[BF25] Saturnalia Kill

[Arkbrik]

"Aaaargh - huh?"

Butchie Buzzsaw woke with a start. The memory of a painful dream, where her body was pulled apart by tiny men, faded into nothingness.

The red digits of the clock on the bedside table told her it was 04.04 on Saturnalia morning. The girlfriends she shared the bed with were fast asleep, but Butchie was wide awake.

She laid back and tried to go to sleep again.

She gave up. She got out of bed and sighed. Straightening her spiky mohawk, she went to the kitchen.

Butchie opened the cupboard, and thought about whether she wanted a mug of herbal tea or a shot of whiskey. She cast a glance out the window. The Saturnalia decorations were illuminating the wintry night.

There was a guy in full plate armor standing in the garden.

"The fuck?" Butchie said.

Having slept in her clothes, she was already fully dressed in a pink top, black cargo pants, and yellow combat boots. Butchie picked up her trusty pair of buzzsaws, and went outside.

Approaching the guy, she could see that he wore heavy green armor, with a visored green helmet, though he seemed to be unarmed.

"Hey, asshole!" Butchie called out. "What the hell are you doing on our property?"

"Butchie Buzzsaw." The green-clad man spoke in a slow, deep voice. "I am the Knight of Green, protector of all that lives and grows in the BrikVerse. All this life now faces a deadly peril."

"...Whuh?"

"The foul witch Dracaena has seized the Skully Grail, that ancient artifakt which has power over life and death. In her evil hands, it may cause the end of all living things!"

The knight paused for gravitas. Butchie raised an eyebrow. The knight continued.

"You, Butchie, have been chosen for your strength and skill. You must defeat this witch, and save the BrikVerse. I will give you my blessing - "

"Okay, shut the fuck up!" Butchie interrupted. "Excuse me? A man shows up outside my house in the middle of the night, and orders me to kill a lady I've never heard of? You expect me to just do that because you tell me to? Go to hell!"

"But you must!" the knight said. "The BrikVerse - "

"Shove the BrikVerse up your ass!" Butchie shouted. Her buzzsaws roared to life, and she swung at the knight. He brought his arm up to block. Sparks flew as the spinning sawblade glanced off the green armor.

"Fight me, dickhole!" Butchie struck again, and again the knight's armor protected him.

"So be it, then," the Knight of Green said gravely. He raised a hand.

New branches grew from the garden's trees, covered in fresh leaves. Flowering vines shot out of the snowy ground. Two branches wrapped themselves around Butchie's wrists, and two vines seized her ankles.

"Gah!"

The branches and vines pulled Butchie's limbs in four different directions, raising her off the ground. She was still grasping her buzzsaws, but with her arms stretched wide she couldn't get at any of the plants holding her.

The Knight of Green stepped close, coming face to face with the struggling Butchie.

"If you will not kill for the sake of all life," he said, "then you must die."

The branches and vines were stretching Butchie's body to its breaking point. She was about to be pulled apart. The memory of her awful dream returned...

"No!" Butchie yelled. She swung her head forwards and down. One of her mohawk's spikes went into the eyeslit of the knight's helmet.

"Aaaargh!" The knight stumbled backwards in pain, clutching his helmet. The grip of the branches and vines loosened, and Butchie got her right arm free. She sawed off the plants holding her other limbs, and charged at the knight before he could recover.

"Who I kill is my choice!" Butchie jammed both of her buzzsaws into the gap between the knight's helmet and breastplate. Gore sprayed in all directions as they cut into his neck.

"Guhkhrk," the Knight of Green said.

Butchie pushed her saws all the way through, and the knight's head came off. His body toppled over. The stump of his neck pumped blood onto the snow.

The green plants withered and died in the cold winter night.

"Tch," Butchie said. She turned around and walked back towards the house. The memory of her dream had vanished. Butchie felt the warmth and cheer of Saturnalia filling her, and she smiled. She and all of her girlfriends would have a wonderful day together.

* * *

The headless body of the Knight of Green stood back up. It picked up the head, and plopped it back on the neck.

The knight coughed.

"Dark days await the BrikVerse."

He walked away into the night.

[bertinator]

Concept & Theme: 7/10
Form: 7/10
Voice: 8/10
Style: 15/20
Presentation: 8/10

[lunchboxninja]

Concept and Theme--10/10
Form--9/10
Voice--8/10
Style--17/20

Presentation--8/10

[Scratch]

Concept & Theme: 8/10
Form: 7/10
Voice: 8/10
Style: 15/20
Presentation: 8/10