Human Behavior Arc Chapter of Fuck the Police

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Previous soap: http://brikwars.com/forums/viewtopic.ph ... 07#p304007
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urrbhgC8PB0
Meta note: This is the beginning of an on-going story that is a sequel to Forum 14 which is itself a sort of unofficial sequel to Bjork Wars (although I think Natalya said that it was cool). Also anything that Silva wrote in Hand in Glove in relation to how characters interact or previous relationships is canon unless otherwise contradicted.

Tales of a Future Star Empire: Arc Human Behavior Arc: Chapter of Fuck the Police (1)

Time: G.R. 2015
Place: A small outpost in Bavarian Controlled space.
Magician's Alliance is transporting supplies to Bavarian troops who are dug in on a top-secret mission. Along the way they stop at a small tavern and begin to eat dinner.


Two young recruits stand off from the rest. They are Wilhelm der Zauberer and Frederick Uberwachen.
Wilhelm: Frederick, dis is ze wurst.
Frederick: Nein, Wilhelm. Dis is ze wurst. Dat is ze chicken.
Wilhelm: That's not what I mean. I mean dis life is not for me. We worked so hard to get into ze Magician's Alliance and now we are playing delivery boy for ze Bavarians. I wanted adventure! Not this.
Frederick: Everyone starts at ze bottom. We must work our way to being ze top. Our magic abilities are still too small to become ze bigshots. Be patient, friend.


While the two young men below discuss the meaning of life, a lone figure sits atop a hoverbike. Watching, waiting.


The first guard barely notices the bike before it's too late.




MA Woman: Men! Put down ze wurst and be grabbing ze weapons! Intruder has been sighted!


MA Woman: Fire!


The woman, cut in half by the hoverbike gurgles out her final words, blood and spit frothing out of her mouth.
MA Woman: Get... her...
Her guts also fall out of her completely bisected torso which would be a slippery mess for a motorcycle but not so much for a hoverbike.


The silent assassin begins to dismount the bike.




A graceful, perfect 10 dismount.


Meanwhile the MA mooks retrieved their weapons.


The ninja pulls out a sword.


MA Man: My axe! The bastard sliced my ax clean in half!


Like the wind, the ninja begins a beautiful dance of death.




MA Officer: We have you surrounded. Come out with ze hands up.


The ninja drops the sword to the ground. It makes a vague clunking sound.
MA Man: Hey, that sword is wooden! He isn't even using ze metal sword!
The ninja pulls out a small white tube.
MA Officer: What is zat? Pick your sword up again and fight us like true man!


MA Officer: Scheiße...






The MA Officer takes a lazer sword to the gut.




MA Captain: Hey! Ninja! We have a trained sniper and you are still surrounded. Surrender at once!


In a flash, the lazer sword is flying through the air and the ninja is running towards two patrolmen.


The sword decapitates the sniper as it continues its arc.


The ninja picks up a gun lying on the floor and shoots one of the men.


Throwing the gun at the other man, the ninja races towards the hover bike and the incoming lazer sword.









Another one bites the dust.


The captain gets into the patrol car and a game of chicken ensues.


Wilhelm: The captain is pretty badass.
Frederick: You said it.


Steel grates on steel as the two vehicles collide. The hood of the car wraps around the bike.


Unfazed, the ninja jumps onto the car and stabs the lazer sword down into the driver's seat.


Explosion is imminent, obviously...

[Natalya]

Fuck the police coming straight out the underground.

[Silverdream]

Why do Bavarian soldiers always have to die in soaps?

[Natalya]

Why do Bavarian soldiers always have to die in soaps?

That's the whole point of soldiers.

It is theirs to do and die.

[stubby]

Why do Bavarian soldiers always have to die in soaps?

Because there are so damn many of them. "Crunch all you want, we'll make more."

The camera flash is not doing any favors here. Can you adjust the lighting?

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@Silva they're Magician's not Bavarians, wow.

@stubby nah, it's "supposed" to look like this. Also I already took all the pictures so whatever. I subscribe to the Ed Wood school of story telling.

[Tzan]

People pay extra for computer graphics cards that can do a bloom effect like that.

[Bluefog]

Dat glare doe.

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(pt 2)

After the phenomenal explosion the Captain walks out of the car, miraculously uninjured, dragging a sledgehammer behind him.


Captain: I'll get you for this...


With blinding, ninja-like speed the ninja appears behind the Captain. Anyone who has ever watched 90s anime knows what will happen next...


Captain: What?! But how could you move so fast?!
The captain's body catches up with the extreme movements of the ninja and is cut to pieces.


Wilhelm: I give up! It's not worth it to die for an empire that doesn't even appreciate mein magical genius.
Frederick: Wilhelm! How can you give up so easily? We're magicians and magician's never give up!


Frederick lifts his rifle into the air and charges at the ninja.


And gets bopped on the head. He falls on his backside in a daze.


The ninja ignores Wilhelm and heads directly to the treasures the Magician's were guarding.


The ninja ignores the gold completely, still searching for something. Behind the ninja Wilhelm muses to himself.
Wilhelm: If it's not gold you're after than what? Our orders were to deliver the supplies but no one told us what they were.


The ninja has found the item that the ninja was searching for.


Object in hand, the ninja walks forward. Wilhelm back up.


Bjork_bot: Sir, I have secured the artifact. I will require pick-up however.


A blinding light, like a flash blinds Wilhelm and the surrounding area in a bright white glare.


???: Excellent work, BB. My upgrades seem to have been effective.
BB: Yes, sir.
Wilhelm: What? Who are you?


Ib: I am Quantum Surfer Ib. You could consider me an ascended being from a parallel but slightly different realm of existence.


Ib: You are part of the Magician's Alliance, correct? Bjork, why was he not exterminated?
BB: The subject surrendered and my scans show he has some untapped magical abilities. I thought perhaps he could be useful to us.


Ib: Interesting.... Take my hand, young man. And what's your name?
Wilhelm: Mein name is Wilhelm der Zauberer and...
As Wilhelm takes Ib's hand a rush of magical energies surge into him. He lets out a bestial scream and falls to the ground.


A bolt of pure magic shoots from the hand that touched the Quantum Surfer.
Ib: Yes, very interesting indeed...


Frederick: Freeze! I won't allow you to escape!


Ib steps forward to take care of the interloper.
Wilhelm: Wait! Sir, he's mein friend. Do you have to kill him? You have ze item you were looking for. If you let him go I will pledge mein eternal loyalty to you. I've never experienced such power. I vant more. Please sir, spare him and take me with you.


Frederick's gun disappears from his hand.
Ib: You should be grateful to your friend then, I suppose.
Frederick: He's no friend of mine! He has betrayed our empire and everything zat we stand for! Go, you coward!


Ib: Well, that's that. Let's go.
The three disappear in another bright light.


Hours later another MA Captain arrives on the scene.


Captain: We've investigated, sir. It seems another one of your kind was here. He stole a minor artifact and absconded with one of our men. According to a patrolman Frederick, the magician defected to join the intruder.
Silverdream says nothing for a long while.
Silverdream: Take me to meet this Frederick.


Silverdream: I have heard your report, patrolman. What would you do if you were in charge of the Magician's Alliance?
Frederick: I vould hunt down ze traior and reclaim the artifact for Bavaria! It was not theirs to take and no one should treat our magics lightly! But, if I may ask, who are you?
Silverdream: It's difficult to explain but I am a being from another realm who exerts some control over both the Magician's Alliance and Bavaria. In a way you could consider me the Commander of the MA.
Frederick snaps to attention.
Fred: Sir!


Silverdream smiles under his helmet and hands the boy his silver sword.
Silverdream: Take this blade, it was forged out of my silver dreams. It is called the Silver Dream Sword and it is a powerful magical focus. I am promoting you to captain and assigning you to travel the realms to find Quantum Surfer Ib and his minions and to reclaim the artifact. Come with me, Frederick. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.


Silverdream: "... and that's what happened."
Scratch: Well it seems we all underestimated Ib's anger at being betrayed.
Duerer: When I fought him I didn't imagine he would go to such lengths for his petty revenge.
Quantum: Are we sure it's just petty revenge? What was the artifact he stole and what is he trying to do? It's usually forbidden for us Quantum Surfers to go down the the minifig realm.


Duerer: I will assemble the Surfers. Everyone needs to hear about this.
Quantum: And I will check up on a few things. I have a feeling this is just the begining.
The two leave.
Scratch: By the way, Silva. I liked your story a lot but what was with all the glare?
Silverdream: Oh, I just thought it's be more dramatic. I really like lens flare effects. Also it was night when all this happened and I couldn't see very well so I wanted to brighten it up for you guys when I told it.
Scratch: Oh, I guess that makes sense.

THE END

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