Welcome to the Beige Carpet

[Vami IV]

I will round house kick him like my great martial arts master of old. my little ponys.

That word buttplug is the gift that keeps on giving

penis

[stubby]

As a side note, for anyone curious about the mechanics, I'm partly using this battle to test out the new changes to close combat.

Dogdu is the super-skilled member of the Rainbow Knights, so his Skill die is a supernatural d12. This means that all his melee damage will be in d12s rather than d6es, which might end up kind of crazy. I guess we'll see!

It also means that his attacks and parries are a lot more likely to hit as well, so I wonder if we'll just see these two guys parrying each other's blows endlessly and have to come up with some other strategy. One of the other big changes is that I'm removing the -1 Parry and Riposte penalty (had to do it for Squad Close Combat to make sense, since you won't be keeping close track of which specific units in a squad are parrying and/or counterattacking), and Parrying now also gets the same Size Bonus as attacks for the Size of the weapon or object parried.

Let's see, what else changed. Wounds don't cause movement penalties quite like they used to, but that shouldn't make a big difference here.

Sir Dogdu's stats are as follows (for both Dogdus):

• SIR DOGDU
  4" Giant Hero
  
  Move: 8"
  Skill: d12
  Armor 4 (SL 1/2) x4"
  1 Heroic Feat (cliche: Batman)
  
  Artifakt Heavy Armor (Shielded, but no Slowing)
  4" Shield Use:8 Effect:Shielded x4
  4" Sword Use:5 Damage:4d12

[Warhead]

BEIGE CARPET LIMBO HELL... who how true! Unleash the carpet muncher minions!

Does anyone else think Pedonuker looks like the nerd in Robot-chicken?

[stubby]

Previous: Post 308369

DOGDU VS. DOGDU, TURN 1



Old Dogdu grabs New Dogdu by the cloak.

OLD SIR DOGDU: Your fancy-pants capery is a tactical disadvantage.




But when Old Dogdu yanks on the fabric, New Dogdu easily slips out of it and throws it in Old Dogdu's face, obscuring his vision. (Critical Success)

NEW SIR DOGDU: Old news, but that's what I'd expect from last year's model. You think I didn't see that move coming?




NEW SIR DOGDU: Just like you didn't see this one!

Before Old Dogdu can recover, New Dogdu bashes him with his shield (and takes his cloak back). Old Dogdu fails to parry.




In a single fluid motion, New Dogdu follows up the shield bash with a My Little Pony kick.

NEW SIR DOGDU: THE MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP

OLD SIR DOGDU: Son of a bitch!




D12 Critical Success! Old Dogdu goes flying, 14" away. The beige carpet is soft and does no impact damage; Old Dogdu is Disrupted but unharmed.

NEW SIR DOGDU: And they say you can't teach an Old Dogdu new tricks.


END OF TURN 1:

OLD SIR DOGDU: 4/4 HP, Disrupted

NEW SIR DOGDU: 4/4 HP


Next: Post 308939

[aoffan23]

Jesus Christ. The Rainbow Jellybean Apocalypse was epic enough, but this brings it past ZZD levels of good.

[Vami IV]

Jesus Christ. The Rainbow Jellybean Apocalypse was epic enough, but this brings it past ZZD levels of good.

Not yet. Don't do that.

[stubby]

Jesus Christ. The Rainbow Jellybean Apocalypse was epic enough, but this brings it past ZZD levels of good.

ZZD had heroic duels in another dimension too, if I remember right. I'm still playing catch-up.

[Arkbrik]

Feat: Having prepared for the eventuality of having his personality split in two, Old Dogdu grabs the Evil-Twin-Repellant-Dogspray from his belt.

Attack: Moves towards New Dogdu and sprays the Evil-Twin-Repellant-Dogspray in his general direction.

[Vami IV]

I would recommend devouring your foe's flesh (100% ofc) to gain his strength, prove you killed your doppelganger (or make for an awesome future plot), and affirm once and for all who is the true / supreme Dogdu.

[devincp]

Feat: taking advantage of the fact that old dogdu is dirupted New and Improved Dogdu sprints across the 14" and gives Old Dogdu a my little ponys kick in the crotch.

Action: knock the anti evil twin spray can out of old Dogdu's hand by chopping off his hand.

[Warhead]

Would kicking his crotch work on account of lack of crotch?.. Maybe interpret crotch for whatever Dogdu uses in place of a Crotch... which would be what? His Iconic chest symbol? Iunno.

[stubby]

Minifig's crotches are inaccessible if not absent, but schizophrenic beige carpet manifestations have all kinds of things minifigs don't have. Like knees.

[Warhead]

Knees!..How revolting! Will their evuul never stop!

[Zupponn]

Arkbrik's going to lose because he keeps revealing his orders to the enemy.

[stubby]

Arkbrik's going to lose because he keeps revealing his orders to the enemy.

I think in cases where there are reaction orders, it makes sense to just hand initiative to the first guy instead of rolling for it. It puts the reacting guy at a little bit of a disadvantage, but it's the only way the action sequence makes sense.