Comrade JAM: Billy, I know I sound sappy and I know people probably are unsure of me because all the old JAM's were basically varying degrees of cruel, but I pledge to be a great leader based on my positive reinforcement and my ability to connect with the average soldier.
Billy Gibbons: Right on.
Comrade JAM: And thanks for coming with me man, you standing by me means a lot.
Billy Gibbons: It's no trouble. It's the least a blues man can do.
Comrade JAM: Troops, thank you all for joining me, I know there are a lot of other things you could be doing right now, so I'm glad you're joining me and I'm glad for your service, I thank you for your sacrifices over the years, and I thank you for your continued support and for your commitment to excellence. The Army of JAM has become a feared and respected force in the Brikverse thanks to all your efforts. This has nothing to do with any of the JAMs and all to do with your savagery and successes on the battlefield.
Comrade JAM: I don't want to keep you here all day, the main purpose of this assembly is to announce a glorious battle royale for the position of General in the Army of JAM. I have many officers and seem to have an opening for a General. I have also decided that we should be embracing our Brikthulic ways... so we shall have this contest in his name. All hail the bringer of Chaos, the most unholiest of the unholy, Brikthulu!
Troops: Hail Brikthulu!
Comrade JAM: I've decided to open this contest up to outside interests too, in order to patch up alliances and work on new ones....
Comrade JAM: This contest is very important to me, I feel combat is the best deciding factor for this type of thing. The only type of General I want to serve under me is one who can think quick in the heat of battle.
The troops listened intently, they couldn't help but be impressed by how genuine he appeared to be. Comrade JAM called for his officers to step forward.
Comrade JAM: Thanks for being here, thank you for your service, each of you would make excellent Generals but there is only room for one.
Suddenly a man in a black cowboy hat stepped out.
Jonah Hex: Is there room for me?
Comrade JAM: You proved yourself in battle time and time again, but you defected, an offence punishable by death. I understand your reasons though. I will allow you to participate in this contest.
Jonah Hex: No bullshit?
Comrade JAM: No bullshit.
Comrade JAM: Alright, I don't really think there's much more to go over. Thank you all for coming out, wish good luck to our contestants.
Comrade JAM: I really meant it. Each of you deserve this. In Jonah's case he's getting his shot at redemption, but any of you are qualified so good luck to all of you and thanks for your commitment to the Army of JAM.
