Beginnings

[Legomc]

My name is Cadren Artarice Legomc, and this my my story. Let's begin 15 years ago.


I lived with my father and brother on αναγκαία θυσία, the moon of Θάνατος επικείμενη, an uninhabited fiery wasteland. The other planet is called επικείμενης καταστροφής, home of the Greek Empire. Welcome to the θα καταστραφει Solar System. My father is a retired LegitEye. He adopted me and my brother when we were still young and began training us to control the Farce. He also had us duel with fake Beam Sabers. Everything began during one of these sparing matches. It was a week after my brother 18 birthday.



Master Wishanou: Remember Casmeer, you need to be patience.
Casmeer: Yes father.
Master Wishanou: Begin.



Clack!



Cadren: Man, you are so patient.



Casmeer: AAH!



Cadren: And that makes it 10 to 2.
Master Wishanou: Get ready to begin again.




Master Wishanou: Now Cadren, I have told you before that taunting is for the weak.
Cadren: Yes father.


At that moment a Greek Soldier ran in.



Soldier: I have orders from the Emperor to bring Casmeer Dracsis Legomc to the baracks on επικείμενης καταστροφής for immediate training. CLOan ships have been spotted 5 light years away and more soldiers are needed. As a Greek Citizen, it is Casmeer's duty to join the army.



Master Wishanou: Casmeer, you must go.



Master Wishanou: Go pack you things, I have a present for you before you leave.

[Kommander Ken]

Good start, looking forward to the rest.

[Legomc]

Casmeer: One month.


Casmeer: One month and I would have gotten my Beam Saber.


Casmmer: Fuck the Greeks and their army.


Casmeer: They will pay.


Casmeer: They will fucking pay.


Ten minutes later...

Casmeer and the soldier were load his few belonging into a προπέλα truck.



Master Wishanou: Casmeer.


Master Wishanou: This is for you.


Father presented him with a Beam Saber.


Casmeer: But you said that I wouldn't get it for another month.
Master Wishanou: Do you not want it? I wish I could have trained you more.


Master Wishanou: Use it wisely. I don't want to regret this decision.


Casmeer: You won't.


Master Wishanou: Farewell Casmeer. I hope to see you again.


Casmeer: Yeah. Later.

[Legomc]

Location: Military Base on επικείμενης καταστροφής.

Soldier: Here are your barracks.


Soldier: Inside you will find your uniform.


Soldier: When your changed, meet me by the Command Center. Sgt. Denthorn wants to see you.


Camseer: Understood.






Soldier: The Sargent is inside.



Sgt. Denthorn: Hello private.


Casmeer: Hello Sargent. I was told that there were CLOans seen headed to this planet. How soon can I kill the bastards.


Sgt. Denthorn: CLOans? PRIVATE SHARKFIELD HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT THEY ARE
CLONES NOT CLOANS? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE UNTIL YOU LEARN THE DIFFERENCE.
Pvt. Sharkfield: Sir, yes sir.


Sgt. Denthorn: Sorry about that. That's the fifth time this week.


Sgt. Denthorn: Now, as for why I called you here. We need starfighter pilots. How does shooting shit in space sound?
Casmeer: Fun.

[Legomc]

Later that evening...

Casmeer: Take me away from my home, lie about the enemy, and don't give a shit.


Casmeer: Fuck all Greeks.


Woman (in a British accent): We could not help noticing that you do not appear very happy to be here.


Casmeer: You the hell are you? Better yet who are "we"?
Woman: My name is Natalie. Who I work for doesn't matter. What is off utmost importance is the matter at had.
Casmeer: And what is that exactly.
Natalie: As you are aware, there are clone ships headed for this very planet. Aboard one of these ship is a missile powerful enough to destroy a small planet.


Natalie: Unfortunately, we have reason to believe that the clones do not intend to use said missile.
Casmeer: What does this have to do with me?
Natalie: You are to be trained as a pilot, are you not? We need you to make sure that the missile is launched.
Casmeer: And why should I kill millions of people? You haven't argued your case too well so far.
Natalie: If you were to destroy επικείμενης καταστροφής, we would give you what ever you want, do anything you ask.


I would do anything you want.


Natalie leans over and kisses Casmeer.


Natalie: Just think about it.


Casmeer: I don't need to.


Casmeer: When do the ships arrive?

[RedRover]

Thinking with the other head, nice

[Kaplan]

Interesting story! I'm waiting for more

[Silverdream]

Sorry guys, I need to sleep with this British girl.

[lordintype]

Uh-oh, what about Whishanou?

[Zupponn]

I think he already slept with her.

[Legomc]

1 week later...

Battle raged in θα καταστραφει. The Greek κόκκινο αετό squadron are trying to gain control of the Clone war cruiser.
Red Eagle Leader: Red Eagle 4! Get back in formation.


Red Eagle Leader: Red Eagle 4 do not go near the cruiser. We are to wait for Commands O.K.
Red Eagle 4: I can't do that. It's not personal...


Casmeer: It's just business.


Red Eagle Leader: Red Eagle 1 to Command, a rouge pilot just boarded the clone cruiser. Seeking permission to board ASAP.


Inside the vessel...

Casmeer: Fucking idiots.

Spoiler

Show

GIF idea courtesy of BFenix

[Zupponn]

The running on the wall was both clever and awesome!

[BFenix]

I think you could put those last shots together into a gif.

[Kommander Ken]

Yeah, this Matrixy slow-mo stuff is awesome.

[Legomc]

Casmeer: Fire the missiles.


Clone Pilot: You don't have permission to give that command.


Casmeer: Really?


Casmeer: Here's my permission.
Clone Pilot: Damn! I'll fire the missiles.


Clone Pilot: Ten seconds till launch.


Clone Pilot: Five seconds.


Clone Pilot: Initiating laucher.


Clone Pilot: There you go, several million death on the way.





*BOOM!*


Cadren: I sense a disturbance in the Farce.