Charles kidnaps a woman and is then attacked for it. the end

[motorhead fan]

MORE BUTT STUFF IS REQUIRED!
MORE BUTT STUFF IS REQUIRED!
MORE BUTT STUFF IS REQUIRED!
MORE BUTT STUFF IS REQUIRED!

Elsewhere, during the Stratosphere…


BRIKONNEEEEEEKT!

One of the greatest pirates in all of space and time, Charles, used his immense powers to trap some local thot in a weird but effective cage-type contraption.


Word of her capture spread quickly, causing the local Alpha minifigs to gather all manner of incels, betas, volcels, omegas and cucks to assist them in their quest to gain this thot in need without worrying about any of them stealing her from them.



Charles has 2 pistol pirates, a Biznessman with a pistol and 3 swordpirates.
He has the ability to scream really loud into his microphone, causing explosions

Sir Patriachus has brought a knight and 4 swordsmen with him.
He is the guy on the horse with a small hammer


Sir Cacktus only brought 3 guys with him, so he is stronger to make up for it.
He is the guy on the horse


Sir Willy I am brought a knight, 3 spearmen and a swordsman.
He Is the guy on the horse without massive bright green armour on.


A fly has spread some diseases into a local village and brought some skeletons with him.
He can fly and hit people.


There is also a cannon and a mobile staircase.

To win, the 4 attackers must get the thot and escort her to one of the far ends of the green baseplates and fight each other.
Or just kill everyone else.

Charles: Bragallot
Patriarchus: Ninja bait
Cacktus: Falk
Willyam: Kommander Ken
A fly: Texhnophile

If enough people sign up, you may take secret factions, if not, they will be able for use by players who lose all their people but want to keep playing as a sort of 2nd wave of attackers.

Secret Faction 1:
Secret Faction 2:
Secret Faction 3:

[Texhnophille]

Buzz buzz do me a fly buzz buzz

[Bragallot]

I'll be Charles. He seems like my kind of person.

[Kommander Ken]

Sir Willy and his weenies please!

[motorhead fan]

Excellent, you are all in!

we just need 2 more people.

[Falk]

Cocktus please

[motorhead fan]

Of course!

one last player is needed!

[ninja_bait]

What's left? That's me.

[motorhead fan]

Sir Patriarchus is left, and he's you.

Is everyone sitting comfortably? Good, then send your orders and we can begin.

[motorhead fan]

To be honest, it's my first Brikwar in ages and ages and I can hardly remember how to play but... who cares, right?

This is an extremely brutal first turn, be warned!


Sir Patriarchus and his people prepare a response action.


The Fly flies to cover so he doesn't get shot down.


The skeletons surge forth, most of them were just out of range but one horse managed to smack someone to death with his face.


Sir Willyam uses a feat to launch himself into Sir Cacktus and his men.


Crushing an axeman and entering combat with Cacktus.


The knight also kills a swordsman.


Sir Cacktus fails and just knocks his lance off of his saddle.


The last axeman is eager for blood...


And easily outdoes his master.


WHAM!!!


All 3 spearmen are dead but the swordman is only disrupted.


Hey Hey HEY! Charles misses.


Green bullets also bounce off the floor neer the staircase, but it seems that few people actually care about laying siege to the castle.


This guy goes up a ladder.


And this guy reinforces the front door.


At this point I remember about the guys waiting in response charge.


Sir Patriarchus Whaps that axeguy in the back of the head with his small hammer but he survives, albeit with a headache.


This guy misses by a long way.


Turn-end overview

Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe and send your orders as fast as humanly possible.

[motorhead fan]

We just need orders from Kommander Ken.

[motorhead fan]

Turn 2
As usual, the order that everything happens is by random number generator.


Cacktus attacks Willyam but misses


He attempts and also fails to make caktusses grow under everyone elses horse.


Thus impaling his own horse on a large caktus.


The horse dies of caktus impalement but he is ok


The last axe guy also misses.


The fly gets to the cage and manages to dismantle half of the roof.
"Lemme smash"


His undead men move closer, the skeletons just out of range still but the horses begin to push the ladder.


This guy, not dead, gets up.


Willyam takes a swing at the axeman but misses.


He then whips out his magnum dong in an attempt to make everyone feel awkward about attacking him.


Or not.


Secondary objective activated! Get Willyam!


Everyone apart from Charles gets off from the wall. and shoot at the fly.


Only just killing him.


WASAWASAWASA WASSUP? BRIKONNEEEEKT!
This time he is on target but just doesn't manage to destroy it by 1 point.


He then whips out a picture of is mum, saying that this is the Thot and she ain't that hot.
It works, everyone attacking him or his guys will get a -1 skill roll as they no longer care that much.


Patriarchus' men attack the skeletons in an effort to get to the ladder, to skeletons die again but the horse is too strong.


Patriarchus knocks down the door hitting the guy behind it square in the face, murdering him.

I hope you enjoyed this turn, please get your orders in quickly!

[Kommander Ken]

Well that kinda worked.

[Falk]

Can you post an overview of the battlefield?

[motorhead fan]

Well that kinda worked.

Yeah sure, if by "kinda" you mean didn't at all.

anyway, here is the overview