Sins of the Mobfather

[Duerer]

So much bling ... BEAUTIFUL!

[Silverdream]

This is awesome.

[cleanupcrew]

I see you took the Raid on a Mexican Drug Lord link I shared with you to heart.

[Quantumsurfer]

Gorgeous. Anything this reference heavy deserves to be lauded.

[Semaj Nagirrac]

I like! You have many good pieces! It is very to much lucky!

[Zupponn]

[Warhead]

Seriously nice touches all through this story. Love the character Spades Shady. Dialogue..? I guess I have missed a lot of the goings on in here over the past years to be up to date enough to get some of the... er, subtler?.. in jokes but I enjoyed the ride none the less. Nice work Scratch!

[cleanupcrew]

Seriously nice touches all through this story. Love the character Spades Shady. Dialogue..? I guess I have missed a lot of the goings on in here over the past years to be up to date enough to get some of the... er, subtler?.. in jokes but I enjoyed the ride none the less. Nice work Scratch!

Scratch.

Your epicness summoned Warhead back from the dead.

[Silverdream]

Seriously nice touches all through this story. Love the character Spades Shady. Dialogue..? I guess I have missed a lot of the goings on in here over the past years to be up to date enough to get some of the... er, subtler?.. in jokes but I enjoyed the ride none the less. Nice work Scratch!

Scratch.

Your epicness summoned Warhead back from the dead.

Spoiler

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Actually I told him about it in chat.

[BFenix]

So many references. So many details. Such an awesome scenario. Such a badass godfather.

Superb work, Mr. Scratch.

[Scratch]

FLASHBACK NARRATION
Mobfather Scratch: “Most of the modern conception of the Space Mafia has been under me and my clique’s rulership, before I became Mobfather, an entirely different group of thugs ran the mafia, they were called The Wheelchair Assassins, or Gli Assassini Sedia Rollents, in our native Space Sicilian.”


Mobfather Scratch: “They gained their condition through a childhood game called “The Cult of the Next Train” which if you tried to pronounce in Space Sicilian, you would probably choke on your own tongue. The game worked like this, 6 children, mostly sons of Sicilian GT miners indebted to ZMC, would line up on the side the tracks for the nightly 10:25 train. When the train passes by, all the children have to leap across the train at the last second, with the child who jumps first being shamed and the child who jumps last and survives is given great honor and social status.”


“As you can tell from this type of game, the interplay between gauging the courage of your fellow players and your own survival odds led to a lot of children just barely leaping across before the train impacts, causing them to have their legs blown off violently or paralyzed from the waist down while also becoming venerated for their bravery.”


“After the ZMC left Space Sicily when the mines dried up, the cult itself ended with the end of the train shipments. But the scores of crippled children draped in battle glory remained. As they grew up, they became the dominant group in the Mafia, having a controlling influence until recent times.”


“Chief amongst these Wheelchair Assassins was the previous Sicilian Mobfather, Silent, and were it not for my recent exploits in making the Mafia a major galactik organization, he would probably be credited with being the most influential Mobfather in the Mafia’s history. After he contracted the Peach Virus from a prostitute he took a vow of silence. With that new moniker, he ruled the Mafia for 20 years without speaking a word. Now, in consideration for your pruning, let’s skip all the boring build up of my rise to power right to where I challenge him for rulership of the Mafia.”

YEARS IN THE PAST, BUT NOT MANY…


THE ERATOR CLIFFS OF REEF-RIDGE, CEREMONIAL MAFIA DUELING GROUNDS


Underboss Scratch (Past-Scratch): "So, thank you for accepting my invitation to this shirtless cliffside ceremonial duel, Mobfather Silent. I’ll let you know that I am well aware that this will be a bit of a one-sided monologue, but I’m sure you can manage. I’m going to ideologically address why I’m taking you down, then I’m going to take you down. Sound good?"


Mobfather Silent: "..."
Underboss Scratch: "The 'Wheelchair Assassins' and their inward focus has crippled the expansion of the Mafia,
since you and your cult have taken over we haven’t expanded a foot beyond Sicilian Space.
You let your own lack of physical mobility impair your mental mobility, you are stuck in your ways and cannot see anything past your own damn wheelchairs. If your faction stays in power, the mafia will die a slow death of starvation. I cannot let that happen."


underboss Scratch: "To accomplish this, I need to remove not only you but your entire group. Thus, I am going to kill you and the other 4 wheelchair assassin godfathers in the next hour and 45 minutes, give or take depending on traffic."

[Scratch]

FALCONE SPACEPORT

'Police' Officer: "And the left taillight is out."


Godfather Fthagn 'one-leg': "Hey, that spot's handicap parking, I've got a custom license plate and everything."
'Police' Officer: "Well I'm sorry sir,"


'Police' Officer: "But your meter is expired."


PALERMO VILLA

George 'Smiley': "Hey Miss Godfather Duke, we've got, a package for you from Underboss Scratch."


George 'Smiley': "So you better open the fuck up."


THE BAR

Capo Frey: "hey Godfather Wolfe, I've got a message from Underboss Scratch."
Godfather Wolfe: "What is it? I'm drinking and eating a pie."


Capo Frey: "He says 'The Lannisters send their regards', motherfucker."

AN ALLEYWAY, NEAR 'COSA NOSTRA' PIZZERIA

James 'Croc' Mabub: "Hey Godfather Borja, Underboss Scratch has a message for you."
Godfather Borja: "What?"


James: "Out with the old, in with the new."
Godfather Borja: "Why you little."


Sound of rapid-fire buckshot hitting the torso of a legless man
James: "Requiescat in Pace."

[Scratch]

Mobfather Silent: "..."
Underboss Scratch: "Oh I know that you, as part of your ‘inward focus’ policy, have been extensively preparing for a coup, and I don’t expect the first attempt to work."


Godfather Fthagn: "Well you can send it to my lawyer, IN HELL."


*THWAP*
George 'Smiley': "Hurk!"


Jamie 'The Walrus': "Shit, that pink-haired bitch is a step ahead of us, CALL BAC-"


*THWAP*
Jamie 'The Walrus': "Ack!"


Godfather Wolfe: "Well you can shove those regards up your ass, I can quickdraw a sniper rifle than you can pull a trigger."
Capo Frey: "Oh shi-" *Sniper Shot*


Underboss Scratch: "But, we have backup plans. I wasn't named 'Magnificent Bastard of the Century' by RHYME magazine for nothing, y’know."


Godfather Fthagn: "Honestly if they think they can get me like that they've got another thing coming, I'll fly over to him and beat his ass myself if need be."


Godfather Fthagn: "What's that ticking noise?"
KABOOM!


Sargent: "Alright prepare to breach in three, do not attempt direct engagement with the Duke, our goal is to flush her out. Commandos, you ready?"
Commando: "When you are, sir."


Godfather Wolfe: "Honestly kids these days, thinking they can take a Wheelchair Assassin in a quickdraw, better a knife in the dark."
Mack the Knives: "That can be arranged."
Godfather Wolfe: "What?"


*Rapid stabbing and slicing*
Godfather Wolfe: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

[Scratch]

Underboss Scratch: "Honestly I expect the second wave of attacks still don’t kill them. These people have been in power for years, of course they will be made of iron."


Godfather Fthagn: "Aaaugh, FUCK, SHIT, FUCK."


Godfather Fthagn: "Suprise! Fthagn 'One leg' has a robotic leg! You fuckers are going to get what's coming to you, I'LL TAKE YOU ALL DOWN! THAT WAS VINTAGE 3VIL, IRREPLACEABLE, SO COME FIGHT ME!"


*thwap thwap thwap thwap* *thwap* *thwap*
Assorted Elite Troops: "Aaaugh, ow, fuck"


The Duke: "TIRO DUAL, PIERCING SHOT!"
*CRUNCH CRUNCH*
Commandos 1 and 3: "What the?" "She's firing from all the windows!"
Commandos 2 and 4: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"


Commandos 1 and 3: "AAAAAAAAAA!"


Underboss Scratch: "But, we have something you aren't prepared for, outside help. Specifically Venetian Heavy Weaponry."


*DICKSLAP*
Godfather Fthagn: "What the fuck?"


*KRAKOW*
Godfather Fthagn: *elderich death scream*


Venetian Heli-Tank commander: "Target neutralized, reporting back to base."


Venetian High Explosives tech: "firing heavy ordinance payload at the residence of "The Duke".


*PCHOOOOOOOOO*


*CHOOOOOOO- Thwap*

[Scratch]

Underboss Scratch: "You know that expansionist state to the North West? Venice, I believe it is. Well I've made a deal with them, they get the my fealty with conditions once I hold this coup, the Space Mafia will have exclusive rights to sweep up whatever little underworlds are on their current or future conquests, this backwater gang-state will be a national monopoly."


Underboss Scratch: "Once you and your little clique are dead and gone, I will expand the Mafia out of this backwater of space and into the galaktic sphere, with no other gang to stop us, and the backing of a legitimate government, there is no limit to our expansion."


Underboss Scratch: "My leadership will bring a glorious new era to Sicily, *fft* and the mafia as a whole, *fft* and there’s nothing you can *fft* do to stop me."

*fft*


Underboss Scratch: "Did you just shoot me 4 times in the heart while I was monologuing? Fuck"


Mobfather Silent: “...”


*thud*