Among all the interdimensional abominations and ABS-mutated monstrosities in the BrikVerse, there is one Creature that stands above all others in its ability to terrify even the bravest of minifig men. Few indeed are those who can hold their ground in the face of Girls.
Due to their rarity in minifig civilisation, it's possible for minifigs to go their entire short lives without ever seeing a Girl, much less talking to one, and many strange and horrible myths have arisen concerning their uncanny powers. In an effort to protect the comfort of the soldiers, minifig civilizations command their Girls to limit themselves to one of two non-threatening stereotypes: either the Damsel-in-Distress, helplessly waiting for a man to save her, or the Fighting FuckToy, who's allowed to be deadly in combat as long as it's primarily used as an excuse to wear skimpy chainmail bikinis.
In the field, however, a Girl's interest in adhering to stereotypes rarely survives the first round of combat. The Damsels-in-Distress refuse to miss out on killing stuff, and the Fighting FuckToys forget to pretend that the opinions of spectators have any meaning for them. This is incredibly upsetting to minifig men, who are unable to accept the idea that not everything revolves around them.