BATTLE OF THE MAREN ROUND 2(complete, send orders please)

Post by **Silverdream** » Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:04 pm

BAVARIAN REUZENMACHT

The Valkyries pick up the dogs of war and...

Put down their shields in the process. They also throw them into the lines to create chaos.

The fourth one wasn't able to reach the magistrate, so he just decided to dick around.

Because of their low skill, they only get one kill. However, it was a good kill.

The Valkyries' leader skis ahead and notices the spy.

First the failed heroic feat, now this. Oh well, it's not like he was important to the campaign.

The Riflemen pick up the discarded shields(+2 armour) and move up.

Although they weren't in range of Byron or James DeSilva, they were in range of the pirate hero.

Due to high damage rolls and one redshirt, Finlay is on his last HP.

"THARS LIL' BASTAHDS"

The only sniper who isn't obstructed by rocks and crap and makes a good skill roll fires at the Spurdog.

I liked this effect, so it's here twice.

The Spurdog loses 2 hp(2 left)

"You are the saddest, ugliest hun bastards I have ever seen! I doubt you could occupy the space equivalent of Belgium!"

General Witold Pilecki's feat beats the dice. (+1 skill to everyone next round. Remind me in the PM next turn as I forgot this turn).

Post by **Lord Mercat** » Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:16 pm

Haha, awesome!

Post by **Bragallot** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 12:59 pm

He insulted the Belgians. That man is going to die.

Post by **Silverdream** » Sat Oct 29, 2011 2:16 pm

PIRATES

The Guitarist takes a swig of maniac beer.

"Alright, let's fuck shit up to eleven"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH8cu4KMc3I

Rakka-takka-rakka-takka-diggy-dun-diggy-dun-diggy-dun-diggy-breeeeeeeee

A stage builds itself out of the metal created. Finlay attempts to sing, but chokes on the drink in his throat. This unmanliness and unscottishliness and unpirateness cancels out the positive effects of the metal.

A metal Warrior comes to defend the metal(controlled by pirates).

The Dwarven Pirate fires his Assyrian Laser Rifle with great accuracy.

At a dog.

The Metal Warrior shoots the other dog behind enemy lines.

"Sure is quiet around here. I mean, excluding the loud metal solo and gunfire"

The Spurdog takes a bite from behind, making his nova sword and Krupp shielding useless.

Nom

The Spurdog regenerates a hitpoint(3/4)

FINNISH ALPINE TROOPS

The ice ray decides to freeze the spurdog.

With success. She might be able to break out next turn if rolls are good.

The Panzerfaust trooper flies up and decides on Byron.

Attack roll ended up 24. The nova sword failed to block it, but luckily the defense roll was 24. The rocketeer next to him died however.

Now out of ammo, the PF trooper picks up an Australian's rifle.

BoBby Hayha picks off a rocketeer on the wall.

The ice truck and Jetpacker move up.

Post by **Robot Monkey** » Sat Oct 29, 2011 9:30 pm

Where are the RIN commandoes you said there's be? I'd be happy to send orders for them.

Post by **Silverdream** » Sun Oct 30, 2011 1:48 am

Oh, they got made into boers. The Boers were already taken by someone else. If that person doesn't send orders you can have them.

Post by **Silverdream** » Sun Oct 30, 2011 3:50 pm

BOERS

The Boers move up. Too bad no one is in range.

BRITANNIANS OF THE YELLOW

First the Brits move two inches away from each other, then they take cover behind the wall and take response actions.

Then, Admiral Byron DeSilva of the Yellow fires his anal disruptor with resounding success.

"ZE GOGGLES, ZEY DO NOSSING"

The Anal disruptor shoots beams of radiation. It is common to hit people/constructions/babies behind when the dice say so.

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

He's dead. The only Fynns left are BoBby and the Truck.

Her Majesty's Admiral Byron DeSilva of the Yellow Sector puts down his Nova Sword.

And reads his poetry.

"She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!"

"Zat voesn't bod."
"Dah, pretty guten"
"SCHEIN ZEIN GOTTEN SCHLUPPEN"
(failed feat)

"Greetings German Troops, would you care to look at some photography of Great Queen Briktoria I?"

"Is that supposed to be a vagina or something? It's too pixellated."

Duke James DeSilva of the Yellow Sector decides to drop it and get behind the walls.

The Magistrate begins to move towards the enemy.

It raises it's arm cannons to deliver a volley.

Sucess! Valkyries are eliminated.

Blood flows over the land. The Fynns and Australians who have charged bravely towards the enemy now lay as bodies. Do not let their sacrifices be in vain!

Then the terrible and impressive machine opens fire with it's chest mounted gatling gun.

The last dog is killed. Meaning that the entire front line has been wiped out.

In other news, the fire in the middle of the field starts to go out.

Post by **Silverdream** » Sun Oct 30, 2011 3:51 pm

Also, I could give you(Robotmonkey) Otto Skorzeny. I will introduce him and the Secret faction at the end of this turn.

Post by **mgb519** » Sun Oct 30, 2011 4:12 pm

..now I really want to get in on this action, even if odds are completely (hilariously) stacked against me. Any chance of that happening?

Post by **Bragallot** » Sun Oct 30, 2011 4:27 pm

Good robot

Post by **Silverdream** » Sun Oct 30, 2011 5:08 pm

mgb519 wrote:..now I really want to get in on this action, even if odds are completely (hilariously) stacked against me. Any chance of that happening?

You think the odds are stacked against you already? Just because the Defenders are low on men and a crapload of Third Alliancers have been slaughtered?

You have not begun to realize how screwed everyone is.

But yeah, I guess I could give you a spot as another Third alliance hero or a Britannian hero to be introduced. Both of them have character, and both could appear on the battlefield at any time.

Post by **Silverdream** » Sun Oct 30, 2011 5:12 pm

Anywho,

ZAHRU AND THE CTHULU CULTISTS

Kali mah, Ash-kee-tai, Hum num shavai, Hum num shavai

A cultist's blood is spilled to sate the Elder Gods' thirst.

In Reward, 3 Chaos Roaches appear out of thin air.

Zahru takes out a crossbow and SMG, the modern slayer's weapons.

He takes a running jump off the icy ramp.

DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA

The sea beast's icy cage is broken, and warm blood flows out of her mouth.

Zahru takes cover behind the corpse. His SMG and Punt Gun need to be reloaded, but he has his crossbow and three pistols that are still good.

The ranks are now reformed by the Cultists and Chaos Roaches. Onward Pagan Soldiers.

END PHASE

Otto Skorzeny, decorated veteran, great warrior and a hero of the third alliance appears(Robot Monkey).

Overview.

"Wot in the name of the enigma called badger's tadgers are you?"
"I am an Officer of the SSSS(Silvarian Secret Strategic Services). I have been sent to protect both you and your son from dying."
"Wot?"
"If the anal disruptor and the collective contents fall into undead hands.."
"Wait, what undead?"

A sandy tomb rises from the grassy ground.

Four Mummies appear. More will come.

Meanwhile, 6 skellies come from the other side of the battlefield.

Post by **Robot Monkey** » Sun Oct 30, 2011 6:25 pm

Otto Skorzeny? I am honored.

Post by **Bragallot** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:45 am

Great so far

I'm not so concerned about that mass of troopers, the vehicles and enemy heroes are another story though.

Post by **Zahru II** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:41 am

Great so far; though some overview shots would be nice at the end of turns.