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| − | '''Lesson One: '''
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| − | We used to be the number one high school in teh USA before a bunch of texas ruffians pushed us off.
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| − | '''Lesson Two: '''
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| − | Taking AP Calculus BC is totally cooler than hooking up with someone- you're considered cooler the earlier you take it. AP Computer Science is better than sex.
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| − | '''Lesson Three: '''
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| − | After taking AP Biology and AP Chemistry, one is eligible to take a college-level course named "Orgy" Chemistry.
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| − | '''Lesson Four: '''
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| − | There are weird fellow students stalking me even though I'm two years younger. Strange.
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| − | '''Notable Figures: '''
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| − | ''colette's Biology Teacher:''
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| − | Quotes: "My sex life is none of your business, and neither is yours. Hopefully."
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| − | "And when you're 50 years old and have to take your digital prostate exam, you'll think of me."
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| − | "*stuff about prostate exams*...and then you feel violated."
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| − | "Biology is all about sex and violence, which is over sex."
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| − | ''colette's Chemistry Teacher:''
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| − | Testimonial from student: "I learned about sigfigs in chemistry class today. The teacher even told us about a kid who made an improvised flamethrower in his class 31 years ago. He also said up until a few years ago he would randomly light tables on fire during labs to test the students' ability to use a fire extinguisher. He's even going to get a cat eyeball and dump it in acid for teh lulz and warn us to wear safety goggles all the time. Last class he told us about tracing phone calls, hiding a dead body, and hot wiring a car. There's a reason why he's called the best chemistry teacher."
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| − | Quotes: "You probably don't want to spill this chemical, because its name has the word cyanide in it."
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