Mission: Reconnaissance
Wojtas Ciechowski: “Found any evidence for the presence of Axis forces, Marcin?”
Marcin Ciechowski: “Nah, just a broken scout walker in front of us, but it looks like it has been already abandoned... Wait, Wojtas! I'm getting strong signals from-”
: “RWWWAAAAAARRRRR!!!”
Wojtas Ciechowski: “What the hell was that?!”
Anton Durak: “XAXAXAXAXAXA!! There we see us again, Pshek scum! Prepare to meet your inevitable end, суки!”
Janna Kowalska: “Panie I Panowie, welcome to tonight's episode of:”
ULTRA MECHA COCK RUMBLE
Janna Kowalska: “Here are Janna Kowalska...”
Marek Baranina: “...and Marek Baranina, your hosts tonight!”
Marek Baranina: “Say Janna, you already mentioned earlier on, that tonight's fight will be particularly interesting. So, who is going to bash their metal skulls onto each other?”
Janna Kowalska: “Interesting indeed. This battle is transmitted live from the Magyar world of Sopron, where two hostile parties are going face each other off.”
Janna Kowalska: “To our left hand side, we have the two brothers Wojtas and Marcin Ciechowski. Both of them were raised inside the cockpits of mighty Titans to follow their father's footsteps. Unfortunately, the Great War separated these brothers, who now ended up serving the Confederate and Union armies.”
Crowd: *cheering in excitement*
Janna Kowalska: “And to our right hand side, we have Greta, the result of advanced Nutzee cybernetics and mutations, and Anton Durak, also known as the Butcher of Brest!”
Crowd: *BOOO!*
Marek Baranina: “Alright, now that introductions are over, we may begin with the actual fighting on the count of 3... 2.. 1..”
*RING-RING*
Janna Kowalska: “Durak is moving forward to Marcin and opens fire...”
Marek Baranina: “He doesn't seem to be that impressed of Durak's firepower. It hardly scraped off it's painting!”
Marek Baranina: “Wojtas also fires his shot at the wolf and...”
Janna Kowalska: “Unbelievable! The Wolf doesn't even bother with being hit by a big blue bolt of energy right at it's chest!”
Janna Kowalska: “It doesn't hinder her in any way, charging at Wojtas' titan!”
Marek Baranina: “I am amazed and shocked at the same time! What sick and twisted mind could have turned an ordinary she-wolf into such a monstrosity?!”
Marek Baranina: “If we're looking at Marcin now, we can also find him, shooting on Anton...”
Janna Kowalska: “But it doesn't do any damage, either...”
Janna Kowalska: ”Look, Durak is responding immediately with gunfire.”
Marek Baranina: “But this time, he is doing some damage to Marcin's titan.”
Marek Baranina: “Wait, what is he doing?! Did he just drop his gun?!”
Janna Kowalska: “He did! But why would he do this-”
Janna Kowalska: “Ah, fed up by all the gunfight, he is drawing another phase dagger from his back!”
Marek Baranina: “We're about to see some action, finally!”
Marek Baranina: “Just look at it! Marcin is stabbing Durak's mech like a maniac! He already destroyed his gun pauldron.”
Janna Kowalska: “Let's take a look at Wojtas, again. Once again he is trying his luck at shooting the she-wolf...”
*POOF*
Marek Baranina: “Nope, His giant shotgun overheats and explodes right in his hand.”
Marek Baranina: “Oh k***a, what a f*****g beast!!”
Janna Kowalska: “Greta is tearing Wojtas' titan like wet cardboard! Indeed, a bad day for our beloved pilot!”
Marek Baranina: “And it looks like Marcin isn't doing any better, as Durak is gutting his legs like a carp.”
Janna Kowalska: “Looks like Wojtas is in much deeper trouble, now that Greta pushed his titan over.”
Marek Baranina: “The defense systems of his titan are in a critical condition! Only a miracle might save him!”
Janna Kowalska: “If were taking a look at Marcin now, we can see him mastering the stabbing contest between him and Durak!”
Marek Baranina: “Indeed, Janna! That guy managed to sever the black mechs blade arm, with ease! Let's see, if the situation changed for Wojtas!”
: “RWWWAAAAAARRRRR!!!”Marek Baranina: “Eh! Not really. Just few hits and he's done, alrea-”
*SLASH*
: *weeps in pain*Marek Baranina: “Cholera, there's blood everywhere!”
Janna Kowalska: “Amazing! Wojtas freed himself from the she-wolf's grip and tore a grievous wound through her chest!”
Janna Kowalska: “Look, Marek! He's slowly getting feet.”
Marek Baranina: “Slowly, but surely.”
Marek Baranina: “We're now looking back at the duel of Durak and Marcin. The Butcher attempts to strike the titan, but Marcin swiftly moves aside from the blade.”
*STAB*
Janna Kowalska: “And right through the chest, he rams his dagger!”
Marek Baranina: “This is it, guys!”
Marek Baranina: “Marcin Ciechowski has beaten the Butcher of Brest, once and for all!”
Crowd: *cheers and applause*
Janna Kowalska: “In the meantime, the fight between Wojtas and Greta continues. He's about to lunge with his sword at the beast and...”
: “GRRRRR!!”
*SLASH*
: “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!”Janna Kowalska: “CLEAN CUT! He sliced right through her torso!”
Janna Kowalska: “It's official, the Ciechowski Brothers are the winners of tonight's episode! Together they have beaten the vicious beast and the notorious war criminal!”
Crowd: *thunderous applause*
Marek Baranina: “Thank you for watching tonight's episode of...”
Janna Kowalska: “Wait a sec, the she-wolf is still moving.”
: “RWWWAAAAAARRRRR!!!”
*SPLAT*
???: “Sup, lads.”
Wojtas Ciechowski: “Uh, tato?”
Marcin Ciechowski: “To ty?!”
Marek Baranina: “Could it be?!”
Janna Kowalska: “I think it's him: Wacław Ciechowski, Brik War 2 Veteran, UMCR Champion and the father of tonight's winners!”
Marek Baranina: “A family reunion, right after an epic fight... how wonderful!”
Janna Kowalska: “Definitely, but I think we should leave them alone for a while.”
Marek Baranina: “Alright guys, thank you again for watching tonight's episode of:”
ULTRA MECHA COCK RUMBLE
Janna Kowalska: “Stay tuned and see you next time!”
