ORK!

[Scottsman]

Thinking fast (relativly speaking) I grab a bobbit, tie him to the end of my rope, and use it as a flail. If possible, I throw another obbit at the hooded figures.

[lawmaster]

Shoot any armed bobbit and knife any too close

[Killer Karetsu]

Me take lawmasters bow and shoot spear with it at hooded creatures!

[lawmaster]

Pat dog on back for daring to do that and say "you daring you join me and dork?"

[SnakeMittens]

Me swing axe to clear path through bobbits to bigger than bobbits so me can killem.

[knolli]

There is circle of clear space around the orcs at the main door. Wherever Big and Spork go, the peasants flee like a swarm of fish. Spork sees a corpse across a table. It has a rusty sword stuck in its neck. He pulls out the sword, grabs the corpse by the head (20. vs 3). After he has hit here and there, he hurls the limb corpse at the hooded human, but he evades (10 vs. 11)

Sork wants to fight the human, but there is a Bobbit with leather armor and short sword blocking the path. Again they exchange blows, but neither is able to land a blow (8 vs. 9 and 7 vs. 9).

In the meantime Big finds a group of four comming for him. They are armed with farming tools and try to surround him. He swings his big hammer in a great arc (20 vs. d6: autohit) and smashes one of the brave defenders, but can't pary all their counters (6 vs. 9., 8 vs. 6 and 6 vs. 4) Two pitchforks hit him on the belly. That hurts.

Dork and Pork make arrows and stones rain down on the puny creatures. It's impossible to miss the big throng at the backdoor. Dog grabs the bow from Pork and tries to shoot his spear at one of the humans, but fails miserably (1). The bow is not made for projectiles of that dimension. After three failed attempts Dog gets angry and simply throws the spear. It vanishes somewhere in the hayloft and is answered by a scream of pain. Pork takes back his bow and continues to shoot arrow after arrow.

Half of the peasants has fled the barn through windows and the backdoor. The humans lift their hoods and draw their swords. Under the cloak they are wearing a coat of arms over chainmail. By now the fire Pork had laid is spreading. The let half of the barn is covered in flames. The shining light draws strange patterns on the shining black metallic Thing in the center of the barn. It has four wheels and is about four steps long but only slightly higher than a Bobbit. You have never seen anything like this before.

[lawmaster]

Yell out "Cover me" and run into the thing since I so small.While running use the dager on anyone too close. Try to figure out how to work it and use it for destructive purposes

[knolli]

I forgot to mention that this thing has windows but seemingly no way to enter. Other than through the window, that is.

[lawmaster]

Then to get in use my dager to break a window

[Killer Karetsu]

Dog jump into hayloft and try to find prey. Then me take spear and be ready to throw it at stunties trying to do somethin 'unny. (a kind of a response action?)

[Keldoclock]

"BOBBITSES HURT BIG! BIG AM HURT YOU NOW!"
Big tries to enact bloody revenge on the farmers. He might have been considering destroying the cannon, but now his only desire is to butcher and eat the delicious hate-meat of the bobbits.

[Silverdream]

TAKE METAL THING FOR ORKS BACK HOME. SLING THE HUMANS.

[knolli]

The Thing looks something like this:

And most likely this is the Holy Present from Krom you were sent out to get. And at least Dork remembers that the shaman warned you NOT TO DAMAGE IT! The others probably have forgotten about that already.

Pork dashes past Big and Spork and after kicking some corpses out of the way, stands on the bonnet of the car *cough* I mean Thing. With his dagger he smashes at the front window, (5 vs. 6) but a fine cleft is all that he can produce.
"Get away from there, you filthy beast!" one of the human fighters shouts at Pork, followed directly by the tip of his sword (9 vs. 10) but he can't pierce Pork's chainmail.
Two other fighters try to get at Pork, but one goes down when a stone makes him see stars (16 vs. 6). Dork gives Pork a thumbs-up, and reloads his sling.
The other human has to change his plans when an angry orc swings a rusty sword at him (15 vs. 11) and cuts through the chainmal at this sword arm. The pain makes him slow but as weak as it may have been, by some stroke of luck he hits Spork (5 vs. 1, at 2d10+3 vs. 1d10. Double fail. lol). Now both are bleeding from the right arm.
"BOBBITSES HURT BIG! BIG AM HURT YOU NOW!" A powerful stroke ends the life of two of the stupid farmers (24 vs. 6 and 3). The last one is trying a last futile attack, then lets go of his weapon and makes a run for it.
Snork's oponent seems to be a tough one. Finally Snork's axe bites its way into flesh (9 vs. , while the sword scratches harmlessly over the metal breast plate. The Bobbit still doesn't give up hope.

Whatever prey Dog accidentally hit he wants to claim it. Two Bobbitses armed with short swords try to intervene while Dog climbs the ladder (10 vs . 8 and 5 vs. 7). One scratches him, but is repayed immediatelly (11 vs. 7) with a hard kick in the face. There is a dead body here pinned to the next post with a spear.

Most peasants have fled the building. The fire is spreading further, licking at the support beams of the barn and climbing up the walls. An oil lamp on a table explodes in a rain of sparks. The air gets heavy with smoke. It bites in the eyes and it gets harder to breath.

[Killer Karetsu]

Me suggest we getta hell outta here! Push dat black thingy off da barn! Shaman might like it!
Then Dog readies his spear and jumps down from the elevated position, spear first, into either of the human fighters.

[lawmaster]

Grab a bobbit and throw him into fire and scream at the sky "OH GREAT KROM I OFFER YOU THIS BOBBIT AS A SACRIFICE SO PLEASE I BEG OF YOU PLEASE FIX THE WINDOW" He then worships the sky and then helps dog push thingy out of barn