I am going to post a few units every once in a while. This is mainly because my army is the polar opposite of Asterios; instead of a large, boring, uniform mass of identical minifigs, I have a gigantic amount of variation in units. And I want to write little bits of backstory for each of them. Yep. It would seem logical to include a group shot of my army, but that would spoil the fun.
Additional pics and backstory will be included in spoilers, for the poor people with shitty internets. Because I can't be arsed to scale my shit down.
So, let's get started with the
HEROES
-Bastian Armadeus
“All hail the Madasses, who will...
Oh, sod it. Speeches suck. Guys, rules are as usual. Minifigs are one point each, small vehicles is three, large vehicles six and that asshat over there nets you a bonus ten points. Yes, that one, Pseudo, the one with the copious amounts of flammable fixative in his stupid blonde hair. I'll get the winner a nice drink and a day off, now CHAAAAARGE!”
Role: Leader, juggernaut
Spoiler
Show
Leader of the Madasses, Bastian is a hulking mass of muscles with expertise in a wide variety of weaponry. Born on a large but rather low-tek planet, he lost his parents to the wildlife and learned to survive in the wilderness. He grew up to be the kind of man that strangles bears with bare hands. He also is, strangely enough, a bibliophile, and very adept when it comes to technical shit, building his own weapons. He created the Artificial Immortal Core, which can be used to teleport and rebuild anything registered in it, granting his entire army immortality.
He has a variety of weaponry.
The Black Betty combines the firing speed of a gatling gun with the stopping power of tankshells. It can easily sweep small vehicles from the map, outright murder any minifig and put dents into armored tanks.
The Wreckercannon charges up every turn, with an additional charge if Bastian opts not to move. The Wreckercannon produces a giant cannonball of plasma fired at madass speeds. The cannonball deals a lot of damage and tends to overkill, sometimes even through vehicles. Inspidered by the SBC Cannon from Serious Sam.
The Sawcalibur...well...it's a very, very large double edged chainclub. Bastian is muscular enough to swing it one-handed, and one swing is usually able to mop up an entire squad worth of minifigs. Remember that being assaulted by a man wielding a chainsaw 2.5 times the size of the average minifig and pissing your pants about it is perfectly acceptable.
The Handcannons are basically rocket launchers with an infinite supply of bomb. Unlike the other weapons (which are large and tend to get in the way), the Handcannons don't impair Bastian's movement.
All of the good stuff.
He has a variety of weaponry.
The Black Betty combines the firing speed of a gatling gun with the stopping power of tankshells. It can easily sweep small vehicles from the map, outright murder any minifig and put dents into armored tanks.
The Wreckercannon charges up every turn, with an additional charge if Bastian opts not to move. The Wreckercannon produces a giant cannonball of plasma fired at madass speeds. The cannonball deals a lot of damage and tends to overkill, sometimes even through vehicles. Inspidered by the SBC Cannon from Serious Sam.
The Sawcalibur...well...it's a very, very large double edged chainclub. Bastian is muscular enough to swing it one-handed, and one swing is usually able to mop up an entire squad worth of minifigs. Remember that being assaulted by a man wielding a chainsaw 2.5 times the size of the average minifig and pissing your pants about it is perfectly acceptable.
The Handcannons are basically rocket launchers with an infinite supply of bomb. Unlike the other weapons (which are large and tend to get in the way), the Handcannons don't impair Bastian's movement.
All of the good stuff.
“Could one of you boys go to the beertank and fetch me a new shirt? This one is soaked with blood. And on fire.”
Role: Hero, long range, anti-tank, anti-infantry, pyro
Spoiler
Show
Cassida's birth was a bit...odd, to say the least. About 20 seconds after Bastian screwed a bear to death out of sheer boredom, a little girl popped out. Just like her big daddy, she's a lover of ...let me rephrase that. Like Bastian, she has an affinity for heavy weaponry, as well as the sheer muscle to carry them. On the battlefield, she always shows up holding her two favorite guns, the Reaper's Handgun and Devil's Kiss.
The Reaper's Handgun is a bastard railgun, whose projectiles pack a nasty hull-piercing sting. Like a large fat bee, fired at supersonic speeds, while at the same time being made of lead. It's kinda lethal.
The Devil's Kiss is Cassida's flamethrower. It blasts fireballs around at high speeds, which explode on impact, making it an extremely effective solution to squads of infantry.
All of the good stuff.
The Reaper's Handgun is a bastard railgun, whose projectiles pack a nasty hull-piercing sting. Like a large fat bee, fired at supersonic speeds, while at the same time being made of lead. It's kinda lethal.
The Devil's Kiss is Cassida's flamethrower. It blasts fireballs around at high speeds, which explode on impact, making it an extremely effective solution to squads of infantry.
All of the good stuff.
“CKHAKHAKHAKHAAAAAAAA!”
Role: Villain, Anti-Minifig, pyro, being insane
Spoiler
Show
The fruit of labour that was a cloning experiment using a Warhead sphincter. Scientists tried to develop the Ultimate Weapon with the sphincter, creating a clone and of it and altering bits of its personality. For example, they changed Warhead's lust for moms into bloodlust.
Warheads Lust allows him to detect and count the amount of Moms within a radius of approx. 2 parsecs, and also differentiate fresh virgins from worn-out whores. Kinda powerful.
This experiment resulted in what can only be described as madness incarnate. A cackling monstrosity, communicating only through laughing, preying on everything it can sense, leaving a trail of bloody vapor in it's wake. If Warhead's head burns with war, then Pseudo Warhead's head is an inferno of it, blue-hot flames trailing it's skull as it walks, his frenzied cackle never stopping, always echoing in the mind of the victims who have yet to die.
Bastian simply recruited him by giving him fancy weapons, as anticlimatic as that might sound. Hey, people like shinies, I wouldn't blame him.
Pseudo Warhead wields the 1+4 Pronged Infernal Clawstick, which ignites those who suffer wounds from it with blue-white flames,
a modified Nova Sword nicknamed the Energy Well Blade, which combines the parrying aspect with the ability to store the energy of impact and firing it back as a sword beam,
and the Hellraiser Burstgun, which fires P-Warhead's own flames in a spread, though it will have to recharge with his energy for a turn afterwards.
Pseudo Warhead, while still having a smidgen of reason left, is way too insane to come up with cool heroic feats. Instead, he powers up as he kills, increasing his damage and movement. Like the rest of the heroes, he can tote large weapons around without being impaired too much.
Wepins
Warheads Lust allows him to detect and count the amount of Moms within a radius of approx. 2 parsecs, and also differentiate fresh virgins from worn-out whores. Kinda powerful.
This experiment resulted in what can only be described as madness incarnate. A cackling monstrosity, communicating only through laughing, preying on everything it can sense, leaving a trail of bloody vapor in it's wake. If Warhead's head burns with war, then Pseudo Warhead's head is an inferno of it, blue-hot flames trailing it's skull as it walks, his frenzied cackle never stopping, always echoing in the mind of the victims who have yet to die.
Bastian simply recruited him by giving him fancy weapons, as anticlimatic as that might sound. Hey, people like shinies, I wouldn't blame him.
Pseudo Warhead wields the 1+4 Pronged Infernal Clawstick, which ignites those who suffer wounds from it with blue-white flames,
a modified Nova Sword nicknamed the Energy Well Blade, which combines the parrying aspect with the ability to store the energy of impact and firing it back as a sword beam,
and the Hellraiser Burstgun, which fires P-Warhead's own flames in a spread, though it will have to recharge with his energy for a turn afterwards.
Pseudo Warhead, while still having a smidgen of reason left, is way too insane to come up with cool heroic feats. Instead, he powers up as he kills, increasing his damage and movement. Like the rest of the heroes, he can tote large weapons around without being impaired too much.
Wepins
lol j/k
