Valorians - NPC'd, No orders
The slap fight continues! The Tratt Bot bot responds to The Zapbot 69 (his name changes with my memory), but fails to kill it.
Blockguy: "Ugh, my hed..."
Blockguy gets his shit together, and rights himself. He hatches a truly horrible plan.
Blockguy: "Hey! Hey! Look at me! Luk at me! I'm so interesting!"
Major Ervin: "THE FUCK DO YOU WANT NOW?!"
Blockguy rips of his shirt, revealing his Six flab for the whole world to see
Major Ervin: "Oh...my...Colette..."
Too horrified to even conceive twisting his face into an expression of utter horror and terror, Major Ervin's body shuts down, rendering him unconscious. Blockguy cackles demonically as his foe falls to the ABS earth.
Trattorians - Colette
Dr. Langlois: "This pitiful, indigent rescue force is all the Gödel-damned bureaucrats at the Decagon could come up with? When I abscond from this wretched tomb of a compound, I shall ensure that certain people lose their contracts and all livelihoods!"
The "feat" works, with the not Decagon-dispatched (they are the only remaining bodyguards from her shuttle) Major Ervin waking up to the familiar sound of a business woman bitching.
Major Ervin: "Must...escape...SOMEONE HELP ME...PLEASE!!"
The robot advances, rolls a critfail+Langlois's bonus, and fails to even scratch the Droideka because of the Critfail.
Peaches and Mandolorians - Scratch and Scratch
After thinking for exactly zero seconds flat, the remaining Peaches in the the Garage run like little bitches for yet un-breached walls. They trample Blockguy, but all he gets is a massage.
Blockguy: "Ow--Ohhhhhh, lower, OHHHHHHH Right dere, yesssss!"
PLF Trooper: "Ew."
The Peaches in the prison (who can't escape due to a certain power armored badass) take Langlois hostage. She's to kick to eat a Peach rifle butt, but not quick enough to dodge the grapple.
Peach Bitch: "ALRIGHT! DROP YOUR WEAPONS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! WE HAVE THE LEMON WHORE! DROP YOUR WEAPONS OR I'LL TURN THIS CELL WALL PINK!"
Above them, in the prison cell, Samson takes the rocket and waits...
Emprya - Nimja
The Empryan trooper hails Space Eren (you guys forgot about him, didn't you?). Eren hails back...
...and catches a shotgun, juggles his now three weapons, gives one of his Soldado a saber, and strikes an epic pose.
The trooper then moves to the rifle slit, misses the Droid within, and the ranger moves towards the door.
ARC - Motorhead Fan and My Imagination
So pumped up at finally being able to get to use the huge fucking gun attached to the hovercraft, the ARC Trooper driving guns it while his buddy literally turns into Superman, firing away, as happy as can be.
Gunner: "Gun it! YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Driver: "Hang on, buddy! This is going to hurt!"
The Bucket O' Heads is knocked away, the cauldron almost knocks the ranger down, and the Cyclopes still doesn't give two shits.
WHAM!!!
The hover craft slams into the building, sending the Peach Bitch flying into the cell, Dr. Langlois through a wall, and crushing the Peach Sniper under debris.
Dr. Langlois: "Holy Curie--AHHHHHHH!"
The mounted Emerian MG transforms the Peach Bitch into ABS Swiss cheese, slicing off her head and arm with brutal efficiency. Think smart, buy Vixen Inc. goods!
Dr. Langlois: "By Watson and Crick, I can--"
Dr. Langlois passes out from her traumatic experience.
Samson: "You fuckers! I've been waiting far so long for this moment!"
Samson's gun blows it's load at the ARC hovercraft.
It's super effective! The Hovercraft is demolished with a roll of 7 for damage. The Driver is vaporized. The Gunner, meanwhile, lands near the Emerians.
Gunner: *cough* "Worth...it..."
Meanwhile, the Phalek climbs the Garage wall and winds up on top of the building.
Emerians - ME
Unfortunately, I don't have the pic of the Cyclopes firing. So yeah.
The Cyclopes looked around him, saw ruin and smoke, and then spoke loudly through his helmet's speakers:
"Al diablo con eso, vete a la mierda!"
Sadly, Samson did not join his fellow Peach Supports in hell/Natalya's "special" place for Peaches. I do, however, make good use of my cotton balls. Better use them for something before I use them to polish my ROTC shoes.
The LMG trooper runs in, and sprays the Droid with tiny metal balls.
The shitty Valorian droid returns to it's proper state: scrap metal.
Eren gathers the EPÉEN forces together (all of them turn to face him). He speaks in a loud, heroic voice. Music begins as he speaks.
Eren: "Brothers (and Phalek) in arms, we have gathered here this day to face down a force that threatens the fate of the West Arm and all of EPÉEN: Peaches. Not just Denmark must fall, but all friends of the Peaches! We must strike them them down to the last infant! Only the Yellow must remain! We shall quash them this day, and send a message to ALL peaches and their supporters. Not even their STDs, SHDTs, ACs, or ossum tanks shall protect them from our wrath!. Death to all Peaches! Salve el ARC, Salve Emprya, Salve Emeria, SALVE EPÉEN!!"
The effect of his speech and pose is utterly profound! The troops, Phalek and Minifig alike explode into fierce battle roars that make even Carter, in the Command Center, shit his stolen Assyrian pants. The speech also causes the Cyclopes to turn his giant ass laser gun into a Guitar, and the Riot Legion in the back become his drummers, and they explode into the Sacred METAL. All EPÉEN Forces receive a +3 bonus to rolls next turn. Additionally, the Medico in the back heals up the fallen Madridian trooper, who also joins in the shouting despite just having a bullet pulled out of his chest.
Dweller - Silent_Sigfig, but NPC'd this turn
The Dweller shrieks in rage.
The Dweller: "FUCKING DAMMIT!!! Not only do you make so much damn noise, steal my gold, BUT YOU BROUGHT YOUR FUCKING METAL TO MY DOORSTEP!"
The Dweller grabs the enchanted sword and a musket, and tries to burp the Mando Veteran to death. Instead, he only causes him to facepalm.
Refusing to even look at his foe (he is listening to the METAL as well), it's no surprise that he misses badly.
OVERVIEW SHOTS
(Note the Peaches + Carter running to defend the next area.)
SEND YOUR ORDERS FOR TURN 5
EDIT:
I am very sorry for the shit quality of the images this turn, and you can blame me AND Apple. Carry on.
