To Hell With This Campaign

[bertinator]

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*brrrrr* *beep* *yadda yadda* *ratatatata* *boink*

An unusual sight in these empty, quiet fields. The Yellow Partnership has arrived, with portal blueprints and an iron will. They've almost finished the first of many link nodes in their Interdimensional Highway.




A strange aircraft approaches the construction site. It begins a rapid descent.




"Good afternoon, Major!"




"How are things here?"
"Very well. The construction efforts of the yellow partnership are really popping off."




"On our side, we've made serious investments in recruitment and equipment. So far, we're having zero problems guarding these construction sites."




"What about you?"
"A small group of acquinted heroes is keeping me busy. We've agreed to collectively undertake a number of smaller quests. But ofcourse, these are heroes, so everyone is only interested in two things: seizing loot and looking good while doing it. Who knows where this adventure will take us."




"Sounds wonderful. We all trust your poor decision making skills, General. May the dumbest sucker seize the Loot!"
"Thank you for your kind words."




"Well, I best get going. Best of luck here, Major."

[bertinator]

Shortly after the events at the starbase...

"Zjeers people, zoo a glorijous wiktory!"
"Well fought, and welcome back Elyana!"
"And congratulations everyone on your spoils. Some great trophies we took home from that starbase."
"Cheers!"




"It's such a bummer Nervyr died, though. I already miss having him around."
"Mood."
"Yeah, about that. Something feels off about Nervyrs death, or should I say, Fleebvyrs death. I just can't really put my finger on it."




"Oh well, more loot for the rest of us, right?"
"Ja!"
"Aye!"
"Cheers!"

[bertinator]

"Greetings everyone! I see you've found your way back to my bar and helped yourself to some drinks. Good!"




"Glad to have you back with us, Elyana!"
"Glad? I thought you wanted me dead when you started that foodfight in the cantina."




"Oh no, on the contrary. I was very happy you were at the cantina and put up such a good fight. Killing you... I wouldn't do that unless I really had to."




"Then why did you betray Elyana, if not just for fun?"




"Good question. It's because of a theory of mine."
"I lov zose."
"Let's hear it."
"Alright. I havent figured it all out yet. But I guess I can share it with you. Have a seat."

[bertinator]

"As you may know, a group of Studland scientist has been studying a phenomenon they call 'climate change'. Their findings clearly show a diminishing heat of battle in the brikverse, with serious side-effects."
"Now zat you menzion it, ze brikverse does veel kind of kalm lately."
"I think I know what you mean."
"I've noticed this too."




"Now, I believe this puts the brikverse in immediate danger. What if, in the near future, we are faced with a serious threat? An evil force that requires heroic deeds and legendary weapons to repel. What if we're not ready to face such an adversary? I fear that we may be slowly lulling ourselves to sleep."




"What is your solution, Bert? Betray one another, forsake our alliances, just to keep our knives sharp battling each others armies?"
"Nope. Grinding mobs is for amateurs. The answer is simple: Loot."
"Loot?"




"Yes, Loot. In order to stay sharp, we Heroes must do what Heroes do best - we get on stage, make sure we have the spotlight, but most importantly, we abscond with the most glorious of trophies."
"Fuck yeah."
"These trophies, wether they be legendary weapons, treasure, or artifakts, are the answer to all our problems."
"Hear hear."




"We can steal these trophies from the GGE, Legotavia, or even Eschatos. Why do we have to fight amongst each other?"




"Betrayal is inevitable, and that is a good thing. The epic combat and glorious actions preceding our snatch is what provide the Loot items their power. You can't have one without the other - all loot is defended."




"You're right, Bert. As much as I like you guys, the Loot goes above everything else."
"I agree."
"Well put, ja."

...

*ahem* "Excuse me, did someone say Loot?"

[bertinator]

"Hey Vomarsk! Good to see you again!"
"Hi, Vomarsk!"
"Hello. Likewise, Bertinator, Mario, it's nice seeing you both again."




"Let us introduce you to some friends. These are Elyana and Dasher. And I assume you know Bragallot?"
"Hello everyone!"
"Hi!" "Greetings."




"Hallo, Vomarsk. I muzt be leaving, unforzunatlee. Ze Clankers are stuck in Dependenzy Hell zince ze latest oopdate to zeir OS. Damn AstroMike. Auf Wiedersehen!"




"Heh, funny that Brag would mention hell. Bert, Mario, do you remember Manly Santa Day, when you came over to spectate Mammon trying to murder Santa?"
"Absolutely."
"That was epic."




"Well, I kind of forgot about that Hell Portal I opened to let Mammon into our dimension. Some sorcerer has found it and has traveled to Hell."




"What's this sorcerer going to do? Host a barbeque?"




"From what I've heard, the sorcerer is looking for an immensly powerful OTC forged from the fires of Hell."
"Oh shit."




"Yep. Satan is pissed and wants me to take care of it. So I was wondering if you could help me out here? I was thinking we go in and..."




"Steal the OTC from under this guys nose!"




"High five Mario, what a brilliant fuckin' idea."
"Surely the sorcerer will piss off after that, making him someone elses problem. How's that sounds, Vomarsk?"
"I... Uh... Yeah! Let's go!"




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