The BrikWars Forums

Previously

Now, time for battle, because nobody ever dies in great explosions of fire.

Heroes (from left to right):

Immortals: JLSL, coffee addict

Eschatos: Zbigniew, coward



Forces:

Immortals: Hero + 9 junior legionnaires



Eschatos: Hero + 6 security officers (or igaisa, plural igaisaso, which means infantryman in Eschato)


(one of them is hidden behind the grey vertical plate)

Overwiev:


Goals:

Immortals: Capture the OT chest.

Eschatos: Hold the OT chest, until it opens.

Pictured, the OT chest opener, property of the NOSE



Both sides will gain reinforcements, inluding heroes, if the ones in the field die.

Heroes in reserve (from left to right):

Immortals: Pyromaniak, pyromaniac

Immortals: Tris, female shard of Warhead

Eschatos: Buce and Phalus, cavalry

Eschatos: Sikret Agent, secret agent



Signs up via discord.

Factions:

Immortals: EternityOfDeath

Eschatos: Surge

Secret faction #1: Arkbrik

Secret faction #2: Cybrandir

Secret faction #3: sproke

claiming eschatos via a forum post because this is a forum battle and because rules don't bind real brikwarriorz anyways

Unfortunately for you, sprok, Eschatos have been claimed via discord. I didn't update it in time, because forums didn't work

according to the brikwars rules, it says that in cases like these you should just throw in secret factions as necessary
https://brikwars.com/rules/2020/mc.htm#escalation
just give me whatever and I'll see how many atrocities I can commit with them

okay, fine, but I'd appreciate if you sent orders via discord. That being said:

Turn 1

Eschatos

Zbigniew: Men move up and defend the Base and me at all cost, We can't let any of are enemies in!



Inspired, his men run into positions.



Security officer: Reporting for duty!

Zbigniew: You were standing here the entire time?

Security officer: Yessir!

Zbigniew: Good, now we will hold them off! Wait, no, we're still outnumbered...



Immortals

Junior legionnaires run towards the enemy.



But are met with prepared soldiers and their prepared fire.



One legionnaire dies ("Woah, he bleeds green!" "Not the time."), the other one loses her shield.



Unfortunately (yes, I'm biased), due to ass aim, one security officer shots his colleague in ass. He's fine, but a bit annoyed.



Blue-skinned junior leggionaire: Shouldn't we advance too?

JLSL: Wait, let me finish my coffee.



Coffee's energy radieted from her, to her soldiers. The power of the coffee with Calpis is such, that they move in a blur, making them harder to hit.



Reinforcements

Voice from under the rubble: Oh fuck, my head hurts... What's going on?



Security Offecer Und Erubble: Immortals? Ah shit, here we go again.



Bob: Look, Bob, we're late for the battle!

Bob: True, Bob, Pyromaniak will probably kill us for that. But have you seen Bob?

Bob: No, Bob, I think we lost him on the way here.

Bob: That's bad, Bob, we're the only two minifig squad of junior legionmaires out here. So embarrasing.



Overwiev

Turn 2

Eschatos

Zbigniew: Two on the right, diagonal line, two on the left, normal line, like on trainigng... Because it's like on trainigng...



Cool Security Officer: Line ready, opening fire!



Nerd Security Officer: Line ready, opening fire!



Diagonal line managed to evaporate a legionary, while normal line fails to inflict damage.



Irritated Security Officer: Why didn't I get chosen to join a line? I'll show you how it's one!



And it's a takedown.



Immortals

Steve: You got more coffee?

JLSL: Stupid question, I always have more coffe.

Naze (definietely not Zane): Can we get some, then?

JLSL: Only if you prove that you're wothy of this coffee.



The motivation works, they charge and kill the lonely security officer.



Meanwhile another squad takes position.



Bobs advance.



Reinforcements

Steve: Damn it, Marc stole my spare head again, so he could join JLSL's squd! We can't just leave it like that.



Overview

Turn 3

Eschatos

Zbigniew: Alright, things start to look good, you to, come here.



POV: You're super duper fucked.



Zbigniew: Hey, I'm not visible o the picture! Let's try again.

POV: You're super duper fucked.



Zbigniew's handcannon sends the fake Steve flying.
(He'll have to reload)



While the fire of NOSE security officers kills another legionary.



Immortals

Remaining immoratls charge Eschatos' position.



A legionary ABSOLUTELY SHREDS a security officer.



JLSL isn't as lucku, or rather that legionary lost his luck, as her clumsy attack knocks him back.



To add insult to the injury, she accidentally splashes coffee in his eyes.

Naze: AAAAAAAAA... Wait, that's very tasty coffee. Still. AAAAAAAAAAA

JLSL: Oopsie daises.



The rest of the army advances.



Reinforcements

Another squad of fresh recruits, ready to gather combat experience!



Piłsudski's plan succeeded, Escahto assault infanntry, the poster bois, arrive.



Overview

Turn 4

Eschatos

Assault troops are advancing.



And with some pew-pew they kill one junior legionary.



Zbigniew: Guys, cover me, while I'm reloading... Shoot them, or something!



Another junior legionary falls.



But JLSL manages to avoid the fire.



Immortals

JLSL: Okay, now time to get the OT chest! Bye!



She tries to spill coffee on her enemies, but spills it under her legs instead, slips and falls on her way to the OT chest.



Soldiers immidately run to protect her.



A junior legionary gets to eschato gunline, but misses his attack.



Three more rush to join him.



Tris's Mercenaries (Secret Faction #1)

JLSL: What's that?



Announcer: ITS TRIS FROM THE TOP ROPE WITH THE CHAIR!



JLSL barely avoids being crushed, thanks to the sacrafice of a bald legionary.

JLSL: I thought we were friends! You promoted me! And you're Warhead shard!

Tris: Did you really believe that? "Female warhead shard" as if women couldn't have more character than being a woman.



Mentor: Not bad. Next time be prepared for redshirts, Tris.

Mentor hits a legionary, enough to push him away, but not enough to kill him.



Three more mercenaries appear.



Anyway, the started blasting. Killing two Eschatos.



Overview

only the chosen may survive

I'm sorry for such a long pause, I hope that such pauses won't repeat and that this turn will make up for it.

Turn 6

Eschatos



Zbigniew: well boys I guess we're very screwed at this moment its time to RUN AWAY AND ALSO IF I DIE TELL ME WIFE THAT I CHOOSE TO BE d a p p e r!



Zbigniew: teleports behind you nothing personnel, kid.
[feat succesfull]



What follows is the worst shooting I think I've ever seen, all they achieved is destroying some rubble, Zbigniew had stood on.



Assault troops take positions.



And gun down the junior legionary who pretended to be dead.

Immortals



JLSL delights in drinking coffee, so she'll act after everyone else has finished.
[feat failed]



Legionnaires advance, too far to engage, they run.



A legionary throws away his shield and attacks Mentor.



His axe bounces off and he drops it.



Other group of legionnaires follow their targets, slaying everyone in their path.



Well, actually only slaying one guy in their way, the other guy is just pushed back.

Tris's Mercenaries



Tris swings her chair at JLSL.

Tris: Be died!



But it's difficult in such a constrained space, so she gets stuck underneath it.
[feat failed]



Gunners gather and start blasting.



after some more bad shots, they manage to destroy one shield of one junior legionary.



Mentor runs for the OT chest.



JLSL snaps out of the coffee drinking trance and rushes for it too.



And as they're about to snach it...



...the OT chest opens.

What follows is a storm. Nobody can see anything, but light.



What comes out of the light



is nothing like what had come before.



It's the

DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH

(DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH is Secret faction #2)



A weapon falls from the sky.



Admiral Brikus, and his armoured bodyguard teleport to the weapon.



Admiral Brikus: Bring it on.

(Admiral Brikus and his bodyguard are Secret faction #3)

Overview



Everyone, except for the DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH and Admiral Brikus and his bodyguard are stunned and will have reduced action die next turn.

Uh, I forgot to give new missions.

Eschatos, Immortals and Tris's Mercenaries: capture the Dark Blue Core

DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH: KILL THEM ALL

Admiral Brikus and his bodyguard: personally kill the DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH, if failed, personally kill a hero

Sorry again for a long pause. I had to take apart the battlefield, so for quicker rendering I removed corpses and dropped weapons

Turn 6

Eschatos



Zbigniew: my men on me, we need to regroup on east side!

NOSE operatives: sir yes



Zbigniew: you guys too, retreat to the east



Eschato goon: Sure boss, right away boss



Eschato goon: But why didn't you just shout?



Anyway, they retreat.



Zbigniew's team retreats too and prepares to shoot if someone invades their private space.

Immortals



Junior legionnaires: walks behind you nothing personnel, kid



boink His Bodyguard protects Brikus and is unharmed thanks to his armour.



Other junior legionnaires walk toward Tris's gunners, but only two get close enough.



Two is enough to kill a gunner, though.



The last junior legionary realizes he's unarmed, grabs guns and shoots Tris.



Another armoured guy blocks damage.



JLSL pours her coffe over the DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH's foot. Having hot coffee spilled over one's foot doesn't feel nice.
[feat succesful]



Then she critfails on her attack. She slipped in her own coffee. A hero critfails on her attack. Yes. Everyone, laugh at her.

Tris's Mercenaries



Mentor and the last gunner combine their powers, to... Deal 0 damage.



Tris swings her chair at the DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH's crotch.



But there's no weak spot.



She falls down, next to JLSL.

JLSL: Happens to the best of us.

Tris: Shut up.

DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH



The DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH picks up Tris, elongating its arm, and throws her, like if she was just a small figurine.



Mid-air a gunner replaces her, he flies straight through two junior legionnaires. He won't be coming back.



The DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH stomps.



splash



JLSL: Sure sucks to be this guy.
(last second redsirt from the other side of the battlefield)



DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH: FUCK I STEPPED ON LEGO

DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH: 5/6

Admiral Brikus and His Bodyguard



His Bodyguard: just standing there, menacingly it's kinda personnel, kid.



He slices a legionary in half.



Admiral Brikus: I always loved golf.



Admiral Brikus: Aaaand...



Admiral Brikus: Go!



The DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH twists its ankle and falls over.

DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH: 4/6

Overview

Turn 7

Reinforcements

Junior Legionary: You see this shit out there?

Smoking Tire: Yeah. I'm not going there.

Junior Legionary: Me neither.

Smoking Tire: You know, we're still enemies.

Junior Legionary: Oh, sure, go ahead.



Smoking TIre: Nothing personal.

Junior Legionary: Of course, it's strictly proffesional.



Reinforcements aren't coming.

Eschatos

Eschatos continue their retreat.



Both units.



Zbigniew: Why is it always me?



Immortals

JLSL drinks her coffee and prepares for a run.



JLSL: That's a cool weapon. Don't mind if I do.



JLSL: Well, I expected it to be on the head.



JLSL: Anyway!

JLSL managed to find a way to grab the Dark Blue Core, without dropping her coffee.

[feat succesfull]



Meanwhile, junior legionnaires attack Tris.



They manage to dischair her.



Other junior legionnaires attack His, without any effect.



Tris's Mercenaries

Tris runs for the Dark Blue Core.



When junior legionnaires are about to use the opportunity to attack her, Mentor gets in the way.



Mentor: Tris... I've taught you everything I know...

Tris: But... But you're too cool to die...

Mentor: Now go on... without me...

Tris: And Boulton wouldn't let you die, you're...



bonk

BoultonPaulDefiant: Don't break the 4th wall.



That being said, Tris runs for the Dark Blue Core and hangs on to it for dear life.



DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH

DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH: MERRY FUCKING MANLY SANTA DAY



The DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH prepares to make a snow angel.



Eschato goon: Woah, that was close, if it's arm was't so high...



Eschato goon: ...it'd have been a carnage.



Zbigniew (saved in the last second): FUCK FUCK FUCK



The DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH stands up and tries to kick the closest enemy. It's impossible, because the closest enemy is standing on it.



Admiral Brikus and His Bodyguard

Admiral Brikus: Hey big guy! Eyes down there. Bet you can't hit me with your sword.



Admiral Brikus parries the blow.



He grabs the DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH and throws it.



RULES OF NATUER

[feat succesfull]



The DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH is disarmed.

DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH: 3/6



His Bodyguard doesn't manage to do anything cool.



Overwiev

Battlefield:


DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH (it'll fall somewhere on the battlefield next turn):

Turn 8

Because of the length of this game and the amount of game ending heroik actions, I've decided to run this turn based on the results of heroik action rolls.


JLSL: Let it go!

Tris: I'm not gonna do a Frozen reference!



JLSL: You asked for this!

JLSL stabs Tris with her weapon.



But Tris has been waiting for this. She grabs the weapon



pushes JLSL away, grabbing the Dark Blue Core and impaling the DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH.

While Brikus is closing in for a strike.



As Brikus is about to strike and the DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH is about to hit the ground...



... an axe appears.



His Bodyguard: I can't let you die here, Brikus.



Admiral Brikus: Wait! I can't let her kill the DARK BL...

But before he can finish, they're teleported away, just when the DARK BLUE BEHEMOTH hits the ground.



CABOOOOOOM



Eschato goon: Sir, are you okay!?

Zbigniew: No!... I'm not okay... my own boys just died by the friking hands of a BIG BRIK, we supposed to protect but turned against us and we failed to do that! And then it f u c k i n g e x p l o d e d!



Zbigniew: Everything is not okay, how am I going to live with it, if mien own boys dies left and right with no way out?



Eschato goon: well, I know its hard to keep going but we have to keep going by move forward.
No matter what happens, you are not alone boss, we have each other, it's not there fault nor yours... It's okay to run away but it's not okay to let are enemies win by breaking us. We are strong, we are more, we are more than cowards and we can still stand together while the enemies are targeting each other. The boys ain't just fighting for the win, they are fighting for their family's so we're you boss.

He straights his hand, to help Zbigniew get up.

Eschato goon #2: Who wrote that?

Eschato goon #3: Surge, I think.

Zbigniew looks up at the goon.

Zbigniew: For now we'll fight and give em hell!



Zbigniew: Drop your coffe, you're under arrest.

JLSL: Aw, shit...



Meanwhile...

The dark figure departs.




The end

kino