Prinz Karl “Gustav”: Silverdream
The Jaeger sets off to find a suitable choke point to hold with this his Rocket launcher, his progress is impeded by the weight of his weapons.
Venice Away: Quadruple.Digits
The unarmed infantry decides to book it, climbing into the small motor boat, before ramping it off the corpse pile and bailing out last second.
The boat itself lands harmlessly, bouncing off a rebel corpse before skidding to half without exploding.
The soldier ends up halfway in halfway out, gripping the ornate and useless 1 brick high safety rail.
The APC backs up a bit and angles itself, due to his gymnastics feat last turn, Captain Red stays on perfectly even with the APC in jerky motion.
The APC launches itself straight into the rebel lines, just barely out of the range of the hostage protection area.
Only one man is killed however, as the others in the path made a successful bail roll.
Gingerbread Mercenary makes a record leap all the way to the stone path.
While the two Itchys and a peach land near Sgt. Slab.
"Oy, stop that!" the bartender shouts as more of his cool dragon windows are broken, the two Venetian troopers start sprinting towards the bandstand.
One of them makes it to the drum set, but the other comes just short of getting onto the stage.
The man on Commander Squatthrust's bike makes a daring rescue attempts, successfully drive-by snatching the hostage from the Dimmy, however he doesn't get quite to safety, as he runs out of movement right behind enemy lines...
The officer makes a strafing run at Captain Red, hitting with two out of three shots, unfortunately not dealing enough damage to beat the Captain's armor.
Major Squatthrust butts his head into the bar, heroically shouting to the bartender "GET ME THE LARGEST DRINK YOU HAVE, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL."
The Bartender, always prepared for an alcohol emergency, pulls out the largest container he has, his infinity-tech 1999 Trophy Beer Stein for "Best Bartender in the Galaxy."
Using his feat from last turn and his beer-bending prowess, the Bartender quickly mixes the best mixed drink in existence, blending dozens of hard liqueurs and a few girly drinks into a frothing concoction.
He hands off the Trophy Stein to Slab, the brew a boiling OT from the high potency alcohol. "Thanks mate"
Lieutenant Squatthrust uses his old Kappa Epsilon Gamma to chug the infinite brew in record time.
"Hmm, I'm not really feeling the burn yet."
BELCH "Ah there it is"
Due to the success of Slab's feat and the critical success of the Bartender's feat, Slab is healed of his damage and given the powerful Steinsaber, "Natty Slice", which has the potential to become a Heroic Weapon if it does enough cool things.
He takes out his drunken rage on the prone rebel, slicing him neatly in half.
The other troops near the stage climb up and start taking their spots on the band. One in particular takes the roll of Lead Singer after being revealed to have a totally metal haircut.
The guys in the gatehouse snipe Milhaus and 2 other rebels.
Venice Home: Alex
The troops continue arming themselves at the armory.
General Carver takes a shotgun and grafts his knife to it as a bayonet.
The Military Neckbeard cracks his knuckles and starts RTSing the base up.
He spends his Vespene gas to upgrade the M8 unit into a full fledged M16 chaingun bot.
And then uses his remaining minerals to buy another M8 before being told to construct additional pylons.
The Space Detective heads outside with his meatsheild to look for a gun, the buggy rider tries to toss the gun to him but fails horribly.
Buggyman then enters the K9 vehicle haphazardly, having already used his action.
The Fire Sniper takes another shot into the middle distance.
He headshots a rabble, pulping the fig from the neck up.
Captain Red’s Revolutionary Red Army: Piltogg
Captain Red attempts a heroic feat with his OTC, to saw the door off the APC.
Unfortunately the dice aren't with him and he overbalances, sending himself and several corpse crates over the side with him.
He lands in a corpse pile, disrupted.
The Diver bisects the bailed boat pilot, letting even more blood into the water.
Exactly no one on this side of the map manages to hit their target.
Itchy starts the climb onto the roof of the APC's battlements.
The other Itchy attacks Slab, where an overenthusiastic redshirt tanks the non-lethal damage for Colonel Squatthrust.
Cpl. Slab responds by impaling the rat on the end of his beerfire sword.
Elle Driver revives Milhaus.
Bartender: Bfenix (NPC'd)
Noticing the bar is horrendously messy, the Bartender decides to clear the tables before the lunch rush.
Unfortunately he trips midway through and knocks every single item in the bar over.
Giving up on that, he takes his rightful place as Lead Guitarist in the band.
They then start playing the battle's theme song Thela Hun Gingeet
Team Sheep: Lawmaster
Two sheep head off towards the APC
While the other two head towards the portal, their speed boosted by SN dice.
They arrive just in time to see the arrival of something large, green, and with chainsaw fingers.
FACTION ACTIVATED: Jolly Green Mech and the Looters as played by Silent-Sigfig
All the banging and clattering appears to be attracting others however...
*KICK* "THE FUCK'S ALL THIS NOISE?"
SECRET FACTION ACTIVATED: Angry Warhead as played by Brikguy!
"An OTC?"
"And some kind of Beer Sword?"
"THE FUCK'S WITH THESE GUYS HAVING COOLER SWORDS THAN ME?" New Objective, defeat the other heroes in combat and steal their swords!
Meanwhile in the Medical wing...
Il Duchessa: "The contractions are worsening, and it feels like there's a jackhammer pounding on the inside of my stomach."
Doctor Almagna: "Oh that's just the baby trying to physically punch his way out, it happens a lot with the children of heroes, try punching him back, show him who's boss."
Prinz Karl "Gustav": "Dear if you squeeze my hand any harder it's going to pop."
OVERVIEWS
