Battle of the Maren Turn 1(COMPLETE)

Post by **Silverdream** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 5:56 pm

THE BRITANNIAN LEAGUE

The Anzacs sprint up to cover, but some roll short of their sprint rolls.

The Spy moves up the most.

"That shaggy haired moppet should be holding back the jerry like I told him so, where is he?" (Failed Feat)

James DeSilva decides to call his son. "Son, I need ye to come and give yer Pop some help with the Jerry"

"What's wrong old man, the jerry making boom on your frozzle wozzle?"

In space surrounding Byron's Dreadnought, where sound particles aren't heard due to the space between oxygen molecules. "I DINNAE ASK FER YA SHITE WEE ONE, I ASKED FER YE TO GIT OFF YER LAZY ARSE AND GIVE YER POP SOME ASSISTANCE"

Being a good boy, Byron teleports in.

*FWOOMPF*

*PLAKOOO*

"Hey, have any of you guys noticed how feminazis only feed black muslim homeschoolers?"

That was kind of rude for the brave woman on the field. I wonder how she's holding up.

PFOOOOOO

Her uterus, unable to take the pressure off of her anus, explodes.

The two men next to her are now in the fetal position, trying to forget about their sweethearts back home and their delicate uteruses.

Not one to quit after a critical success, Byron fires the Anal Disruptor at the horde of former barbarians.

It falls upon a soldier, who in blinding rage fires wildly....

And then he gets a heart attack.

"Now let's all rejoice and sing our anthem to scare the enemy."

"What did 'e say?"
"I fink he said to sing"
"Bastad, I enlisted to avoid the glee club"

The remaining troops divide evenly on the walls.

PIRATES NEXT.

Post by **Ham** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 6:05 pm

Lol, nice reference to Zulu with the singing.

Post by **Silverdream** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:14 pm

!THE PIRATES!

In a drunken, poetic phase usually reserved to the Irish, Finlay babbles on...

"By the rolling hills and glens, by the hairs of Wallace's beard, I summon thee."

He gets a pretty decent roll(Red is for, green is against).

So a cloud that came all the way from Glasgow arrived and rained down a pool of cold loch water.

And out came a giant spurdog with a pair of wheels to travel on land.

Everyone with a melee weapon went outside the walls. Most didn't do very good on their sprint rolls.

But the guy with a chainsaw bayonet ran past all of them.

"Uhh, guys?"

The guitarist tries to play a belly busting solo, but he just can't get it right.

Post by **piltogg** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:43 pm

ah.. so this is what it looks like inside silva's mind...

Post by **Zupponn** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:51 pm

piltogg wrote:ah.. so this is what it looks like inside silva's mind...

Post by **thade** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:52 pm

I asked for bagpipers, I got a landshark. This is an acceptable exchange.

Post by **Silverdream** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 9:09 pm

Fynnlund Alpine Troops

Because Falk is uncreative and a waste of a human brain(move up and shoot guys nearest), here is me playing for him. Karretsu may play the Fynns next turn.

The car mounted ice ray creates the great fynnish siege weapon.

A ramp made of slippery ice and snow.

The officer leads them in single file. There is a good chance of dying for all of them, but they know they're going down in the fires of badassery.

3 of them survive the landing.

The officer uses his cheap molotov to start a fire on an Anzac. It spreads.

The LMG opens up on the disorganized lines.

The result is a crapload of dead people, and a hitpoint off of baldie.

The rifleman fires point blank at the token steam punk guy, who died as he lived.

BoBby Hayha chooses his target and fires.

He misses and kills the rifleman.

The heavies move up.

And the chainsaw bayonet pirate is dead.

Post by **Killer Karetsu** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 2:56 am

Hey thanks! It's a bit rude for Falk but meh. Are you going to send stats?

Post by **Falk** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 10:30 am

I'll try to be more creative in the next forum battle

Post by **Killer Karetsu** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 2:04 pm

I think we can give him a second chance. What do you think silver?

Post by **Silverdream** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:52 pm

THE BAVARIAN REUZENMACHT

The Riflemen that aren't afflicted with PTSD, exploded utersus syndrome or heart attacks move up.

They are followed by the German Shepherds and Snipers.

Meanwhile, the Savage Valkyries take to the sky, and yell german at the Britannic defenders while the officer goes forward on his skis.

"Sie sind hässlich!"
"Großbritannien ist albern!"
"DERPEN HEIMEN SCHMIDT!"

"Get up you dirty hun bastards! My Grampa saved every penny to buy a farm that was stolen by anti-semites and you die because of a heart attack? An exploded uterus?"

Not wanting to feel guilty, the soldier who experienced a heart attack gets up.

The PTSD inflicted soldiers get up too.

"A little help here?"

The woman is now a living, shooting shield. This is what happens when the first round gets more crits than more brikwars game.

The Jerry's positions.

Boers and Cultists next.

Post by **Lord Mercat** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 10:42 pm

Oh wow, that turned out better than I could have hoped, totally awesome! Should I send next round orders now, or wait till you have the whole first turn up?

Post by **Silverdream** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 10:58 pm

Lord Mercat wrote:Oh wow, that turned out better than I could have hoped, totally awesome! Should I send next round orders now, or wait till you have the whole first turn up?

Wait till I have the turn finnished. There might be some interesting stuff that happens at the end.

Also, Falk you've got control again.

Post by **Lord Mercat** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:14 pm

Post by **Predator** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 12:19 am

I already send my orders a while back. Should i re-send them?