A Certain Amperian Loop

[Zahru II]

Clearly, S C I E N C E is above petty things such as hygienics.

[Zupponn]

Stupid nerds. Use deodorant.

[Tzan]

[The Shadowscythe]

Those are some disturbingly meaty humanoid fingers making their way through a hole in reality being reflected in that phone . . .

[Tzan]

I Photoshopped the stains out and the fingers in.


( Dictionary
So Photoshopped is in it.
The lower case "p" photoshopped showed as an error. )

[loafofcheese]

If you want to be a heretic like me, you can use either Brasso or Jif in combination with a q-tip to remove printing in a small area, I use it for double sided heads.

[cleanupcrew]

Comptoir Internationale restaurant, Unicité


Dr. Lamar: What took you so long? The serving robot already took drink orders, so I got the usual Evian mineral water.
Dr. Mikoto: For a delayed dismissal from a meeting a few dozen light-years away, I’d say being dilatory by a few minutes isn’t too shabby.


Dr. Lamar: Oh right, you had that big meeting today with the Council. How’d it go?
Dr. Mikoto: I’m thankful that even despite my duties as a Director-General I don’t have to deal with them more often. They’re a collection of the most shut-in, dysfunctional, and ego-tripping scientists Trattoria could gather. I don’t even know how they became scientists with their attitudes and inability to listen to others. Anyway, what have you been up to? That doesn’t look like the Trattorian labcoat uniform I know.


Dr. Lamar: Well, today was a casual day at the Engineering Department. It’s probably from all the actual work we do, compared with the other Departments where they fill whiteboards and stare at test tubes all day.
Dr. Mikoto: Good job trivializing my job. I’ll have you know that in the chemistry department we actually do quite—
Dr. Lamar: Well, you didn’t answer my original question. How did the meeting go?


Dr. Mikoto: *sigh* Well, I technically can’t tell you. You know how the Council is—classify this, seal that. You’re vaguely aware of the BBB right? Not that you do any work related to it, but with your security clearance you’ve probably seen it mentioned somewhere. They basically handle magic and impossible stuff, the kind we find in Bavaria.
Dr. Lamar: I’m guessing they’re not very friendly with the Magicians Alliance.
Dr. Mikoto: Nope. Trying to study their anomalies for anything other than contriving ways to destroy them is near-impossible. Dr. Yuan was the only one who seemed to understand how unscientific the whole ordeal is.


Serving Robot: Have the doctors decided on their dinner?
Dr. Mikoto: One filet mignon, medium well.
Dr. Lamar: One caviar pizza, extra cheese.


Dr. Mikoto: Now, where were we?
Dr. Lamar: You were gushing about how Department Chair Dr. Yuan noticed what you said and...
Dr. Mikoto: Well, I’d call that an exaggeration.


Dr. Mikoto: Still though, I wish the Trattorian scientific community were more collaborative and accepting. The Council has gained too much power and now it rules Trattorian science with an iron fist. If anyone disagrees with them, they can discredit or dispose of them easily. It honestly reminds me too much of Galileo and the Triangulist Inquisition.


Dr. Lamar: That’s a pretty severe comparison, to draw a parallel between the Council and some religious cult.
Dr. Mikoto: Well, to put it simply, I just don’t feel the Trattorian scientific community is very scientific anymore. So what if we can’t explain magic? There was a time when people couldn’t explain microbes, and here we are with Miracle Cure.


Dr. Mikoto: I have personally never splurged on the caviar pizza before. How is it?
Dr. Lamar: Well, I got a pay level increase a few days ago, so I thought I’d celebrate. I’m assuming the steak is good as always?
Dr. Mikoto: It’s a filet mignon, Dr. Lamar. Not the best I’ve had, but at least it was cut out of a real, once-living animal. I remember going to Wash-a-ton DC once for a lab visit, and the meat there is some awful, artificially-cultured stuff.


Dr. Lamar: Well, it’s too bad hearing you complain about the Council. Your opinion on them is pretty clear, but I personally think it would be really cool to have an actual discussion with them one day.
Dr. Mikoto: Trust me, you don’t.


The two scientists rose from their seats, paying individually on their phones via Appel Pay.
Dr. Mikoto: Then again, there are some things you have to see to believe.

[Quantumsurfer]

I love all of this. Extremely well done with the settings.

[stubby]

Dr. Mikoto: For a delayed dismissal from a meeting a few dozen light-years away, I’d say being dilatory by a few minutes isn’t too shabby.

Oh god, they even misuse thesaurus words like you. Is this a kanon feature of the Trattorian dialect now?

Dr. Lamar: Well, I got a pay level increase a few days ago, so I thought I’d celebrate. I’m assuming the steak is good as always?
Dr. Mikoto: It’s a filet mignon, Dr. Lamar. Not the best I’ve had, but at least it was cut out of a real, once-living animal. I remember going to Wash-a-ton DC once for a lab visit, and the meat there is some awful, artificially-cultured stuff.

But she had it medium well! It's not even meat anymore!

The two scientists rose from their seats, paying individually on their phones via Apple Pay.

Ha ha ha all right this made me lol. You win this round

[cleanupcrew]

Dr. Mikoto: For a delayed dismissal from a meeting a few dozen light-years away, I’d say being dilatory by a few minutes isn’t too shabby.

Oh god, they even misuse thesaurus words like you. Is this a kanon feature of the Trattorian dialect now?

If I were to try to rebut this by explaining why I felt it wasn't a misuse, would that count as a ban-worthy correction of grammar?

[Silent-sigfig]

But she had it medium well! It's not even meat anymore!

Glad I'm not the only one that picked this up.

[stubby]

Dr. Mikoto: For a delayed dismissal from a meeting a few dozen light-years away, I’d say being dilatory by a few minutes isn’t too shabby.

Oh god, they even misuse thesaurus words like you. Is this a kanon feature of the Trattorian dialect now?

If I were to try to rebut this by explaining why I felt it wasn't a misuse, would that count as a ban-worthy correction of grammar?

Actually I was genuinely asking -- if this is on purpose, then it's pretty funny, and I'm in favor of it. Even if it's not on purpose, it's not too late to retkon and pretend that it is. I would totally buy into that kanon for Trattoria: good at hard science subjects, shit at humanities.

"Dilatory" describes an action that's deliberately intended to obstruct and delay. It's tough to think of a situation in which people could intend themselves as dilatory. Maybe if you're running from zombies and you kick over your friend's wheelchair and toss him behind you, then he could be considered dilatory in a stretch, but really it'd be the act of kicking him that was dilatory.

Violation:
Only Blitzen can criticize grammar

[Vami IV]

I really enjoy this soap.

[cleanupcrew]

Outside Unicité orbit, Concordium system, Mer Rep of Trattoria


"Dr. Mikoto, I assure you that Unicité is safe from any possible foreign attack. Besides, the fighter escort should suffice out of an abundance of caution."


Dr. Mikoto: Still, did you really have to provide me with this ostentatious Cauchy shuttle? The gold plating alone would more than entice your average space pirate.
"Again, I affirm that we would receive any warning of an attack from Commercium—"


Shuttle pilot: Three hostile contacts incoming. No ships or warp signatures detected, enemies appear to be attempting a boarding raid.
Dr. Mikoto: *sigh* Those bureaucrats really lack common sense, making our ship this identifiable...


Fenstermacher: I am Imperial Kleagle Aurel Fenstermacher, Caster of Disaster, Beamer of Lemur, and Cardinal of the Farcical! I'll have you know that I'm one of the best in the craft of warping, and in the name of the Magicians Alliance I shall retrieve what is rightfully ours.


Fenstermacher: Tremble before my might, puny muggles!
Dr. Mikoto's bodyguards immediately rise and pound the mage with gunfire.


Fenstermacher: Fools! Do you think mere bullets will harm me? No mage graduates magical middle school without learning how to create a projectile barrier.


Fenstermacher: On the other hand, you metal golems, robots or something or other, your muggle shields won't help you one bit...


A Grey phases in, his katana materializing within a robot's vital circuit component.


Silver Grey: Hey Don Mago, clip the monologuing and whack the bitch already so we can take the vig.
Fenstermacher: Alright alright, just remember who's paying you.


Fenstermacher: I, Imperial Kleagle Aurel Fenstermacher, Caster of Disaster, Beamer of Lem—


A Trattorian Recovery Force teleports in, the mage exploding from a Quantum-Tunnel Cannon shell to the head. The other TRFs spray gunfire at the Greys, whose Tower-of-Justice-honed skills allow them to deftly dodge it.


Gold Grey: Shit, Don Mago's dead.
Silver Grey: No dough and some heavy Bootlickers, time to bail.


TRF Operative: This is TRF-42524-5 reporting the doctor's exposure to BB-C-W-09982. Apparently the bottle shattered in the crossfire, requesting back-up.


TRF Commander: Shit, this is TRF-42524 to command, we've got a Class E containment breach here. We're going to teleport Dr. Mikoto to Soledad immediately for quarantine and treatment.

[Quantumsurfer]

Kickass, man.