Battle in the Chat: Stag Party (O:DC)

[cleanupcrew]

Bavarian member of the Reichstag, Herr Dossel, and his wife Frau Dossel, are enjoying a wonderful view from the balcony of their home on Bavaria. Suddenly a loud knocking on their door interrupts their moment.


Herr Dossel: Vut's the deal here?
Bavarian Knight: Zere's a Trattorian drone attack scheduled on your house at ze end of five turns. Ve need to evacuate you and your wife.


Bavarian Knight: Ve'll be using zis Space Mafia limousine for zat purpose, so it vill be less conspicuous when you try to leave Bavarian orbit.


Bavarian Knight: Unfortunately, zere's some normal Trattorian troops here as well trying to prevent zis.

Bavarians: mgb

Objective: Evacuate Herr Dossel

Trattorians: colette

Objective: Kill Herr Dossel

Space Mafia: Scratch

Objective: Evacuate Herr Dossel


Overview

[cleanupcrew]

Bavaria


The four Bavarian infantrymen combine fire on the Trattorian officer.


One Bavarian crit fails, but the others take down the officer.


Herr Dossel sprints towards the limousine.


He calls out to the Trattorians, pointing out that they will probably die before they discover anything mathematically significant. It works and demoralizes the Trattorians (-1 skill penalty).


The wife leaps into the knight’s arms with success.

[cleanupcrew]

Trattoria


Three Trattorian troopers combine fire on Herr Dossel, but are unable to harm him or his redshirt.


The other troops fire on their Bavarian counterparts.


They succeed in killing two of them.


The dreadnought moves up, knocking down a tree in the process, taking aim at a distant target.


It eviscerates Herr Dossel’s wife with its size-two claw cannon.

[cleanupcrew]

Space Mafia


Spades Slick and One-Eye mount speeders.


They head towards the Trattorians, guns blazing.


Spades Slick: Hate to blow all of your heads off with this big fucking gun! Real sorry about that! My bad!


Not losing his momentum, Spades jumps off his Gatling speeder...


... and prepares to speed-loot the Reichstagger’s house.


Unfortunately, Spades slips down the stairs as he finishes collecting his loot.


He ends up buried in a loot pile and also accidentally sets the house on fire.


The other mafiosos get in the limo.


The Rockfish pilot attempts to fire the limo’s oversized guns and missiles, but can’t figure it out.


His Rockfish brain can understand, however, the deleterious effects of smashing. The dreadnought loses a size point and its claw.


The other two mafiosos take potshots at the remaining Trattorians.


They succeed in killing one.

[cleanupcrew]

Bavaria


The knight, stricken by his lost love, revs his speeder up.


He rams it into the Trattorian dreadnought, taking out both of them.


Herr Dossel throws out the unarmed Rockfish and takes control of the space limo.


He lifts it off...


...and flies to safety outside of Bavarian orbit and the Fleck system, to some TA sanctuary world.

Bavarian and Mafia objective achieved.

[cleanupcrew]

Trattorians


The two remaining Trattorians rush at the remaining Space Mafia.


One-eye meets his end.

[cleanupcrew]

Space Mafia


Rockfish takes the speeder and fires at the Trattorians, but misses.


Headbutting seemed to yield better results for the dim-witted Rockfish.


Spades uses an explosive to dislodge himself from the loot pile.


He then uses a feat to climb into his own inventory and escape the incoming Trattorian drone.

[cleanupcrew]

Some time later...


The last Trattorian soldier sees something white streak by in the sky.

Trattorian Soldier: Hey, Trattorian thing! I’m still alive and I’m down here! There’s these scary-looking heavy Bavarian guys and I need back up and please don’t leave me oh god come on and help your fellow Trattorian...

Trattorian Drone: This is AI Pascal-8704 reporting no signs of the Bavarian Reichstag member. Returning to Trattorian staging base on Bavarian moon.

[Vami IV]

Nice battle.

[motorhead fan]

poor trattorian guy. but a was a nice battle as vami said.