bookwyrm: Oh of course not, these are QUANTUM SURFERS we’re talking about here, if they want to get pissed off at another Surfer, nothing I can do will be able to calm the situation, short of maybe spiking all the food with edibles to chill everyone out.

Zupponn: Can we do that?

Bookwyrm: Well, let’s just say that Spectral has some “special” donuts mixed into his booth’s stockpile. In all seriousness though, as much as I’d like it to, even giving everybody a shitton of weed won’t solve our problems. No, the only way this goes off 100% smoothly is if everyone involved chooses individually for themselves to make that happen.




Quantumsurfer: So, what you’re basically saying is that we’re totally fucked here.

Bookwyrm: Not totally. There is a chance that everything works out exactly as planned here. Look, I understand this is a risk, but believe me when I say that this convention was the best case scenario I could come up with to try and ease the transition from Pre-Ragnablok Brikverse to Post-Ragnablok Brikverse. It is engineered in a format that will ensure as much fun Kollaboration as I could possibly manage.

Quantumsurfer: Hence the stereotypical convention setting?

Bookwyrm: That too.

Quantumsurfer: …

Zupponn: Hey man, we always have the “everyone duels to the death” option on the table if it starts to get hairy.

Quantumsurfer: You’re just saying that because you want to have a big Hellhunt duel to the death.

Zupponn:




Quantumsurfer: *sigh...* Well, I guess I don’t really have any better ideas either. So we’re in agreement then, we hope for the best and default to the “trial by combat” plan if things get too out of hand?

Zupponn: Yep

Bookwyrm: Agreed.

Quantumsurfer: Okay then. No sense in delaying the inevitable longer. Let’s let everyone in.

[NEXT]

[Zupponn]

I am pleased to be depicted as the voice of chaos.

[Bookwyrm]

I am pleased to be depicted as the voice of chaos.

I know you too well to depict you as anything else

[Bookwyrm]

(Recommended Listening)



Bing [Bot]: Hello! Welcome to RagnaKon! Please check in with Zupponn at the signup table!

Gorvoslov: So, do you know what exactly this whole thing was set up for?

Bolicob: Not really, I’m just here for the free beer. Technically speaking, I’m not even here right now.

Gorvoslov: You’re… not here?

Bolicob: Well yeah, in terms of chronology, this is my first ever appearance, even though kanonically I won’t show up for the first time for a little while. Bookwyrm said he’d work it out for me when I signed up.

Gorvoslov: Why does everything have to be so damn confusing all the time.

Bolicob: You said it.




Zupponn: Hi welcome to RagnaKon, names?

Gorvoslov: Dude.

Zupponn: I’m just pulling your chain, I know who you guys are. Head on in and grab a seat, they’ll be starting opening remarks very soon.

Bolicob: Let’s hit the bar before we meet up with the other castle bros, I want to try some of Mario’s Blue Maniak Beer.




Ninja_Bait: Okay go ahead and roll, Ken.

Ken: *rolls die*... GOD DAMNIT. EVERY. FUCKING. TIME...

Dienekes: Damn, *another* natural one, what are the odds?

Zee: hahaha this is why there are no Brootalz in Anno. so my tank’s armor absorbs the hit.

Ken: Yeah yeah, I know. Uh, well that’s it for my turn then. Space Bunny, you’re up next.




Space Bunny: Okay, give me a minute to get a grasp on the battlefield here

Egypt Hat Cosplayer: Who’s winning so far?

Ken: Depends. Zee has taken the least amount of losses, but Kastrenzo is up on kills, so it's still anyone’s game, except mine apparently because my Warbawss rolled his fifth critfail today. I think my Brootal dice are cursed. Where’s an exorcist when you need one.

Ninja_Bait: We’d better wrap up this turn pretty quick though, we’re almost filled up in here which means that they’re probably going to do opening announcements here really soon, who do we still have left?

Kastrenzo: Just Space Bunny and me for this round, then we can break for a while.




MadMario: Hi, can I interest you in a leaflet on Whateverism? We would be absolutely whelmed if you would take one.

Tzan: Sure I-- uh, don’t you mean overwhelmed?

Whateverist: Whateverism does not lean into the excesses of being over- or under-whelmed, we are merely whelmed at all times. Have a brochure. Or don’t. It doesn’t matter.

Food_Truk: Heeey, MM, how’s it hanging?

MadMario: No, I will not tell Rody to let you have some Maniak Beer.

Food_Truk: Aw man, come on! Even the KIDS are drinking here, just a teeny tiny pint of Pink Beer? Nobody is drinking the pink beer, you won’t even miss it!




MadMario: That’s what you said last week when you polished off the last of my scotch and locked yourself in the bathroom to sleep off your hangover in my tub for two days.

Food_Truk: Okay point taken, but still! I’m the ONLY ONE who’s not allowed to have any beer! If I don’t get some alcohol in me here soon, this whole convention is going to be absolutely no fun at all!

MadMario: Hmmm, yes, what a shame. Maybe you should consider the wise words of Whateverism, it might help you come to terms with the fact that you’re NOT GOING TO STEAL ANY MORE BEER.

Food_Truk: ...Okay fine, give me a leaflet. I’ll use it as a coaster for all the booze I’m going to buy from Spectral.




Spectral: come on orver, we’ve got the BEST achlol in the convention! Booze, hooch, spirits, grog, moomshine- er, fuck. MOONSHINE. All for the lowest prices!

Batman Hat Cosplayer: Two donuts and a bottle of spirits, please.

Food_Truk: Hey Spectral, how’s business so far?

Spectral: oh HEY FOOD, sup?

Food_Truk: ...How drunk ARE you, exactly right now?

Spectral: I’m like, a solifd five r six? but I’m not just sloashed rn, if u know what im saying…




Food_Truk: I don’t know how you’re sitting inside here smoking that thing, aren’t you worried about getting caught?

Spectral: bro BOOKWYRM rolled me thisd blunt, and hes the guy in charge, its fiiiine… in fact here im done with this, looks like u need it more than me.

Food_Truk: Ugh fine, just give it to me. Also I’m going to need a couple bottles of your good stuff. And some donuts.

Spectral: then you came to the right place




Primrose: So anyway. Long story short; blue. Awesome. That’s all there really is to say on the matter.

Fancy Hat Cosplayer You do make a salient point.

DayBoost_: So uhhh, you guys are just promoting the color blue here? Not like, a blue alliance or something, just… the concept of Blue as a thing that exists?

Falk:

DayBoost_: Hey man no judgement, just wondering.

N3M0T0: Hey do you guys know when we’re going to be starting? I should probably go get a seat here close to the front.

Falk: Quantum was just over here a minute ago, as soon as he gets back I think they’re going to begin.




Natalya: I still don’t know why we didn’t just have this at the Four Rums, it’s bigger than this dinky little hole we’re in right now.

Braggalot: I was thinking the same thing, so I asked Zupponn, and all he told me was “budget cuts” before grinning evilly and backing away while laughing… so yeah I have no idea what they were thinking.

Natalya: figures.

Natalya: hey Rody, can we get two more shots of the OT Beer to go?

Braggalot: Actually make mine RT, I’m going to need an extra pick me up with the way things are already going with this disaster.

Rody: *nods*




Braggalot: Thanks, we’ll see you around the con!

Rody: *waves*




Blue & White Con-Goer: …

Power Armor Cosplayer: … *puffs on cigarette*




Blue and White Con-Goer: ...

Power Armor Cosplayer: ...So, what did you learn?

Blue and White Con-Goer: Not much. The Quantum Surfers don’t seem to be aware of our presence as anything more than convention attendees, their minds are on other things.

Power Armor Cosplayer: And what about the enemy forces?

Blue and White Con-Goer: Only one hostile agent as far as I can tell, a scout or something. It’s back near the doors to get in bothering the new people that show up, but hasn’t made any moves just yet. I have some men near the ballpit ready to jump in if needed.

Power Armor Cosplayer: Is there a reason you didn’t just blow its nonexistent brains out right away?

Blue and White Con-Goer: I’d prefer not to blow our cover this early, we know that there’s more Negaverse forces involved here than just one asshole Nega-Muhreen, the last thing we want is to give up our surprise advantage too early.

Power Armor Cosplayer: Understood. I’m going to stick around here and finish nursing another beer, that MadMario guy knows his stuff.

Blue and White Con-Goer: Fine, just finish your cig and drink and get ready, I have a feeling they’re going to make their move soon.

Power Armor Cosplayer: Roger.




Google [Bot]: Hello, welcome to RagnaCon, please enjoy yourselves.

Duerer: Thanks, Google [Bot], will d--

Nega-Muhreen Recrooter: Hey there, new Quantum Surfers! You kids have a minute?

RedRover: Please god no.

SilentSigfig: dude fuck off, nobody here wants to talk to you about joining the muhreens

Nega-Muhreen Recrooter: No need to be rude…




RedRover: Hey Zupponn, who the hell let the Recrooter in here?

Zupponn: Hahahaha no idea, it wasn’t me, probably Bookwyrm.

Duerer: But why??

Zupponn: Same reason we have the shitty ballpit, duh, because it's funny. Every convention has to have the annoying military recruiter table that has nothing to do with the rest of the event and just irritates everyone and preys on highschool dropouts.

SilentSigfig: he has a point, it is pretty funny.

RedRover: Yeah, you’re right. Let’s stay on this side of the room though…




Silvadream: haha anal disruptor go brrrrrr




Duerer: ...Yeah good call.




Cracjaw: Sooooo, what even IS this stuff? Looks like those new crappy Dew flavors.

Shaggy: your MOM looks like those new crappy dew flavors

Flamer Shaftglutton: Haha gottem

Infinity: Here at the Shag Shack we sell everything! Weapons, armor, random bullshit, and the complete line of CULT OF KEK BRAND DANKJUICE! If you think the multicolored Maniak Beer is strong stuff, just wait till you try one of these babies! It will burn your eyebrows off!

Flamer Shaftglutton: Eh… I think I’ll pass for now, but I might be back later, save me a case.




Infinity: Well, business isn’t too bad, but we still haven’t had any takers for the Dankjuice. Maybe we need to rethink our marketing strategy.

Shaggy: hmmmm, I could try playing the saxophone to draw more attention to our booth?

Infinity: Ehhhhh, let’s call that plan B. There’s got to be a way to get people interested in our stuff.

Battle Echidna: you do not know a wae

Infinity: STFU, Fuckles the echidna over here dissing our business plan!

Shaggy: or here’s an idea, lets go mess with the Beer, then they’ll have to come get drinks from us--

Infinity: Oh shit hang on here comes Quantum, we’ll finish this later, let’s go grab seats. Okay Fuckles, watch the booth, and don’t mess anything up.

Battle Echidna: *clikclikclikclikclik*


[NEXT]

[Bookwyrm]

Quantumsurfer: Hello all, and welcome to our first annual RAGNAKON, the Far-Ums Ragnablok Anniversary Konvention! Hope you’re all enjoying yourselves so far?

Shaggy: *from within the crowd* be enjoying myself a lot more if people would buy my shit!

Quantumsurfer: Great! So, we know everyone is a little antsy from being cooped up for a lot of the year due to the Kanona quarantine, but we’re glad to have each and every one of you here to join in the Halloween celebrations. As far as we’re aware, this is the record for the most of us there have ever been together at the same time, which is exciting! We do apologize for the slightly cramped venue, we will take that into consideration for next year. Our first pick for location was the Four Rums, but due to the ongoing Bot Wars conflict against General Error and his forces, we had to make some last minute adjustments in convention planning. Now then, a few miscellaneous announcements to start things off. First of all, by popular demand, we’ve finally enlisted the help of a licensed minifig therapissed to help those of you still suffering from the psychological effects of being lasered in the face by Blueguy this time last year. We all stand together in solidarity in this situation, and want to make sure everyone is getting the catharsis they need. If you are interested please see myself or Zupponn for contact info.




Green: *whispering* Who the hell is Blueguy?

Archduke: *whispering* Dude are you serious? Do you not remember the dude that fucking killed all the Quantumsurfers a year ago? He killed us both, we were standing right next to each other when he did it!

Green: *whispering* Hmmmm, not ringing any bells, are you sure it was me there?

Zee: *whispering* smh green, we literally had to come rescue you after your gross Shinji resurrected you, try to keep up… u_u




Quantumsurfer: Next on the agenda before we kick off the main festivities and start our first panel with special guests Warhead and Almighty Benny--

Warhead: What’s up fucknuggets

Quantumsurfer: --RagnaKon staff would like to go over some of the important Kanon information we’ve been able to parse out over these past few months since Ragnablok Retkonned the Brikverse, and to explain, I’m going to call up our convention organizer, Bookwyrm--

QS Crowd: *collective moans of horror and dismay*

Quantumsurfer: --so that he can clear up a few misconceptions that seem to be circulating around in the Far-Ums and surrounding areas. Bookwyrm?

Bookwyrm: Thank you Quantum. Well, judging by your collective reaction you don’t seem to be in the mood for one of my usual long-winded soliloquies on the nature of the universe and Kanon, so I’ll do my best to keep this brief so that you can go back to your drinking.

Shadowscythe: Bold of you to assume I ever stopped drinking




Bookwyrm: As you all know, Ragnablok was a tremendous success--

Zee: thats highly debateable

Bookwyrm: --and we saw an explosion of Kontent and Kollaboration last year that was previously unprecedented. However, it has also turned a lot of established conventions on their head, and a lot of stuff has changed in the Brikverse since then. A lot of people have been referring to the Retkonstrukted Brikverse as the “Post-Konvergence Brikverse” or just the “KonVerse” for short, not necessarily a bad way of describing it at all, but it has led to a couple minor misunderstandings in the community. For example, I’ve heard a number of people trying to recruit newbies by asking if they “plan to join KonVerse, or Anno?” or saying that their factions have relocated to “Nehellenium space” following the events of Ragnablok. The confusion is completely understandable, since we weren’t exactly sure what happened during and immediately following the fracturing of the Brikverse during the final crescendo of Ragnablok, but now we have a bit of a better idea how things work nowadays. First of all, Nehellenium is definitively gone. It was the focal point of much of the previous era’s Kanon and Kollaboration, so when the Horsemen tipped the scales of balance far enough that the fabric of the galaxy broke, it became the focal point of the new universe in the form of the persisting supermassive black hole that I’ve dubbed the “Singularitatem Nehellenium.”

Scribonius: Gesundheit.

Bookwyrm: As far as we can tell, nothing has actually been lost from the Nehellenium Era. Instead, all Kontent from the previous universe was knocked into a state of Quantum Superposition; existing simultaneously as Kanon and Non-Kanon, both within and without the singularity’s gravity well. Much of the old Kanon has settled again and become the basis of the new Kanon, while other aspects of it have fallen out completely and only residue still remains. The vast majority of Kontent, however, still remains in this Schrodinger-esque state of synchronous existence, so if anyone has any fear of their Kanon being lost in the black hole that was once the Galaxia Nehellenium, it is only a mere thought away from being returned to a fully Kanon state should you or anyone else wish to resurrect it. This holds true for everything that was “lost” during Ragnablok, everything but the galaxy itself.

Kaplan: That’s a relief, but what about the other galaxies and systems? Thracan isn’t gone into the black hole…




Bookwyrm: You are correct; it is not. In fact, the vast majority of what was swallowed by the singularity was either completely lifeless Kontent abandoned years ago, or else empty space. The only active factions and systems that were consumed were the ones that fell to the influence of the Ruinous powers. The old Nutzee type factions as an example, are now subsumed entirely by the forces of the Horsemen that are imprisoned within the black hole dimension. All of them except for the Akkadians I guess, they’re still in stasis until Stubby gets around to finishing the Rainbow War. Same story with much of the Allied Nations military. But I digress. In short, now rather than being one contiguous whole universe, made up of galaxies and planetary systems connected by large swathes of space, the structure of things is more like a big bowl of glass shards all mixed together with the Singularitatem in the “center”. Large galaxies like Thracan or Anno and sectors of the old Nehellenium like Perwar or Magenta are now whole mini realities unto themselves, no longer joined by space or separated by distance, but still accessible to each other through magik, interdimensional warp tech, or Beige-Jumping. So the Brikverse is still only one complete Brikverse, but it is now made up of hundreds of smaller Brikverse chunks konverged together, hence the “KonVerse” moniker.

lordintype: I like your funny words, magic man

Bookwyrm: Thank you lordintype.

Archduke: Okay this is all great but l still don’t get why any of this crap matters, who cares if the Brikverse is a bowl of glass or whatever?

Bookwyrm: Understanding why things work the way they do will hopefully reduce the frequency of butting heads when two of the Humans pulling the strings have differing interpretations of how things like Kollaboration should be handled. With the new Post-Ragnablok state of things, we’re hoping that Kollaboration will no longer be a breeding ground for Ruinous Order to set in like it was when there were hard and fast rules for how groups of Brikwarriors could interact with each-other’s Kanon. Now that everything is broken, Kollaboration is pretty much up to the discretion of the Quantum Surfers involved in its facilitation. Quantum Superposition means that something Kanon in one reality doesn’t need to affect any other shards unless they wish it to. So Anno can exist independently of the Brootal invasion, factions that are superpowers in one reality are merely jokes in another, and none of it contradicts in a way that would stifle Kollaboration.




TheLegoBrick: wat? I still don’t understand any of this. what’s ragnablok?

Flamer Shaftglutton: Oh my god...

Darkstorm: Actually, good point, that clears up some of the confusion as to why certain events have gone down, but it still doesn’t explain why these guys showed up again suddenly. Why are Quantum Surfers of banned Humans still around if there’s nobody giving them a reason to exist outside of the black hole?

Duerer: Yeah I was wondering the same thing, and also who let the Hot Dog Bois in here at all, that’s just asking for trouble.




Overwatch: Hey fuck you guys too I guess, just forget about the best power couple in the Brikverse haha right

Silvadream: babe don't listen to them theyre just h8ers because they can't have something as eternal as our love

Cracjaw: Please stop talking right now




Silverdream: Ignore them. I’m also interested as to why I persist even after my Human has ceased being around.

Bookwyrm: Well, a Quantum Surfer is essentially a vector for a Human to directly interface and interact with their own individual Kanon, Quantum Surfers can serve a number of different roles for the purposes of the Humans, but the most common is for editing Kontinuity or illustrating an aspect of Kanon unable to be properly expressed otherwise. Think of it like a pen, on a page...

Ninja_Bait: Oh hooray another obtuse writing metaphor, this is definitely not much more confusing now!

Bookwyrm: Touché, then let’s say, think of it like, I don’t know... like, a Photoshop cursor, bare minimum with a draw and erase function, but usually you're going to use it for a lot more than that. Fill tool, copy tool, select tool, whatever. The point is, besides being minifig stewards of individual Kanon realities, Quantum Surfers are also the very instruments of directly changing Kanon when Humans determine to do so.

Kastrenzo: So what you’re saying is you’re a massive tool?

Gorvoslov: God DAMN, dude

Bookwyrm: Okay wow I really walked into that one. Maybe we should be moving on here. Suffice to say, the short version of the explanation is that Quantum Surfers making these edits leaves marks on the Kanon, some small, and some large enough to essentially be whole vestiges of the original Quantum Surfer. This holds true even for Sigfigs that aren’t technically Surfers, but only ones that made a large enough impact on the Kanon without the aid of Quantum Reality Manipulation. The gestalt of residue that is left behind by Kollaborating Humans can power these empty minifig vessels, so they end up deriving their existence from the collective instead of the individual; the group perceptions of those remnant Quantum Surfers become the Surfers themselves.

Space Bunny: So the minifig sticks around but the Human vanishes?

Infinity: Bro you could have led off with that and it would have been all we needed lol.




theblackdog: So in other words, what you’re saying is that… that’s not Piltogg sitting over there, that’s… the personification of the feeling we all have when we realize that Quest of Piltogg will probably never ever be finished?

Quantumsurfer: That’s… more or less accurate.


[NEXT]

[Kommander Ken]

This is great. You're great. I want moooorreeeee.

[Tzan]

[Zupponn]

This is pretty fantastic. You have so many people included.

[Bookwyrm]

(Recommended Listening)




Green: Okay well all this is fascinating, but can we go back to the beginning of all this stuff, which is the Ragnablok convention in the first place. Zee’s point about debating the dubious "success" of flushing years worth of collaborative canon down the shitter is one I think we need to address.

Ninja_Bait: Here we go again

Green: Hush. You know I’m right!

Shaggy: thats highly debateable

Green: I just think that this idea that a few members of the community getting to decide that the best thing for the Brikverse was to beat it to death with a hammer so you could start from scratch is kinda sus. Everyone’s the Boss of Their Own Toys, and you just decided to throw out the toys of anyone who wasn’t around anymore.




RedRover: Green, you say that, but what would you have had us do otherwise? Just keep things the way they were?

Green: Kinda? Everyone should agree on big changes to the universe, otherwise why even bother being in a community in the first place, just have your own universe where you get to be in charge at that point.

Kastrenzo: I mean yeah, that’s pretty much what we did with Ragnablok.

Food_Truk: Isn’t that… also like, exactly what you did with Anno even before Ragnablok?

Zee: food i will murderize you so help me

Food_Truk: Hey relax I’m not saying that's a bad thing, Anno is a sweet hangout. Just pointing out that y’all had similar ways of dealing with the end of the world than you seem to believe.

Spectral: The weeb galaxxy was tsundere for Ragnabolk the whole time lmao

Archduke: Why do people feel the need to use the phrase “weeb” like its some kind of huge affront, this is the internet, where we are proud of our Shinjis and weebery, why act like it's the worst crime you can commit, especially when we have way more annoying trolls around here as community mainstays

Shaggy: awww you think I’m a community mainstay archie? I didn’t know you really cared…




Zahru: I’m inclined to agree, what’s wrong with anime?

BFenix: Nothing’s wrong with anime, it’s just when people are horny on main for their best girl all the time it's an issue.

Green: Oh SUUURE, so Warhead can talk all day and all night about how much aaaaall the hot moms love him, but the moment I say anything about wanting Yuri Alpha to suffocate me to death with a throw pillow the chat loses their shit

Ooyama:

Green: Thank you Ooyama, based as always.

Space Bunny: Err…

Shaggy: BONK go to horny jail

Green: Shaggy stfu I fuckin swear

Shaggy: u just hate me cuz u aint me

Green: And you seriously just said “” out loud, SMH my head. I can’t believe that people think I’m unreasonable for talking about Ragnablok being bullshit but everyone seems to be entirely okay with Shaggy and his dumb horse going around and shitting up all the legitimate content…

Shaggy: DID SOMEBODY SAY HROSE?

Food_Truk: Green, ah, fuck. I can’t believe you’ve done this.




Hrose: Oh henlo Qamtum Soorfirs!!! It iz I, ANNO HROSE, heer tu saev teh dey!!!!!!!

MadMario: Kill it with fire.

Ninja_Bait: Haha yes Hrose is back, sup Hrose

Zee: hrose is heresy

Ken: Nah Hrose is a funny guy, leave him alone!

Food_Truk: Hrose needs to be yeeted into Brikthulhu’s domain before he causes the downfall of western civilization.

Infinity: You mean he hasn’t already done that?

Shaggy/Hrose: https://youtu.be/b3_lVSrPB6w

Bookwyrm: This… is going downhill fast.




Zupponn: Ooookay, look, we clearly can’t resolve this through talking, this is the same stuff everyone always says about everything here, and repeatedly saying it isn’t getting anyone anywhere. So, I have a proposal. All of us, free for all battle, winner takes all, no holds barred. Pure unregulated carnage that will determine the result of the moot, as it should be here in the Brikverse. Then we can resolve this with the last people standing and get back to the convention fun.

Silasw: A battle?

Devincp: You mean right here and right now?

Natalya: nah he means Thunderdumb, that’s where we always host brikwarrior duels.

Green: Thunderdumb is literally full of shit right now, it’s no arena, it’s an extra large garage. We’d need to spend an hour just clearing out all of Shaggy’s old factions he abandoned, let alone everyone else’s shit.

Quantumsurfer: We’ll set the convention facility to teleport to an uninhabited island somewhere and just duke it out there, it shouldn’t be too hard to move this pocket dimension.




Falk: I’m game.

Dienekes: Sounds good to me.

Spectral: Oh helllll yeah you guys are going DOWN.

Food_Truk: Oh god, are you guys suggesting we pull a *Fortnight?* Fucks sake.

Shaggy: where we droppin boyys

Bookwyrm: Unfortunate normie reference aside, yes, we can simply drop out of pocket space into a desired location, the control button is back at the entrance. Zupponn, if you would be so kind?

Zupponn: Yeah I got it.




Nega-Muhreen Recrooter: That’s the teleport mechanism then? Too easy.

Quantumsurfer: Oh FUCK.

Warhead: Why is this fucking rat bastard still breathing, who even let it in here in the first place. Fuckin blow this trash up!

Nega-Muhreen Recrooter: Too late! Now I get to pick which island we go to!

Sahasrahla: Stop him!

Bookwyrm: Quickened Finger of Deat-






-B- -L- -O- -O- -P- -!-


[NEXT ]

[Tzan]

That "bloop" sounds very similar to what I hear in my bathroom.

[Food_Truk]

That "bloop" sounds very similar to what I hear in my bathroom.

Fix your drains, before something that looks like a crossbreed between Brikthulhu and a chihuahua comes crawling out.

It's amazing they put a big bright button right in the open near an obviously hostile person. Typical convention organization.

[sahasrahla]

yessss, action time

[Kommander Ken]

Leave Hrose alooooneee!!

[Spectral]

goddamn this is good