*disclaimer: The battle report skips around a bit which happens when you're playing a live game.
**disclaimer: Yes I used space ninjas, space mafia, space conquistadors and loosely Akkadia
I had just read Quest of Piltogg which is dope and I've always loved Natalya's stuff like Death War and Jungle Rampage
Also a big fan of scratch
Introduction:
In the far reaches of the outer rim of the Nehellenium galaxy
various forces battle for relevancy.
*Akkadia (Whoops)
A loved one is taken
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OVERWATCH
The Factions are:
The RLA (The Robot Liberation Army): 8 militia, 4 Construction Worker Bots, Drill bot, and Stalin MkII
The Knights of Cydonia: 3 knights of Cydonia, 2 Cydonian squires, and Sir John
The Moonmen of Jupiter 6: 6 Moonmen Soldiers, 3 Moonmen Assault Troopers, and MoonMan COMMANDER
The USTR (The United States of Teddy Roosevelt): 8 mounted Teddy Roosevelt Rough Riders, Murder monkey, Teddy Roosevelt 27
CLAN MACDOOGAL 4 Mounted sheepriders, 3 berserkers, Grandma, and CHIEF HAGGIS
The Akkadian Allies: which consists of
-The Space Mafia: 5 space slavs, 3 Mob Hitmen, Don Farro
-The Space Ninjas: 4 space ninjas, Papa Shinobi
-The Space Conquistadors: 4 space Conquistadors, El Cid
The RLA overview: Stalin MKII looking very patriotic in the lower left corner, Drill bot also showing some robot commie gusto in this pic
Stalin MK II the leader of the Robot Liberation Army posing for a pic with the construction worker bots behind him
Drill bot and the other militia members
Akkadian Ally overview:
Space Don Farro with his mob hitmen backing him up
El Cid looking menacing with his Conquistadors posted up behind him
Papa Shinobi and his space ninja entourage
Akkadian Ally's stat card, objectives were written on the back
CLAN MACDOOGAL overview SHEEPRIDERS are next to CHIEF HAGIS while grandma is behind the hut and the beserkers are flexing their shirtless bearded bodies in front.
CHIEF HAGIS wears a sick gold viking helmet with platinum plated horns and has a bitchin double edged battleaxe
The Moonmen of Jupiter 6 overview:
Moonman COMMANDER is flanked by his soldiers to the left and his assault troopers to the right
Closer up, you can see he wields a sweet beam saber and sports a rockin' fully grown mustache
The Knights of Cydonia overview:
the two Squires/repairmen are up front, with the 3 Cydonian Knights at their rear, and their hero Sir John Hulking over all of them
The USTR overview:
The Teddys are all over the ridge, Murder Monkey that dastardly mechanation of swinging mercenary scum is near the bottom of the picture. The Teddy clone in charge of this regiment is Teddy 28 he rides a black horse and wields a saber.
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Game Start
Backside view of The Akkadians Allies, the Space Slavs move up only to do almost nothing the entire game
USTR moves up
USTR starts a defensive horsewall
Grandma moves up and pulverizes a Cydonian squire's noggin (They will remember this)
Moon man soldiers and Moonman COMMANDER move up and over the wall to hack the crashed Akkadian UFO device (to hack the device a unit must stand a whole turn adjacent to the crashed device without being interrupted)
That decrepit horror: Murder monkey moves onto the stone fence and surveys the battlefield with his hideous eyes
The Cydonian Knights seek revenge for their fallen countryman (they fail to do any damage to grandma)
CHIEF HAGGIS OF CLAN MACDOOGAL throws his battleaxe like a boomerang and beheads a moonman soldier, but not before Drill bot emerges right underneath the Akkadian Device (much to the dismay of the moonmen soldiers trying to hack it)
Sir John's attack of righteous vengeance is not enough to penetrate grandma's thick crusty skin
The Moonman COMMANDER attempts to CONVERT drill bot to the blinding bliss of mother Moon but instead triggered his robo sleeper agent protocol (Heroic feat Crit fail +1 unit for RLA)
a lone moon man soldier stares down two sheepriders
CHIEF HAGIS decapitates the moonman soldier after he succeeded in shooting off one of CHIEF HAGIS'S SHEAPS legs
Sir John swings his mighty polearm once more to avenge his fallen attendant
He succeeds to cleave off one of poor Grandma's arms
(Not pictured:The Moonmen manage to hack the device and retrieve the disc)
Teddy Roosevelt 28 murders the Moonman carrying the disc and takes it for "The United States of Me!" all while remaining seated on his trusty stead
The USTR rough riders use their advanced Teddy Tactics™ to create a Wall of Horses
they then show the commies what for!
the RLA sleeper agent (formerly MoonMan Commander) attempts to kill teddy 28 and fails
the slavs move up... once again
CHIEF HAGIS Seeking to send more trespassers to hell for the death of his sheep throws his mighty axe and kills two of the space slavs
]one of the Cydonian Knights manages to cut off teddy 28's hand that was carrying the disc
teddy and his horse kick the shit out of him though
The rough riders climb onto the ridge and open fire, mercilessly slaughtering the poor Moonman Assault Trooper's 2 compadres
The sole survivor is in anguish
Don Farro uses his valentines day special but its as if he was using rubber bullets! (The Viking's skin is too thick)
The slavs fearing they wont be able to get any sort of action start to advance towards the RLA
Grandma uses one of the Cydonian Knights as a human projectile
To great effect KaPOW!!
The Cydonian make-shift Projectile kills everything in it's path (Teddy 28, Teddy's horse, the RLA sleeper agent, and two Cydonian Knights)
(he's leaping into the air)
Sir John is quite dis-pleased with Grandma and does what any Cydonian Mega Knight worth their salt would do..
Pelver-ize!!!
( heroic feat to crush Grandma with his very strong Pelvis succeeds)
After recovering from the shock of losing his whole squad the lone Moonman Assault Trooper proceeds
lay into the teddy firing line
his first shot hits
and he keeps firing until only one of the roughriders remain...
(Not pictured: after delivering an *EPIC* monologue he shoots the last roughrider on the ridge in the head)
overlooking the carnage his vengeance had wrought, the lone Assault Trooper takes off his helmet and just stands for a little while. He says a silent prayer for his fallen brethren and curses "why couldn't it have been me".
The Trooper sheds a single tear
wow how sad
After killing the vile and horrendous Murder Monkey Sir John of The Cydonian Knights retrieves the disc
(Not pictured: Sir John then fires up his boosters and gets the hell out by "ironman-ing" out )
Winning the game for the Knights of Cydonia!
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There's some stuff that happened that wasn't pictured like the RLA and Stalin MKII killing the mob hitmen and I think somebody looked in the Viking shed (Didn't find anything)
-------------------------------------------EXTRA-----------------------------------------------------------
Nathan made a n-a-z-i blood ritual how ORIGINAL
There were a bunch of different character sheets I made but I can't find them right now
