The Dimmy's Guide to the Galaxy
Welcome, new Brikwarrior, to the fabulous and convoluted world of Brikwars!
This page will help you dive into the game and the community kanon that has been built out of two decades of Brikwars.
- 1 How to play
- 2 Key Concepts
- 2.1 Philosophy
- 2.2 Weapons and Creations
- 2.3 Legendary Characters
- 3 History
- 3.1 Prehistory
- 3.2 Modern Era
- 3.3 Side Plots
How to play
Building an Army
- ranged and melee soldiers
- Basic constructions
Creating a Scenario
- Special effects
- Photography and storytelling
Explaining it to Your Mom
- rules summary
- how to let the other player think they are doing well
- faction theming
- Supernatural Dice
- awesome constructions
- forum battles
Perhaps the first thing you noticed about Brikwars is the missing "c" from the word "brick." One of the most common tropes in Brikwars is to purposely misspell words to highlight their badassery. Replace a syllable of a word with "Brik," as in "Brikpokalypse." Use letter substitutions such as "K" for boring old "C," as in "Magik" or "Artifax." Punny names and outright misspellings fall under this concept. A similar concept is that "all lists start with 6."
Many things in Brikwars, including the brands of konstruction toys that the game is played with, fall under kopyright. Kopyright is a set of laws to encourage creators to get extra sneaky when stealing ideas from other creators. Brikwarriors draw from a Brikwars Canon that includes European History, Star Wars, Warhammer, Evangelion, Gundam, and classic LEGO themes. However, due to Kopyright, the concepts borrowed from these foundational texts are usually renamed and/or remixed to avoid litigation. For example, there is no such thing as a lightsaber(c) - but there is a laser sword.
Human years are referred to as Brik Rekonstruktions. For example, the year 1985 is known as B.R. 1,985. The time elapsed in a B.R. is not correlated to the time in a human year, nor do all minifigures experience the same amount of time during a single B.R. Events may not even happen in chronological order in a B.R! This makes it a fairly useless tool for talking about history in the Brikwars Kanon. Sorry.
The most important element of a Brikwar is Ossum (a misspelling of "awesome"). When choosing between following the game rules and doing the most ossum thing, do the most ossum thing. Much of what follows is just the most ossum stories and battles people have written.
The second most important element of a Brikwar is Fudge. Fudge is what allows you to choose the ossum things and not get too wrapped up in the details of a game. When stuck on how to do something in game, just make up something that allows you to do the most ossum thing. Fudge is also liberally applied in retelling the Brikwars Kanon. See also Retkon.
Weapons and Creations
Orange Transparent Chainsaw
The most powerful minifig weapon in Brikwars is the Orange Transparent Chainsaw. It can cut through all materials, cannot be parried, and is usually wielded by the most epik characters. Transitively, Orange Transparent is the most powerful material in Brikwars. Other transparent materials exist and have interesting powers, and are even preferred by other factions, but they are always inferior to Orange Transparent.
The second most powerful minifig weapon in Brikwars is the Nova Sword. This is typically a lightsaber hilt with a stack of transparent studs on it. In universe, it is an energy sword powered by a small pulsar in the handle. It is good for bashing heads in.
The third most powerful minifig weapon is the SHIP. A SHIP is a space warship that is at least 100 studs long. This makes it a mobile, practically indestructible, fortress bristling with guns and filled with troops.
Super Heavy Death Tank
The SHDT is the land equivalent of a SHIP. It is not necessarily 100 studs long, but it is massive and ossum.
SHIPs and SHDTs are the weapons people use when they want to win. Mecha is what you use when you're ossum. Why else would you bring a building sized melee weapon to a gun fight?
The ultimate weapon is the battlefield. Battlefields are traps created by Humans to lure dozens of minifigures to their deaths. Battlefields have killed more minifigures than even OTCs.
Brikthulhu is an ancient one presiding over the Brikverse. His goal is to destroy minifigurekind by imposing total sanity upon them. All apokalyptic events are related to Brikthulhu.
Pacifass is the antithesis of all things Brikwars. He likes Peace, Love, and Vegetables.
Dimmies are lovable child-like minifigures that are useless at things. Regular minifigures despise dimmies.
Dungans and Shitgoats are icky poop worshippers. Regular minifigures kill these from a distance.
In the beginning there was nothing. Then, the Great Builder created Baseplates, and minifigs to populate the baseplates. The Great Builder separated the minifigs by theme and set them to war amongst themselves. The greatest themes were Space and Castle, and their wars were glorious. Eventually, one champion emerged that was superior to all other minifigs, the Deadly SpaceMan.
Deadly SpaceMen and the Tron Lineage
When the Deadly SpaceMan had slain all inferior beings, the Great Builder blessed him with a multitudinous empire in his own image. The DSM himself wore a blue spacesuit, and those like him formed the bulk of his conquering forces. His red forces formed the backbone of his infantry, and the white forces served as special forces. The yellow forces asserted dominance over conquered peoples by constructing moonbases wherever they went, and the cunning black forces commanded with an iron fist.
The Deadly SpaceMan Empire established the dominance of Space within the Brikverse, pushing Castle and other themes to the outskirts of civilization. The DSM Empire also purged the Brikverse of CLOan bricks, defeating the Nega-Bloktrix and banishing her forces to the Negaverse.
The Empire flourished under the Pax Galaxia as the descendants of the Deadly SpaceMen multiplied and evolved to fit the unique worlds they had discovered. The original Deadly SpaceMan disappeared into legend, and a power vacuum developed. Lord Future the Unifier stepped up to hold the empire together, modernizing military technology and improving the galactic economy. However, a rebellion broke out, led by the DarkTron Faction. Lord Future attempted to squash the rebellion with his SpaceCops, but DarkTron simply returned as DarkTron II. Lord Future quickly lost control of large swaths of his empire. An independent colony of SpaceMen on Iceworld discovered Orange Transparent, a material that could be forged into unstoppable weapons. A faction calling themselves the Manly Men, led by the Manly Fuckin' Santa, claimed to harness the power of "magnets" to train unbreakable shock troops. As more and more factions asserted independence, the Deadly SpaceMan Empire collapsed into civil war.
The survivors of the DSM Civil War divided into mighty StarShip Civilizations. Multiple factions banded together to form each Civiliation, united by common color schemes and doctrines. Each built a massive StarShip to house its people and set out to seek a new home. It is believed there were 48 of these StarShips, but only eight are recorded in history. They are:
- Johar, the Yellow Raiders
- Setvia, the Red Robot Socialist Republik
- Meikon, the Blue Federation
- Aennri, the Green Autocracy
- Kirsiti, the White Knights
- Kraan, the Black Empire
- Rios, the Orange Conspiracy
- Pantus, the Grey Threat
These eight factions colonized the region of space surrounding the Nehellenium Galaxy and fought many epic wars there. Many Brik Rekonstruktions passed, the original StarShips were scrapped for parts, and the factions continued to divide and evolve. The people forgot their first purpose, and settled down on planets to form "societies" and "order." This displeased the Great Builder, but the Kanon had already begun to disrupt the natural cycle of Brik Rekonstruktion. For a time, the people fought only petty, local wars, and this was boring.
Main Page: Triangulist-FoBoB War
Triangulism was the first religion to really spread throughout the galaxy. A prophet, known only as The Wizard introduced belief in the Great Triangle, which amounted to little more than an over-analysis of the universe to point everything to triangles. This religion was an abomination to the Great Builder Two-by-Two, who is of course, a square. Triangulists became known for the gibbering madness induced by their conspiracy theories. Opposing Triangulism were The Followers of BoB, a hidden cult that revealed itself to defeat the Triangulists. BoB was an omnipotent god of slaughter, power, and ketchup who attracted powerful factions to his cause. The Triangulists and the Followers of BoB found themselves diametrically opposed and religious war ravaged the galaxy. A third faction that worshipped Raptor Jesus later entered the war. Little archaeological evidence remains from this war, but it is known that they fought, and it was probably rad. More importantly, the war awoke the bloodlust of the people of Nehellenium, and their hearts were set on epic, galactic war.
In B.R. 2,003, the first Peaches appeared in the Brikverse. Up to that point, minifigs had been a pure, yellow-skinned race after the DSM. It is debated whether the mutation was natural or caused by malicious forces. The first Peaches were basketball players, whose skin mutation came with side effects that made them extremely athletic. This had a limited effect on galactic politics until the mutation spread to the factions of the Space Wars, which had significant military power and influence. Because the Space Wars were the first to be affected, some point to the Lando Accords as the cause of the mutation itself. The yellow-skinned minifigs quickly segregated from the peaches out of fear that the mutation would spread to them as well. Peach minifigs in turn conducted strange experiments on yellow-skinned figs, such as development of the Peach Virus, and sought to conquer the galaxy. A number of large conflicts were waged between peaches and yellows. The Peach Liberation Army and the 45th Union were the leading peach factions early on, and their main foe was the Assyrian Star Empire. The ASE conducted several genocides against peaches known as the Assyrian Peach Exterminations. Over time, the peach-yellow conflict has subsided as minifigs eschewed racial violence for more lighthearted fare. Though some hold on to the old grudges, peaches and yellows have roughly equal status today, and even coexist in a number of factions.
Main Page: Immortal War
The Immortal Empire was forged in B.R. 1,980 in a galaxy neighboring Nehellenium. Over the course of nearly 30 B.R's, The Immortals grew beyond their humble beginnings as a DSM colony into a galactic empire. The Immortal Emperor's family grew beyond number and survived multiple internal conflicts. By the B.R. 2,009, the Immortals' home galaxy could no longer contain their ambitions, so the Emperor set his eyes on the nearby Galaxia Nehellenium, its nascent space empires ripe for invasion.
The Emperor selected an adopted member of his family to lead the invasion, Warhead. Warhead had established himself as one of the most ruthless and hardcore generals in the ranks of the Immortal Hordes. Warhead chose the Gamma Corps' home world Fico to establish his beachhead because of the useful technology and resources there. At Fico, the Immortal Hordes discovered that Nehellenium would not be easily invaded, taking heavy losses from the battle. Warhead himself was slain by the Gamma Corps leader Codename: Aegis. Warhead, however, being immortal, instead shattered into shards, and murdered Aegis with his own decapitated head. 
Despite this setback, the Immortals managed to overcome the Gamma Corps' defenses and conquer FICO. The Immortals formed an alliance with a number of powers, including Britannia, the VOL, and the Time Traveling Super Jews. The Immortal Alliance was opposed by the Anti-Immortal Alliance, whose members included Assyria, the USA, and The Great Scythian Empire. There were no neutral powers, as the fate of the entire galaxy was on the line. Warhead's shards led various legions into battle throughout Nehellenium, while at the same time trying to absorb each other to consolidate power.
The Anti-Immortal Alliance was able to stymie the Immortals' invasion on all major fronts, and a coalition naval force was able to destroy their base at Fico. This defeat crippled the Immortals and cut them off from resupply. However, the Immortals refused to surrender, leading to a protracted stalemate that continues to this day.
- ??? stuff happens
Main Page: Allied Nations - Third Alliance War
Through the course of the Immortal War, the factions of Nehellenium learned the value of diplomacy. The Allied Nations was formed to provide structure to this new tool of war, and membership was mandatory. The AN proved to be immediately controversial, and a group of nations known as the Third Alliance announced its intention to leave the Allied Nations assembly. The primary reasons for the split were the AN's implicit acceptance of Peaches, and something about free beer.
The Third Alliance was formed out of several vaguely germanic-styled states. The founding members were Bavaria, Akkadia, and the Austrian Hegemony. Later members included the Luchardsko Empire, Neo Prussia, and the RIN, among others. Having invited war on themselves from a number of nations with extremely powerful space navies, the TA began to rely on unconventional tactics. They pitted small vessels and boarding parties against the enemy's battlecruisers, and used infiltrate-and-destroy strategies on land. The war opened with Avalonians kidnapping Angela, the President of Trattoria. The AN's answer was an invasion of ZMC mercenaries to harass and disrupt Avalon's operations. The war continued, primarily in MicroSpace battles, following a pattern of TA forces trying to destroy supply lines and military assets as the AN drove wedges into the incompetency and in-fighting within TA leadership. However, the AN was unprepared for the depth of conspiracy planned by the TA. During a fairly standard engagement over a TA mining colony, Trattorian forces suddenly appeared and destroyed the AN coalition fleet. Kaiserin Siri, a rising politician, had engineered President Angela's kidnapping to instate herself as the head of state and achieve galactic domination. The defection of Trattoria turned the tide of the war firmly in the Third Alliance's favor. Using advanced portal technology, the TA made a direct strike against New York, the political and economic center of the AN. In an epic battle, the TA defeated the AN defense force. A parallel strike against the capital of Britannia, Pendragon, killed most of its government. The AN surrendered and dissolved.
Many who defended the Allied Nations still longed for revenge, however. A year after the Battle of New York, Praetoria had rebuilt its navy and together with the USA and Great Scythian Empire sought to retake New York. The Second Battle of New York was a resounding victory for the AN forces, despite the TA summoning a planet-sized monster known as the Angel Sahaquiel. The AN-TA war resumed. The former AN states formed NATO, the Neu-AN Treaty Organization. Kaiserin Siri was assassinated by her own Science Council and Trattoria joined NATO. After several minor engagements, NATO launched Operation Dominion's Call, a thrust into the TA toward Fleck, Bavaria's capital system. By this time, the TA was weakening under its own internal pressures, but Bavaria summoned as many of its allies as it could. The TA's strategies, so effective as an offense, could not defend against the resurgent NATO navies, and combat soon reached Bavaria's doorstep.
A secret meeting between NATO and TA leadership led to the drafting of the Treaty of Planet Versailles. The treaty ended the war and reestablished the AN, with the TA in membership. NATO Secretary-General Stolenburger and TA Herr Direktor Man in the Top Hat were the chief signatories, along with 14 major star nations.
- Fall of Trattoria
- Brootalz invasion
Gold Sector Conflict
- Many names for the same faction
- Mostly just Shulga grumping at people
Polish War of Independence
- Praetoria and Omegalon
Quest of Piltogg
- See page