[RK17] Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

They're all the rage

Moderators: BrickSyd, Kommander Ken, Duerer, Elmagnifico

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

[RK17] Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:56 pm

Image
Monarch of BR 2,017

Rural outskirts of planet New London, Britannian League

Image
A luxury hovercar speeds across the landscape.

Image
Trattorian Dr. Chhabra steps outside.
Dr. Chhabra: Did we really have to meet all the way out here? My office would have been fine, nobody would have heard.

Image
Lord Wildman: You really haven't changed at all since college, Dr. Chhabra.
Dr. Chhabra: Just cut the slack.

Image
Lord Wildman: I don't know anything.
Dr. Chhabra: You're bullshitting me. You're an executive there, you got to know something!
Lord Wildman: This is how you treat an old friend wanting to see you? Even so, I'm really sorry about this.
Dr. Chhabra: About what?

Image
The bushes rustle as Britannian forces step out.
Dr. Chhabra: What in the actual fuck? I thought we were friends? Did fucking set me up.
Lord Wildman: No, I'm really sorry.

Image
Dr. Chhabra: The Immortals? You rascal, you traitor, you're betraying the entire galaxy!
The Accountant: That's him! That's the mark! Seize him! We need his proprietary information for my plans!

Image
Trattorian Soldier: You won't be taking one of our Citizens if we have anything to say about it!

Image
United Systems Alliance forces: Hey, get him!

Image
Overview.
Teams wrote:Britannians: Ham Scratch
Image
Objective: Help Immortals achieve theirs.

Immortals: Quantumsurfer
Image
Objective: Either get information out of Dr. Chhabra or get him off the board for later.
Notes: Interrogation will be a skill vs skill roll with Dr. Chhabra being treated as an ordinary minifig with 1d6 skill.

Trattoria: Kommander Ken
Image
Objective: Escort Dr. Chhabra to safety off the board.

USA: Silvadream
Image
Objective: Capture Dr. Chhabra (escort him off the board) for interrogation.
Turn order: United Systems, Immortals, Britannians, Trattoria
Miscellaneous notes: Dr. Chhabra is NPC until a faction seizes him and then pushes him around I guess.
Last edited by cleanupcrew on Wed May 26, 2021 10:33 pm, edited 5 times in total.

User avatar
RedRover
I want you to be
I want you to be
Posts: 2706
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2015 5:36 pm
Location: CA
Contact:

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by RedRover » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:13 pm

You should give him a resist role against any action other factions (minus trattoria) make him do.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:15 pm

USA

Image
The hero calls his friends on his bluetooth headset.

Image
The feat crit fails, hurting the Murican economy and resulting in an order to preserve ammo (halving skill penalty on all USA troops). The hero balls up and cries like a baby.

Image
The troops nonetheless fire on the Immortal VTOL.

Image
For their trouble, 2 crit-fail and trip over themselves (disrupted) and only 1 manages to hit with the skill penalty. The shot harmlessly bounces off of the Immortal vehicle.
Last edited by cleanupcrew on Wed May 26, 2021 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:52 pm

Immortals

Image
The Pequod lifts off and turns, firing everything at the USA.

Image
The pilot crit fails, however, resulting in a bunch of guns overloading and exploding.

Image
The Immortals rush the Trattorians in a line. Although two of them crit-fail and stumble, the rest hit.

Image
The Trattorian robots prove to be a miserable failure, all being reduced to a heap of scrap metal under the Immortal fire.

Image
The Accountant: You fucker! You banking fucks! I’ve got you now, you piece of minifig scum.
Immortals have seized Dr. Chhabra

Image
The Accountant: In fact, let me show you!
The Accountant attempts a feat to headshot the Trattorian soldier and blow his brains out with a calculated aim.

Image
Instead, the feat fails, ricocheting off of the Trattorian soldier’s shield and hitting one of his own troops with enough force to penetrate its phalanx shield.
The Accountant: Oops.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Jan 11, 2017 10:28 pm

Britannians

Image
Lord Wildman: As a good Briton, I always carry warm earl grey on my person. Would you like a spot of tea, good sir?
Dr. Chhabra: Ah, yes, I would very much like that. Finally, some civility in this barbarity.

Image
Lord Wildman: WELL HOW ABOUT YOU GET A TASTE OF THIS BOILING HOT TEA IN YOUR FACE YOU BLOODY BLOKE!
Dr. Chhabra: AHHHHHHHHH FINE I’LL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT STOP IT!

Image
Lord Wildman: Good, now tell us everything you know.
Dr. Chhabra: [information]
The Accountant: We have the information we need to further the Immortal plan.
Immortal & Britannian objective achieved.
Lord Wildman: Wow, he broke easily.

Image
Lord Wildman: Hi, yes, go and financially ruin Dr. Chhabra’s socialite life by destroying his contacts’ fortunes. (feat successful).

Image
The rest of the Britannian infantry line combine fire on the Trattorian soldier.

Image
The soldier bites the dust.
Last edited by cleanupcrew on Wed May 26, 2021 6:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Jan 11, 2017 10:48 pm

Trattorians

Image
The Laplace hovertank drone runs over the big cluster of troops in the center of the board, killing 2 Britannians, 2 Immortals, a lawyork, and also totally inadvertently Dr. Chhabra. Another Immortal survives but is disrupted, while plowing through all those troops inflicted 1 point of size damage on the Laplace. Lord Wildman and the Accountant are redshirted, however.

Image
The Laplace then fires its gatling guns at the Immortal Pequod, inflicting a point of size damage, but finds its main gun too long and unable to target the Britannians.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Jan 11, 2017 11:00 pm

USA

Image
The USA troops jockey for position, trying to bypass the Immortals’ shields.

Image
Their efforts are successful, obliterating 4 Immortal troops.

Image
Hero: Hi, I’d like to place an order for shares of LIFE. The magazine, not the cereal.

Image
By purchasing shares of LIFE, the hero successfully revives Dr. Chhabra.
Dr. Chhabra: What the fuck.
Last edited by cleanupcrew on Wed May 26, 2021 10:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Jan 11, 2017 11:18 pm

Immortals

Image
The Accountant: Fuck you, I’m going to cook your books and make you go bankrupt on those LIFE expenditures.
The feat fails and the hero makes a ton of money.
The Accountant: What the fuck ever.

Image
The Accountant: Get up. We’ve got places to go.
Dr. Chhabra: But I’ve got a meeting with my clients at -

Image
Dr. Chhabra: Oof!
The Accountant: Hurry the fuck up and get us out of here!

Image
The Pequod jets its engines and flies off the battlefield.
Immortals have left the battlefield.

Image
An overview. I should have posted one after Turn 1.
Last edited by cleanupcrew on Wed May 26, 2021 6:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Jan 11, 2017 11:34 pm

Britannians

Image
The Britannians clamber on top of the Trattorian tank as Lord Wildman splashes more boiling tea onto the Trattorian drone’s sensors.
Lord Wildman: Get a taste of earl grey, you barmy arsehole wanker!

Image
The feat is successful, the Laplace tank going berserk and running over the USA infantry, killing them all. The physical opposition of the troops also deals another point of size damage on the tank.

Image
As a final insult, Lord Wildman aims a splash of more boiling tea at the hero’s face, setting it on fire.
Last edited by cleanupcrew on Wed May 26, 2021 6:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Jan 11, 2017 11:46 pm

Trattorians (Ham took over for Ken)

Image
The Trattorian tank spins its turret around, knocking all the Britannians off.

Image
It then fires 5 missiles at them.

Image
The explosions kill all of them, including Lord Wildman unfortunately.
Britannians eliminated

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by cleanupcrew » Wed Jan 11, 2017 11:50 pm

Image
The hero wakes up to realize that although he made a lot of money from the Accountant's botched feat, the scorching tea burned his hair off and permanently left him bald.

With Trattoria and USA the only teams left on the field, it's game over. Immortals win (with Britannia as support), and Scratch (Britannia) gets MVP award for most entertaining feats and game moments.
Last edited by cleanupcrew on Wed May 26, 2021 6:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by cleanupcrew » Thu Jan 12, 2017 12:59 am

Sigma Legion Flagship INF Gomorrah, neutral space in the Northern Spirals of Nehellenium Galaxy

Image
The Accountant: My lord, I have accomplished my mission and have brought forth a prisoner for your glory.
Warhead, Sigma Shard: WELL DID YA’ BRING ME ANY NEW BOOZE TONIGHT?

Image
The Accountant: No sir, I have recovered valuable information that I believe, with further raids, could potentially disrupt the Anti-Immortal Alliance as well as complicate their logistical sup-
Sigma Shard: BORING!
The Accountant: I have also captured a Trattorian.
Dr. Chhabra: Please, sir spare my life! I have no quarrel with the Immortal empire, and I really need to make a client meeti-!

Image
The Sigma Shard leaps from behind his desk, cleaving Dr. Chhabra’s head off with a single swing of his OTC.
The Accountant: My lord, he could have served as a valuable hostage or perhaps a bargaining chip during negotiati-

Image
Sigma Shard: ARE YA’ QUESTIONING MY LEADERSHIP? YOU’RE NEXT.
The Accountant: I serve at your pleasure, my lord.
Last edited by cleanupcrew on Wed May 26, 2021 6:51 pm, edited 3 times in total.

User avatar
Kommander Ken
an avid fan of large round cannons
an avid fan of large round cannons
Posts: 2111
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:25 am
Location: Getting Brootalized

Re: Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by Kommander Ken » Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:05 am

I think I was laughing during this entire battle. Thanks for hosting, Colette. :lol:

User avatar
Duerer
Forum Champion 2016-2017
Forum Champion 2016-2017
Posts: 2883
Joined: Sat May 03, 2014 11:22 am

Re: [RK17] Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by Duerer » Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:16 am

Fun: 15/20
Violence: 7/10
Photography: 8/10
Writing: 8/10
Story: 7/10
Winning Contest Entries
Show
ImageImageImageImageImageImage
Battles and Stories and Stuff

User avatar
motorhead fan
I want to climb on to thevengefulone, stick my tongue into his ear and ride him all the way to satan.
Posts: 1696
Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2013 9:17 am
Location: Rolled up in a ball in a corner, quietly vomiting.

Re: [RK17] Battle in the Chat: Murders & Acquisitions

Post by motorhead fan » Wed Feb 15, 2017 12:06 pm

Fun:19/20 (I was also laughing throughout.)
Violence:9/10 (Lots of blood and burning and crushing and stuff and it was good)
Photography: 8/10
Writing: 8/10
Story: 7/10

Post Reply