The Color of Money

[Food_Truk]

INTRODUCTION

[LOCATION: The snowy planet of Tré-Marq]



Two enemy factions have stumbled upon the same source of PuT, and so a conflict heats up the otherwise chillingly silent atmosphere...



Lady Sluban laughs as she waves her fan, the scent of cheap offbrand coffee and stale baked goods hanging over the surroundings. "How unfortunate that you and your corporate shills have followed us here to this treasure, rat! But it doesn't matter, none of you will leave this place alive! OHOHOHOHO!~"



The neatly dressed rodent grasps his hammer, a twisted mix of a smile and a snarl on his face. "Everything on this planet belongs to the Licensium Republic, you cheap filth! Ho Ho! My soldiers will gladly sacrifice themselves to protect my interests!" Some of the soldiers in front of him are clearly showing concern after hearing this 'motivational' speech.



In the distance a Rules Lawyer is overseeing the carnage that is about to erupt with great interest, eldritch human tools along his side...

[Food_Truk]

TURN 1



As the Licensian soldiers rush into battle, the Troll Mage chants in an ancient tongue...
"LOLOLOLOL I TROLL U NAO!"





A 6creant answers her call and eagerly joins the impending slaughter!



Michael Mascot looks at the trees and thinks of a brilliant plan to slow down Lady Sluban's forces! He's going to SET THE TREES ON FIRE with the power of I M A G I N A T I O N!


[HEROIC FEAT: FAILED]

Imagination sure smells like burning rat hair.



Lady Sluban's forces slowly march forward, encumbered by their heavy offbrand armor as the spellcasters weave spells of fire to aid the artillery in bringing hot, flaming death upon their foes.



"I don't feel like walking, you there! Carry me to the PuT!"



Her shrill laughter echoes through the frozen wastelands as the Bigfig carries Sluban along the snipers (who might as well be wearing red at this point).

"OHOHOHOHO!~"



She waves her fan, invoking the vile CLOan spirits of the Nega-BlokTrix' Court...


[HEROIC FEAT: SUCCESS!]

And they reply by dropping an offbrand sink on top of the enemy infantry, instantly killing one and disrupting another!



[And don't forget to check the Specialist section on snipers. There's also the Burning effect to keep in mind, and-]
"Give me a break..."
[Do you wish to acquire the aid of Justice's troops or not?]
"Wait, weren't you guys Order?"
[Just follow the rulebook.]
"Fiiiiiiiine."

[Food_Truk]

TURN 2



[Query: Why are you not reading the rulebook?]
"Ah, just in time. Pass me that print tile will you?"



[Query two: What exactly ARE you doing?]
"Just working on a prototype Artifakt measuring tool, I call it the 'Ten Ossum Inches'."



[Ten Ossum Inches? That sounds dumb.]
"Yeah well, I got the idea from your mom, she kept calling my package the same last night."
[HEY!]



Meanwhile, Michael Mascot is desperately trying to fight the fire. "STOP, DROP AND ROLL, HO-OHSWEETRNGESUSHOOHHOHO!"


[HEROIC FEAT: SUCCESS...?]

After spending his entire turn putting out the fire, he decides to do things differently. "I'm rich, damn it! I don't have to put up with this crap! Ho ho!" He activates something...

Spoiler

Show

The Licensium soldiers start charging into battle, and one activates the Ten Ossum Inches!



The Random Rain print is activated, launching an Unexpected Twist at the enemy!



A venomous spider web ensnares two enemy infantry, killing them instantly.



Inspired by their fellow soldier's luck, the rest attempts charging as well but barely reach extra ground, and one of them has caught the attention of a rather ornery and agitated owl...



The foul fowl furiously fights the unfortunate fighter!



Fate favors the infantry, who fanatically fells his feathered foe!
"DIE, YOU CORPSE-REGURGITATING FREAK!"



The Bigfig manages to charge through the forestry, once again triggering the Ten Ossum Inches and causing an Unexpected Twist!



A giant bike with sidecar is summoned, and the Pyromaniac joins the Bigfig!
"TIME TO LIGHT THE FIRE!"



The Pyromaniac launches a 10amyte...



"Oh fu-"



The explosion wipes out the snipers and the Bigfig, Lady Sluban heroically leaping away!
"MY TOYS! YOU'VE BROKEN THEM!"



Her soldiers march in on the enemy infantry, one of the enemies masterfully dodging three weapons in a row. The target in the back isn't as lucky and gets disarmed by a single soldier.



Unable to reach the enemy, one of the soldiers decides now's a great time for a fudge brownie. And he's right. It is a delicious brownie.



Envious of the Bigfig's sweet new ride and maybe a little bit worried because of the Pyromaniac's fondness of explosions, the leftover artillery starts assaulting the bike!



PTANG! CRACK! Pieces of the bike are blown off!
"HEY! QUIT THAT!"
"GO SHOOT AT SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!"



"Here's my chance! I CALL UPON THE EVERDREAMING!~"


[HEROIC FEAT: SUCCESS!]

The bike is pelted by various objects, and a dark but sweet atmosphere fills the battlefield as a feline vermin eats the Pyromaniac's remains...



[TURN 2 OVERVIEW]



[Minifigs evolved from wooden ducks?]
"Yeah, and get this: Poop is actually an inherent part of the Brikverse! The real danger is to the Brikverse is Apathy."
[An odd theory, elaborate.]
"Alcohol is a vital building block of the Brikverse. When one drinks a lot of alcohol, they become shitfaced. And CLOans can fight wars too, don't they? They like to stir up shit. Poop invokes feelings of aggression and a desire to purge it in a violent and explosive manner after all."
[Please don't ever put the words 'poop' and 'explosive' in the same sentence again.]
"But you're following me so far, right?"
[Unfortunately, yes.]
"Right, so what does stop a BrikWarrior from waging war?"
[...Apathy?]
"Exactly. Not giving a shit, like what the Whateverists are doing all the time."
[This is...A lot to take in.]
"That's the herb talking. You should see my notes on RNG."

[Screech]

i laughed for a full minute when I saw the squid game minifig
are there any (non-obscure) IPs that aren't represented officially or via bootlegs within your brik collections

[Food_Truk]

i laughed for a full minute when I saw the squid game minifig
are there any (non-obscure) IPs that aren't represented officially or via bootlegs within your brik collections

I actually don't have that many IPs' worth of minifigures, just a bunch of cheap ones I found at a local comic book store. A lot of DBZ, what appears to be Gordon Freeman and Baraka from Mortal Kombat and everything else you've seen on the table. Official LEGO IPs are a whole different story, mostly the typical ones. The great part about CLOans is how expendable they are.

[Mr. President]

I'm fascinated by that bigfig who summoned the motorcycle and Pyromaniac! He looks like a cross between Bane and Lobo and a Warhammer Fantasy ogre.

[Food_Truk]

I'm fascinated by that bigfig who summoned the motorcycle and Pyromaniac! He looks like a cross between Bane and Lobo and a Warhammer Fantasy ogre.

Those are Roadhog and Junkrat, potentially the best characters from Overwatch. Their set is pretty great too, from the bigfig-sized bike to Roadhog's giant hook.

[Mr. President]

I'm fascinated by that bigfig who summoned the motorcycle and Pyromaniac! He looks like a cross between Bane and Lobo and a Warhammer Fantasy ogre.

Those are Roadhog and Junkrat, potentially the best characters from Overwatch. Their set is pretty great too, from the bigfig-sized bike to Roadhog's giant hook.

Oh, that's really cool! I knew literally nothing about Overwatch before now, but it might be worth checking that set out.

[Food_Truk]

TuRn 3



"..."
[...]



"There you are, sweetie!"
"Oh hello, dear. Going already?"
[...???]



"I need to pick up Pacifass from his yoga class, he gets ornery if he's not back home in time for his cartoons. Last night was great, by the way. Same time next week?"
"It's a date."
Giggling, smooching and other public displays of affection play out right in front of the poor Rules Lawyer's visual detectors.



[...]
"Oh, you saw that huh?"

Meanwhile on the battlefield...



"ALRIGHT EVERYONE, LISTEN UP! I want you to go out there and get rid of these CLOan pests right NOW!"
The guy with the burning head raises his hand. "Sir, I don't mean to criticize you but isn't this against the rules?"



"SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE MONEY! NOW GET IN YOUR CAR AND WRECK THINGS OR I'LL CAST NICHOLAS CAGE AS YOU IN THE NEXT SUPERHERO MOVIE!"


[HEROIC(?) FEAT: SUCCESS]

Everyone quickly steps into their vehicles. After all, no one wants to have Nicholas Cage represent them in a movie.



The PuT glows softly for a second, and a minifig's worst nightmare arrives in the form of Mediks!







They quickly collect the Pyromaniac and bigfig's remains, taking them away for a 'medikal leave'.



The kitty. He monch butt.



"Maybe if I start paying these buttheads more, they might actua-"
Lady Sluban's heroic feat takes effect, and an annoying laughter fills the air...



"HELLO, GOOD SIR!"
"$#%+!!"
"I am your new HEAD CHEF! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Oh, this day can't get any worse..."



The mere presence of the spongey fry cook seems to suck up the luck from the Mascot's army. The infantry tries to disengage, but the CLOan soldiers see their chance to slice and skewer them into potential resources for the Head Chef.

One of them groans. "Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good..."



"PETER, NOOOOO!"



The 6creant hops up to the picnic table, helping himself to a fudge brownie since he already spent his single action on moving. The CLOan samurai nods. "They truly are delightful, my diemonik friend."



"WTF R U DOING U DUMB 6CRENT!!1" the Troll Mage screeches in frustration. "NVM U NERD I CAST FIREBALLZ LOL!"





The fiery projectile misses, and the samurai's tasty treat is torched instead. "MY FUDGE BROWNIE! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, WITCH!"



The artillery attempts to strike down the samurai while he's distracted, but one accidentally and literally 'disarms' himself as the other one's shot bounces off of the samurai's armor.



"You and I are enemies now."



A leftover infantry sees their chance to take down this stubborn foe once and for all!



...But the samurai swiftly counters their sneaky assailant, unleashing his hangry hatred!





The rest of the infantry tries, but can't properly hit their foes through the trees. One even manages to blow his own head off in an act of stupidity.





The enemy artillery targets the running infantry and triggers Ten Ossum Inches' Crab Attack print, summoning a Vermin Swarm!



Owls appear, sending the infantry in a state of panic!



"NO! GET OFF! HELP! AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"



...



Lady Sluban sees no reason to tire herself out when victory practically tosses itself at her like it wants a lap pillow. "Y'know, I could use some more friends..."


[HEROIC(???) FEAT: SUCCESS]

The two leftover infantry scream in agony, scaring away the vermin as their bodies seem to melt and twist...



Their former identies erased, now they continue their lives as two CLOan Supernaturals ready for a night on the town!


TURN 3 OVERVIEW


Meanwhile...





[We've seen enough for now. You will receive an email of our cooperation contract soon.]
"So you guys will help?"
[We have found your contribution to Ruin sufficient, and merely wished to have a visual record on how you would fare in a battle.]
"And?"
[We will require various mental wellness programs to emotionally process what we've just witnessed.]

[Screech]

this battle has had more lore than some movie series so far

[Food_Truk]

THE FOURTH TURN



A big razzgrizzly approaches, clutching a note. "M-Mister Valdr? The spies have requested your attention..."
"Can it wait? I was just getting to the good part of this massacre."



"T-They said it was u-u-urgent."
"Very well, but I'm taking the couch with me."
"O-Ofcourse Mister Valdr."



"Oh, right. Almost forgot to send in the domesticated 10amytes."
"Dome-mestic-ca-cated what??"





With the Znap of a finger an eerie contraption forms on the field, and small diemonik monsters begin popping out of it one by one...



Back at the Licensium base...
"Do you want to know how you can REALLY help me out?"
"Say the word, cap'n! Ahahahahahahahahaha!"



"Well, you can start by STANDING STILL!"
"YIKES!"



"GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE FREAK!"


[HEROIC FEAT: FAILED]

Instead of getting rid of one pest, more appear!
"I should've stayed in bed today."



"GET HIM, GANG! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The others fail to land even the slightest blow on Michael Mascot, but the fry chef manages to disarm him with the power of KA-RA-TAY!



"Not so fast, buddy!"
One of the mech pilots decides to earn his paycheck and grabs an assailant...



Y E E T ! ! !





The razzgrizzly crashes into the enemy artillery, obliterating all five with the impact!



"Let's do this."



DOUBLE KILL!! +69 POINTS!
"Nice."



STUNT INCHES INITIATED



HERO ROADKILL!!! +420 POINTS!



"EAT HELLFIRE, KNOCKOFF SCUM!"



DOUBLE KILL FINISHER!! +1337 POINTS!


SEARCHING FOR NEW FACTION HERO...



"This is it. All my hard work and training have finally paid off."



"No longer shall I be a mere pawn in these fights! No more shall I follow the commands of others!"



"THE WORLD SHALL KNOW THE MIGHT OF-"

FACTION HERO FOUND.



FACTION HERO: KITTY
ACTION-HERO CLICHÉ: KITTY



"&@*%!"



"ARE YOU SERIOUS?! A &@*%ING VERMIN?! THIS IS BULL$#)^!"



"&@*% THIS! I'M DONE!"



"..."
"Ignor teh sore loser lolol go fite taht other nerd."



The 6creant walks to the other warrior, who fails to hit it with a counter-attack and things get awkward.
"Why is it just...staring at me?"



"Cuz ur hawt, lawl!"



To add injury to insult, the Troll Mage's shitty pun is followed by a disarming shot from her staff!



The infantry smiles as he picks up the gun from his dead comrade. He has two guns now.



Two guns means twice the amount of shooting at enemies!



It also means twice the chance of blowing your own hand off.



One of the mechs charges forward, hitting the Random Rain print of Ten Ossum Inches!



Bricks fall and deaths occur.
"wtf"



The disgruntled samurai walks up to the carnage...
"Forgot my spear."



Another mech rushes in!
"U moron havne't u seen wut happens wen u do da-"



Ten Ossum Inches' Random Rain coughs up a swarm of domesticated 10amytes!
"...Fug."



The other mech reaches the PuT source!





The battle suit's operator takes aim at the surviving enemy infantry...



BLAM! The battle suit's hand explodes! Michael Mascot's arms supplier has a lot of explaining to do.



The infantry tries to attack the car, doing nothing but scratching the paint.
"HEY, BUTTHEAD! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAINT REPAIRS COST?!"



The kitty runs up and leers at the mech near the PuT source...



*ANGRY HISSING SOUNDS*


[HEROIC FEAT: FAILED]

Instead of being destroyed, the enemy mech now has upgraded weapons!
"Uhhh...Thanks?..."



"LeT's MaKe A sTrAy MuTt ThE hErO, fOr ThE iRonY! Serves you idiots right."



The diemons' turn starts, and the 10amytes rush onto the battlefield!



One hits Ten Ossum Inches' Crab Attack, summoning...



MORE 10AMYTES!



The ones sitting on the Licensium soldiers start to shake violently...
"O no o fug no plz do-"



KABLAMMO! An explosion of pink glitter fells the victims, and throws the battle suit off its balance!

TURN 4 OVERWATCH


Wait, aren't we forgetting someone?



"Can you believe this guy? He can't even keep count of his units' actions!"
"Y'know, that makes me angry! And when I'm angry, I want to shoot someone!"



"I say we relieve the stress caused by our neglect through good ol' fashioned violence against razzgrizzlies!"
"Hear, hear!"



One shot barely grazes the bird, while the other just completely misses.
"I tawt I taw a thitty thot!"
The artillery weeps in frustration.

[Food_Truk]

TURN V



The mech seems good enough at throwing, let's see if the legs work!



T-T-THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!



Their corpses crash into the PuT source, covering them in chunks of the stuff.



"At least SOMETHING is going right now! Ho ho!" Michael picks up his trusty Hammer of Cease & Desist as an annoying tune starts playing in the background...



"Ho ho! I learned this trick from my days as a sorcerer's apprentice! I hope you enjoy getting smoked by trees!"


[HEROIC FEAT: SUCCESS]

The trees pop their roots out of the ground and start shambling towards their feline target in a choreographed manner...



The kitty manages to fell one of the trees, but alas!



Another tree falls on top of the feline fellow, felling it! TIMBER!



The upgraded mech's driver decides to test out the new weapons...





While the bolt hits its target (and a tree), the cannon balls all miss their targets! (One of them is still somewhere in the room and shall now be known as the Lost Orb of Zamor.)

The frustrated samurai turns around after the cowardly attempt on his life. "YOU THERE, WHAT IS YOUR NAME?"
The mech's owner replies in a confused manner. "Ummm...Tony?"
"&^@% YOU, TONY!"
"HEY! &^@% YOU!"
"&^@% YOU!"
"&^@% YOU! WHAT'S YOUR NAME THEN?!"
"I AM SEMBOMOTO, OF THE CLA-"



"&^@% YOU, SEMBOMOTO!"
"&^@% YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID WITH YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT?"
"DON'T YOU BRING HER INTO THIS!"
"SEE THAT PICNIC TABLE OVER THERE?"
"...YEAH?"
"I MADE HER A NICE DINNER!"
"...OH."
"AND THEN I &^@%ED HER RIGHT ON TOP OF THE DESSERT!"
"&^@% YOU!"
"&^@% YOU! &^@%YOU&^@%YOU&^@%YOUUUUU!"



"&^@%. YOU!!!"
clickclickclickclick



Four OT bolts dart through the air, one hitting Sembomoto head on and murdering him instantly. At least he died in a honorable way, swearing and making jokes about someone else's mother.



The driver pops out of his car. "THANKS FOR STEALING MY KILL, @$$#*%#!"
"&^@% YOU!"



More domesticated 10amytes pop out of the contraption!



The ones within range start to close in on the driver...
"Don't touch my car you little shits!"



He backs up but one of them is fast enough to jump onto his hood!
"NonoNONONONOOO-"



Ten Ossum Inches has trouble deciding which is funnier, making it rain garbage or summoning something violent and with low intellect?



Both? Both. The domesticated 10amyte explodes, blasting the guns off of the car's hood as it starts raining S.W.A.T. officers!



The car's hood starts burning as the S.W.A.T. officers recover from their fall.
"Did someone get the number of that truck?"
"153-K-41."
"Really showboating that photographic memory, huh?"

TURN 5 OVERLOOK

[Bookwyrm]

"HELLO, GOOD SIR!"
"$#%+!!"
"I am your new HEAD CHEF! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Oh, this day can't get any worse..."

I think the real evil of Spongerobert here is his loud af yellow dialogue text

[Food_Truk]

TURN (̴̻̻͋̽͜͠A̸̦͉̔̀̔W̸͖͇̓͑̐A̵͚͎̕̚͝Y̵͕̼̘̾͐̈́)̸͔͕͇̈́͑͘ 6



"With those CLOans out of the way, it's time to redeem my well-earned prize! HO HO!"



"Now let's see here, what to do with these ugly corpses..."



"Out of the way, spongecorpse deadpants."
The ground starts to tremble...



"What the-"
"B-B-Boss??"



"HO HO HOLY-"



"HELP ME, YOU WORTHLESS RUNTS!!"
They try, but the only thing getting hurt are the monster's feelings.



"No, please no no no no no-"





"G-aa...ck..."



There is little time to mourn the loss of their leader as the corpses near the PuT start to crawl and melt together...



3̴͖͔͔̀͘͘A̵̘͙͙͊͛́R̴͙͕͉̾͛̔L̸̞̪̦̔̚͠A̵̡̪̟̽́̾T̵̙͕͕̀͆̔H̸̡̦͓́̒͠O̴̢̘̫͌͋͝T̵̡͇̈́͘͜E̵̙̼͓̾͊͆P̸̦̼͎͊̒͝ W̸̘̝̽͆̽͜A̸͕͍̙͆̒̿T̴̢̼͔̾͐Ć̴̪͔̽͝H̵̡͇͎́͐Ë̵͔͖͓́̽͝Ś̵͓͕̙̽͝ Y̴̡̪̻̓͌͆O̵͖̝͕͑̔̽U̵͚̼̝͑͊͝ P̴͎̟͖͊̚E̴̝͚͍͒͋̐E̸̡̻̻̓͑̀ A̵͓͚͓͋̚͝T̸̡̟̺͆͐͝ N̸͎͍͕̾͒͠I̸̫͇͑͌͌͜G̵̺̺͎̈́͋͝H̵͖̘̓̐͛͜T̸̡͕̫̿͋̓!̸͍̻̻̔̚̕ A̸͎͉͇̐̈́̈́H̵̝̘͉̀̒͝A̸͍̫̞͋̚̚H̸̦̼̦͐̓̈́A̴͍̫̦͑̽H̵̪͙̐̐̽͜A̵̼͉͒͘͜H̴͙̫̟́̕͝A̸̢͓̺̔́̕H̵̞͎̞̔̿̾A̸͖̼͐̾͋H̴̠̼͙̾̐͠A̴͔̘͇̓͑̚H̸͖̝̫͒͛͝A̸̙̦̙͛͒͑H̴͉̼̐͋A̴͓̻͚̽̒̐!̸̻̦͓̾́͐



As the fire spreads over the car hood, the SWAT officers discuss the best ways to extinguish a fire. Pummeling and tear gas grenades are the only suggested ideas.



"&^@%!"



Realizing his car has become a ticking time bomb, the driver gets out and runs for it!



"A̸̢͔̼̾͆L̸̞͍̞̽͝͠L̸̺͓̪̐̈́͝ S̵̝͍̟͐̚͝Ḧ̴̡̢͕́́͒A̵̺͇̒̽͌͜L̸̡̫̺̾̓̓L̸͕̠͑́͒ F̸̟̘̞̾͛̚A̸̠͎̞̓́͋L̸̝͍͛́̓͜L̵͕͉̝̓͝ T̵͓͓̻̿̒O̴͕̪̙̔͐-̵̼̼̠͌͊̀"
"No."
The monster screeches in pain as it's set aflame!





"Got my hand back."



The 10amyte generator starts to go berserk as it spits out all its remaining 10amytes and begins generating new ones, purple-colored with some showing advanced mutations.



"...Oh fudge-"



The 10amyte nearby the SWAT team explodes, taking down three officers and fueling the flames on the car!





The vehicle explodes, leaving behind a swath of flames and destruction.



More 10amytes rush towards their targets, proving their compatibility with Ten Ossum Inches!



Random Rain drops katanas on several Licensium units, even managing to destroy the mech and break its flamethrower.



This 10amyte may not reach its intended target...



But the limousine that rains down does the job just fine.



At this point I was running out of ideas for things to rain down...



So a bunch of 6creants get to join in.



This one manages to trigger the Tomatoes print for a change of pace!



An apple is thrown out of nowhere, hitting Michael's former girlfriend in the face.
"ACK-!"



As another 10amyte reaches the 10th inch...



A flock of 8vians rains down upon the mech!


TURN 6 OVERCHECK

[Food_Truk]

TURN 7 (FINAL)
back
n͘͏̯̻͕o̙͕̺̣͇̫̜͎̰̜̖̗͓̤͢͞w̴̲͚̦̙̳̳͔̮̮͔̹͖̭̣͉̙̝͓̗͜


The mech's pilot has no option but to try and fend off the 8vians...


"To shreds, you say? Oh my..."


"Makin' my way downtown, goin' fast, gettin' the fudgin' blazes out of this pla-ace..."


Michael's ex-girlfriend recovers from the apple incident.
"WHO THE H-"


"Oh...Oh $#!+..."




The abomination screeches in delight before grabbing the Hammer of Cease & Desist!
"Ą̺̣͎̭̟̬H҉̦͍̲̭̳A͕͈̣̤̟͢H̲A͉̝̺HAH̤̫A̬̬H̛͔AH͙̠͇̪̞͠Ḁ̪̮̭̀H̠̞̱̙̭̪A̴͖͕̩H̸̹̻A̬̰͓̮͉̩͠ͅH̦A̮̟̫̫͓̼͙H̨̲̘̲̖̝̩͓A̼͎̼͉̮H̱A͈͇͍!͚"


It begins chasing the escaping driver!
"Ŗ͕͎̣͓̬̫̻̬̺̣̱͚͠ͅE͝͏̱̮̯̯̹̰͎̲̻̳͙͟͜A̸̰̟̟̝̖̖̰̻̘̰̺̝̞̠͠͝D̕҉͕̦͍͢͟ͅY̵̥͖͍̜͖͙̩̰̻̝̘͘͞ ́͏̮̮͚̖̺̝͙̩̩̞͙̹͢͝O͓̲̱̱͘͡͠R̸̸͕̩̥̹͕͝ ̵̢̺̲͎̗̞̪ͅͅǸ̸̝̳͙͚̰̜̭͚̦ͅƠ̸̟͔̮̪̹̳̦̘̠̗̥͈̜̟͎͚͓T́͏͕̬̭͖̬̥̗̖̰͇̩͇̰͓ͅ,͝͏̵̫̖̲̱ ̷҉̷͟͏͎͉̳͖̯̮͎̠͇͚̖̤̳̲H̷̶̬̝̫̯̜̪̣̦͙͡É̠͕̲̩̙̮̣͚̼̘̕͘R̢͎͈̲͍͕̥͉̯̯̞̱͓̣̹͔̭̜͞ͅE̜̼̖̩̺̥̗͚̠̻̫̺̟͈̘̘̥̲͢͞ ̵̢̧̛̪͎͇̮͖̯̠̫͈̺͝I͔͔̯͓̭̙̠͇̪̫̞͍̯͞ͅ ͏͚̜͎̠͚̗̱͕̦̘͕͖ͅC̵̶͎͙̱̠͈̦̝͢͞O̗̼̣̜̜̞͖̬̞̹̪̫̤͙͖͓̜̕͢͠M̴̲̖̠̳͕̰͇͡E͠͏̡̛͍͇̫͈̰͔̻͈̱̻͕͉̣̪͔̯̠͡ͅ!͏̸̢̢̦͉̭̮̰̘͙̞̣"
" "


The one remaining SWAT officer tries to take down the incoming 10amytes...


But only manages to piss them off.


It climbs onto a nearby corpse and shakes violently, the SWAT officer attempting to shield himself.


The entire corpse is blown to bits and the SWAT officer is sent flying, killing him on impact.


As the 10amytes start moving, Ten Ossum Inches' Random Rain print is once again activated!


A comical falling sound can be heard from the sky...


"What the-"


BAAAAAAAAHM!
Michael's ex-girlfriend is crushed to death by a giant sheep!


"It...hurts so baaaaaah-d..."


Will you little diemonik jerks stop this already? I'm running out of things to toss down. This artifakt was a mistake.


Fine, here's some snakes.
"WHY?!"


The driver stood no chance against the venomous vermin...


SIIIIIIIIIGH. FINE.


Fire rains down upon the snakes. Because I hate snakes and this is a good excuse as any to kill them.


They're dead now.

VICTOR: DIEMONS


"W̸̠ạ̠̞̞i̢t,͓̱̕ ̬͔̰͔̕w̵̥h̶a͖̭ṭ̰́?͖̜"


"W̢̧̖̰̱̫O̳͚̜͕͖O̼̘͉͇̭̮̳͡͞H̰̞̬̣̦̳̘ͅO͚̝͞O͍͎͇͕̱̥͕͜͝͡!͏̝̼̮͎"


The purple 10amytes gather around Sembomoto's corpse, humming an odd and eerie tune...


"Dude...Don't move."
"What, what is it?"
"You've got one of those things on your head."
"WHAT? Bro, get it off!"
"Wait, wait. Let me grab my phone, this'll look really good on BrikBlok."
"BRO???"

FINAL BATTLE OVERVIEW




"H͖͈͙̪̜̟̝̝U̸̬̮̯̟̞̯M̩̣̼̙̫͚͟A͓̫̖̘͖̝͘͢N̝̳͓͓͚̟͘.͟҉̭̞͇"

Oh shit.

"W͇͘ͅͅH̸̼̳̥̫̪͓̩̲A̶̻T̢̖̙̥͚̥͟ ̨͔̖̣̕I̴̠̼̮͚S̷̢͚͓̭̫͔͔̳̹̭͘ ̶҉͙͇̯̗M̭̥̩̣͎Y̮ ͏͙̩̣͕̭͈̥͈N̤̜̤͓͖̠ͅA̢̨̝̮̤̜͍̫̥̘ͅM͏̺̲̦͠Ḛ̝̫͔͎́͝?̜̻̻̰"

So far I've just been calling you Abomination.

"Á̶̠̖͍͙̖̩̩N̢̬̯̟͞ ͇̬͞O̸̮̯͎̘̖ͅS̝̥S̴͎̦̮͈̞̫U̫̖M̷̹̹͡ ̸̸̡̗͍̥̦N̸͎̳̥̗̗̮̗ͅA̻̜͍̜͇̩͖̥̝M͙̬E̛͇̤̪̬̦.̢̤̪̠̜̤̕͞ ̧̹̰͇͍̲̫̼͠ͅI̻̣̻͈̣͉̪̗͕͘͟ ̴̢͍̱͙͇L̼͓̕I̷̯͔͢K̸̥̱Ẹ̵̖͉̟͡ ҉͕̙͖I҉͇T̼͍̞̹͉͍̖̤.̗̹̜̼͖͢"