Attack on Banshee Mansion (Completed)

[sahasrahla]

In the cold and forbidding land of Batsylvania....



Heavy Metal Scout: Commander Alice! We've located the enemy base.
Alice: Finally, the time for vengeance has come.

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Alice: You will pay for Hetta's death, Bubblegum Banshees...!

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Bubblegum Banshee Sorceress: Whoa, intruders approaching!

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Banshee sorceress: Hey ladies, get ready for a tussel!
Banshee knight: um, rude??? not done with my makeup for my latest tiktok vid yet!

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Banshee sorceress: Hey, Queenie! Knock Knock! A bunch of whiney douche-canoes are here to fuck up our shit!
Banshee Queen Maeve: It is as I foresaw... The Day of Destiny has come at last...

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Banshee sorceress: Oh for the love of bubblegum.... Look, there's a lot of them out there so whenever you're done digging in pig entrails or whatever we could use a hand.

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Meanwhile, in the swampy caverns beneath the Banshee Mansion...

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bloop

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bloop

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Swamp thing: Coast is clear boyz! C'mon up!

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Swamp Boyz: YEEEAAAAHHHHRRRRBLUBLUBLUB

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Swamp Daddy Bubba: Well damn howdy if this ain't the stinkiest, slimiest, most doggone beautiful place I done seen in ages!

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Swamp Daddy Bubba: Plant the flag Cletus, this is Swamp Boyz territory now!

Welcome to ATTACK ON BANSHEE MANSION! This is a sequel to my last forum battle, The Krumbly Kastle. Alice, the last survivor of the Heavy Metal Harriers, has taken command of the mercenary group and leads an attack on the home base of their arch-rival, the Bubblegum Banshees! Meanwhile some swamp boyz emerge from subterranean depths to cause mischief of their own.

OVERWATCH SHOTS:

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Mansion interior:

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This is a cramped and chaotic build which of course makes photography difficult... so hopefully that gives an idea of what we're working with.

There are five factions available:

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The Heavy Metal Harriers. Four knights, two Heavy Gold Lions, three Harrier Scouts, three Heavy Metal Magicians, and hero Alice with the fiery fantasy babe cliche. Objective: Eliminate the Banshee Queen! -Admiral Poshlily

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The Bubblegum Banshees. Five bubblegum knights, four bubblegum sorceresses, two elite Banshee Blade Babes, one Banshee Berserker, and hero Queen Maeve (not pictured), with the mystical seer cliche. Objective: fight off the Harrier assault! Special rule: Queen Maeve is currently locked away in her seeing tower, reading the future. The player controlling her can elect to continue her vision for as many turns as desired, and at the end of each turn she will gain a buff or bonus for herself or her team. The longer she searches the future, the stronger she'll be, but the rest of the Banshees will be fighting without their hero! -Zupponn

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The Swamp Boyz. Six swamp bros and hero Swamp Daddy Bubba, with the redneck fishman cliche (whatever that means). Objective: make a big ruckus! -Ninja_Bait

Secret Faction 1. Arrives on turn 3. -BoultonPaulDefiant

Secret Faction 2. Arrives on turn 4. -RedRover

Claim your spot in this epic battle!!!

[ninja_bait]

swamp bois
leggo

[BoltonPaulDefiant]

could I get secret faction 3?

[Zupponn]

Gimme those Bubblegum Bitches again. I can totally fuck this battle up.

[Kommander Ken]

Really digging this series of battles, looking forward to seeing how this one plays out!

[sahasrahla]

all slots claimed, send in orders for turn 1! Turn order is decided by who sends their orders in first. show me your stuff!

[ninja_bait]

Swamp daddy bubba orders his boyz to start bringing the house down, literally! attack floorboards and load-bearing columns! Preferably ones under other people's feet! Bubba uses his heroic feat to start filling the basement with noxious (to drylanders) swamp gas

[BoltonPaulDefiant]

my hero say to my army: Prepare for battle! (and other motivation stuff)

[sahasrahla]

TURN ONE

SWAMP BOYZ (Ninja_bait)

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Swamp Daddy Bubba: Let's bring the house down boyz! Get to werk on that ceiling!
Swamp boyz: YAAAA
The swamp boyz start going ham on the cave walls!

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Swamp boy: hey boss, it's not givin' an inch! But we might be able to tunnel up over there in front of the house!
It turns out that the Banshees wisely invested in top-grade materials and the entire floor of the mansion is built from a single 32x16 brick. Certainly nothing to do with me not wanting to bother to take apart and restructure the entire section to make it collapsable, no sir.

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Swamp Daddy: Ooh, get ready boyz, I can feel a biggun comin on...

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Swamp Daddy: PBBPHBPBHPHBT
Bubba lets rip the biggest, nastiest fart ever to be released within a hundred square miles (at 102 miles his record would be smashed by the late Farmer Hubbard's old donkey, whose BM obliterated Hubbar'd house, his wife and children, and himself, and earned the donkey the official title of The Ass, on account of its terrifying butt power). [Feat Successful!]

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Bubblegum Knight: Um, what the flower is that smell?
Bubblegum Blade Babe: I don't know, but it's awful!
The noxious fumes waft through the floorboards. Girls don't fart, obviously, so the olfactory experience is wholly novel to them.

BUBBLEGUM BANSHEES (Zupponn)

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Bubblegum Sorceress: I think that's my ex coming out of our beautiful swamp! Girls, activate the flower defense!

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The Bubblegum witches gather together to join their sparkly magical power.

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Below, the skull flowers come to life and attack! (ignore the knocked over swamp boi back there, my fat fingers kept causing trouble posing this shot)

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Bubblegum Knights rush to defend the front entrance.

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Blade Babe 1: Girl your hair is fire today!
Blade Babe 2: Thanks babe! Your gold chain bikini armor is so exploitative and nonfunctional, I'm super jealous!

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Banshee Berserker: Stinky intruders... I just want...

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Banshee Berserker: TO FINISH MY FLOWER PRINTS!!!! RRRRAAAAAAGEEEEEEE!!!!!

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Banshee Queen Maeve: Yes... I see.... colors! Beautiful colors! How incredible!
Queen Maeve searches the future and sees... well, something, anyway. She gains one automatic success on a future heroic feat, which Zupponn can declare on any turn when he sends in orders. Pick a good one dude

HEAVY METAL HARRIERS (Admiral Poshlily)

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The entire force rushes the front door.

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The scouts get there first. They attack the door but crossbows don't do much to break it down.

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The heavier troops lumber along behind. They'll get there... eventually.

A bloodless turn one, but full of excellent orders! Excited for turn two!! Send in orders!!!

[ninja_bait]

Big Bubba says, "lemme show you how's it's done, boyz," and with an "OH YEAH," kool-aid mans his way through a wall. The boyz follow towards the main melee, killing skull flowers if they need to but hopefully the swamp gas gets them.

[Mr. President]

I love how these factions have so many unique characters, with stuff that ties them together. I need to do that more with my factions.

[BoltonPaulDefiant]

my hero say: not now, be ready... in a moment...

[sahasrahla]

TURN 2

SWAMP BOYZ (Ninja_bait)

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Swamp Daddy: Lemme show you how it's done, boyz!

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Swamp Daddy: OOHHH YEAAAHHHHH

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Bubba bursts out into the open, and finds himself face-to-face with a heavily-armored warband! Fearless, he skewers a Heavy Metal Magician on his trident. Others in the vicinity reel back, horrified by the stench wafting from him.

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The swamp boyz rush out behind him, ignoring the haunted flowers completely. Some start scaling the cliffside.

BUBBLEGUM BANSHEES (Zupponn)

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The haunted plants shamble out after the swamp boyz.

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They manage to grab one. His muffled screams fill the air for only a moment before they devour him.

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One of the haunted plants withers and curls into itself, poisoned by swamp daddy's noxious farts.

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The banshee berserker, now lathered into a nice rage, charges the front doors.
Banshee knights: Wait, wtf you doing Betty?

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Banshee berserker: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND NICE FLOWERS IN THIS DAMN SWAMP???
The front door shatters beneath her mace, crushing one Harrier Scout and disrupting another.

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Banshee knights: ok fuck it, banzai time.

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Screaming their patented war cry, "Fuck you, basic bitches!" they charge into battle. They slay two more Harrier Scouts. Attacks against Alice and one of the knights fall short of killing, though.

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The banshee sorceresses gather their power once more for a second spell. "Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble...!"

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Bubblegum rains over the battlefield, slowing everyone who walks in it to half speed.

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Meanwhile upstairs, the elite Blade Babes start to get catty.
Blade Babe 1: ummm scuse me??? Exploitative and nonfunctional? I'll have you know my boyfriend made this armor special for me.
Blade babe 2: Right, the boyfriend who left your sorry ass for Betty the Berserker down there. His taste remains questionable.

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Banshee Queen Maeve: *snort* Ooooohhh! I can taste the color of sound! All of reality lies naked before me! Who knew the cosmos had such funky-looking nipples...
Queen Maeve continues gazing into the future and gains FORESIGHT PROTECTION! Zupponn, when you next send in orders indicate one unit (it can be Maeve if you want) to receive the protection of the Banshee Queen's foresight. That minifig will automatically survive the next attack that would otherwise kill her.

HEAVY METAL HARRIERS (NPC'd)

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Bubblegum knight: like omg, those sorceresses are such bitches. I'll never get this stuff out of my hair!!

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Alice: I think I've got just the tool for you.
Alice decapitates the knight.

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Two Harrier Knights gang up on the bubblegum knight and slay her. Other knights advance but are slowed by the bubblegumsplosion, preventing them from engaging.

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The Heavy Lion Knights move up and attack Swamp Daddy. He double-critfails his armor roll but a redshirt saves him.

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A commotion arises from the south. A new army has arrived, led by none other than...!

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Hot Knight: Yes, hahaha! 'Tis I, Geoffrey the Hot Knight! I cometh in this time of dire need to defend the noble lady Alice of the Red Hair and the Mighty Axe, for on mine honor I do owe her my life, on account of her timely intervention during a period of the greatest distress and abuse which was inflicted upon my virile person by a beast most hideous.

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Hot knight: Fear not, fair damsels! We shall ensure that no harm falls upon you! Forward, my White Knights!

BoultonPaulDefiant's secret faction has arrived! After escaping the Krubly Kastle, Hot Knight has been promoted to Hot Hero, and now leads a squad of White Knights in defense of his fair maiden! He commands three spearmen, two archers, and three elite Damsel Defenders. Objective: Keep Commander Alice safe at all costs!

OVERWATCH

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Send in orders for turn 3!!!

[ninja_bait]

Swamp boyz rush out and start a melee with as many factions as they can

Big Bubba (feat) appears in the witches' circle. "Bubba, bubba, toil and trubba is right, bwitches!" He murders all of them.

[BoltonPaulDefiant]

my warriors charge at swap boiz and archers shoot at bublegum knights
btw what is my hero's cliche?