The Tuba Meister
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samuelzz10
- n00b
- Posts: 814
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 7:09 pm
- Location: planet express
The Tuba Meister
Hey guys, I've started writing a book! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yri ... sp=sharing
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samuelzz10
- n00b
- Posts: 814
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 7:09 pm
- Location: planet express
Re: The Tuba Meister
feedback?
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Silverdream
- Nice use of noise
- Posts: 6080
- Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
- Location: Sweating like a guy in a basketball manga
Re: The Tuba Meister
Okay, here's what I think:
6. Too many run-on sentences. Try to limit one thought to one sentence and reserve run-on sentences for when you need them. Otherwise it's just a mess.
7. These chapters are really short. I don't even really think you need to have different chapters until maybe chapter 5.
8. I think we've been over this before, but the name Ching Chong Wong Bong is racist.
9. The content is good, and the humour is really unique and good. Parts of it are like reading an acid trip. I really like the ridiculousness of it all, and I would read more if you keep writing.
6. Too many run-on sentences. Try to limit one thought to one sentence and reserve run-on sentences for when you need them. Otherwise it's just a mess.
7. These chapters are really short. I don't even really think you need to have different chapters until maybe chapter 5.
8. I think we've been over this before, but the name Ching Chong Wong Bong is racist.
9. The content is good, and the humour is really unique and good. Parts of it are like reading an acid trip. I really like the ridiculousness of it all, and I would read more if you keep writing.
This sig is too fucking large: show anyway
lol j/k